Tag Archives: acceptance

What is the most helpful thing to say or do for someone who is dying?

cropped-chakra-banner.jpgThis is a topic many of you struggle with. Finding out that someone you love is dying soon or slowly in pain, terrifies you all. It breaks your heart open and you feel temporarily lost as the normal layers of protection over the heart are dislodged. You feel vulnerable, exposed, scared, and lost. Many want to run and hide, put the defences back in place and forget the news that shocked them.

Others want to rush to the person to comfort them, to assist them, to be with them. Some do that. Some feel so awkward not knowing what the best thing to say is or to do. They feel frozen in terror unable to decide. This is shock. It is the freeze or immobilisation state. You need to calm and soothe your body, so it can relax back into its normal state, before you can be of use to yourself or the person who is dying.

The news which is always devastating serves as a catalyst shaking up all who hear it. It gets them to question how they are living their lives.

You automatically wonder what it would be like to have received a death sentence like that yourself or for it to occur to those you hold dearest – parents, partner, or children. You try it on in a sense. You try to imagine it or feel it. You do this as you are trying to make sense of the implications, trying to understand how the other person feels and how you can help.

Do not torture yourself guessing. Simply ask. You can say to the person “I’m having difficulty accepting the news. I’m so sorry you are going through it. I wish I could change it. Please tell me if there is anything I can do that would be useful for you. I don’t mind what it is. I just want you to know I love you and I’m sorry you are going through this.”

That is the truth of the matter. Don’t burden the person with how you feel or what it has brought up for you. Try not to put on a stoic face, emotionless and soldier on through an interaction with the person. They don’t need any coldness.

They need warmth, closeness, to know they matter, that they have made a difference in your life and that they will be missed. Helping them to feel loved, seen, accepted, and cherished is the best thing you can do.

Let go of your fears and just be there, if it is appropriate for you to do so. You can offer, but accept if the person says no, that they would prefer to spend their remaining time alone, or with their family and closest friends.

You don’t have to turn up on the door step and camp out. It isn’t necessary. You don’t have to feel guilty for living your life or having fun. You don’t have to sacrifice your wellbeing. It won’t help the other to live longer.

If you do notice yourself falling into unhelpful patterns, stop, listen within, and send love to the part of you that is scared, hurting or feeling vulnerable. Talk to that part of you and comfort them.

Remind them that you’re not in trouble here. You didn’t cause it. You can’t control it. And you can’t fix it. It’s not your responsibility, and it’s okay to be upset. Comfort that part of you and find peace with what is.

It’s okay to rage at the sky or God, to say how it seems unfair or you wish it was different. It’s healthy to let the emotion out. Whether its fear, anger, rage, sadness, despair, guilt for being healthy, etc. Just acknowledge what you feel inside and love those parts of you, so that you can come back into balance.

Know that in time it will be you or someone closest to you. Death happens to us all. We can’t prevent it, but we can choose to live our lives more fully, so that when death does come knocking, and it will, that we can open the door and smile saying “I’ve got no regrets. I’m ready. It’s okay you’re here.” To not fight against what is.

When it is your time, it is your time. No amount of begging, crying, bargaining will alter it. We all have an allotted amount of time here on Earth. We each have the choice of how we spend it; of how much love we share and how much good we do in the world. Do what feels right to you and celebrate your life.

Thank the person who is dying for all they have shown you, for being the catalyst for your healing and learning to love even when it’s painful.

Thank them for all you have done together and shared. Tell them your favourite memories of them and your time together. Help them to see the goodness of their life, to feel a sense of “Yes, I’ve used my time well. I have mattered. I have loved, and I’ve had some fun”.

Help them to celebrate their life so that they can ease into their transition more peacefully. Of course you can only do this if the person is willing. They may have anger, guilt, resentments, grief, etc. that they are working through. They may feel a victim, abandoned by God. They may be thinking it is unfair or refuse to even acknowledge their situation.

Some choose to soldier on living life as normally as they can, until they drop dead. Others decide to party, travel, make the most of their remaining time. Some have no choice, bedridden and in pain. We do not have control of what occurs and when. We only have a choice in how we respond to it.

Just talk to someone who is dying and accept where they are at, whatever stage of the mourning process they are in. Accept where they are at and be there as much as they want you to be. And celebrate your life, your time and your options.

Thank this beautiful person for reminding you that life is short and you need to use the time you have as wisely as you can. Thank them, love them and let them be however they choose to be. It’s their life. Their rapid process of clearing, realising, feeling, etc. as they wind down and close off from this lifetime.

Yes you can talk about what happens after death, but be respectful. Everyone has different beliefs. Some won’t want to talk about it, and some may be desperate to do so, wanting to prepare themselves for the next chapter.

Know that you are all taken care of. There are Angels, Guides, loved ones who are departed, who will meet the person when they cross over. Death is not the end. It is just a waking up out of the body and ego, back into the fullness of who you are.

Your higher self, soul self, is magnificent. Part of you has been on a journey here on Earth to learn and grow. You already have the fullness of life, but you step down into a body to experience it, to feel it, to go through duality.

earth-1375640_1920 (Pixabay free)

In the other realm there is love, fullness, oneness. There are no opposites. You come to Earth to experience the opposites, to feel loss and pain, and love and joy.

You come to Earth to advance your soul’s evolution and learning, through living out various experiences. Each lifetime you choose a different focus to explore and hopefully master. If you don’t, you come back again and have another go.

This is not the end of your friend’s life. It is just the end of this chapter. Her book has many, many chapters already lived and more to come. So don’t despair, know that what is meant to be will be. If she is to live longer she will, but if it is her time then that is final, but she will live on in your hearts and memories.

She will also live on in spirit as she explores the other realm, and eventually when she is ready she will choose to return to Earth to undertake her next adventure in duality. All is okay. Just accept what is and breathe through any emotions.

You know what to do. Just be as kind and patient and accepting as you can be, as everyone will be going through deep emotions as they adjust to the news, and work out what they want to do to assist this beautiful person in her final days on Earth. May you all find peace in your hearts. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (11 May 2019).

  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)
Advertisements

How to anchor within your body?

Many of you live inside your minds disconnected from your bodies. You eat, you sleep, you do all that you do without much feeling or awareness of what is truly going on inside you. Your body may be screaming at you saying “I need rest” or “I need exercise”, but you don’t hear it. You are too busy rushing from one task to another or numbing out so you don’t feel your unhappiness with your life.

Some people numb out with food, others alcohol, work, computer games, Facebook, etc – anything that helps you escape and not have to look too deeply at what is going on inside, behind the curtain so to speak.

Your body has great wisdom to share with you, but most people have learned to ignore it. They don’t want to acknowledge they are unhappy with their work or their relationship. They don’t want to face the consequences of that truth as it is scary to contemplate changing jobs, leaving a marriage or following your passion in a different direction.

The loss of security, certainty, safety feels too threatening, so we eat or drink or do whatever action we need to distract our self from that niggling sensation inside and the truth of our being. If we disconnect completely we die, so most of us maintain a minimal connection. We can feel a little, but avoid feeling a lot.

Some have dissociated from their bodies due to trauma. It is like they float above and outside of the body, connected by a thread, just watching, waiting for the next traumatic experience. Such a person lives in fight, flight, freeze, flop. They are rarely relaxed or enjoying life. Their life force energy is used up by the hypervigilant nervous system constantly scanning for danger. Such a person is hardly connected to their body at all and can let bad things occur without feeling it.

They may eat to excess to the point of becoming obese. They may have sex with strangers and not really be present during it. They may walk into the path of oncoming traffic without realising they have done so. When you’re not in your body you are risking your health in more ways than one.

Eventually the body will get sick. How sick depends on your fate and your determination not to listen to the body’s messages. If you constantly ignore your intuition or your truth that you are unhappy in some way, then your body has to ramp up the message so you will listen.

It tries many ways, but if you refuse to hear then illness, accidents, near death experiences may occur to get you to stop and pay attention. Much better to face the truth before then, to listen to your body, to ground within it and become at peace with yourself and your life.

Many people feel helpless to change their circumstances, hence they avoid it. Start by just acknowledging what is “I don’t like where I’m living or what I’m doing. I’m lonely and scared. I hate myself and what I’ve become ……” It may not be that severe, it may only be “I wish I hadn’t done X,Y,Z. If I hadn’t I would be in a better position now. If only I had…..”. Any of these types of regrets, resentments, self loathing will lower your energy and if the pain is too great you will numb out in some way.

It is like our bodies are full of ice. All that unmoving emotion frozen within. To start thawing it out we need to acknowledge it exists. “Yes, this is how I’m feeling. I don’t know what to do about it yet, but this is how I’m feeling”. To even just admit that helps so much. It may let you breathe a bit deeper, to see within a little more.

Then you can consider options. “I’m not ready to make a massive change in my life yet. I know I could, but I’m going to be kind to myself and take it slow. I’m going to support myself as I learn how to respond to this and as I listen for insight and guidance as to the next best steps for me to take”. Become your own best friend.

Slow down and give yourself a chance to rest, to integrate and strengthen. Spend time in nature and let it soothe you, replenish you, guide you. Pray and ask for guidance and support from God or your Higher Self, your Guides of Angels. Who or whatever you are comfortable connecting with. For some people that may be Mother Earth or a deceased loved one who they love and trust.

Your ancestors are around you in spirit form. They do connect with you and you can gain strength and support from them. Just welcome them into your heart. Ask them to hold you and guide you. There is so much support available to us from life. We just have to ask and allow it in. Simply close your eyes and ask your ancestors to be with you. Sense them nearby, talk to them, let yourself see them, feel them, hear them. You can and it is good for you. Anything that helps your heart open and your mouth smile is beneficial.

Trust in life and your process. It is okay to go slow. Nature shows us the passing seasons and cycles. It takes time to grow. There’s a time for stagnation, for the shoot to emerge, for the plant to grow and strengthen, for the flower to bud, blossom, wilt and die. There is a time for the seed to fall, to hibernate, to germinate and for the cycle to repeat itself with new growth and life.

We humans want it all to happen now. We expect life to be all okay, all happy right now thank you very much. That’s not how life works. We have spent a lifetime, if not more, partially disconnected from our bodies. It is going to take time to reinhabit them, to melt the ice, to feel the feelings, to honour our truth and find the courage to act upon it. See what is involved. See that all you need to do is take baby steps and let the process occur.

Your body wants to be healthy and happy. Your soul wants you to grow and evolve. It will give you the insights and guidance you need. You just have to be willing to face your truth and take baby steps towards your goal.

You don’t need to figure it out with your mind. Let your mind rest. Let life force flow to the rest of your body. Your mind doesn’t have to work so hard. It’s actually not in charge. It thinks it is. The ego wants it to be. But your body is much, much more powerful and it will win out.

No matter how much you study, learn, succeed or achieve, your body will make you stop and listen. That’s why so many over achievers have heart attacks or other physical challenges. They love their mind, but ignore their body. Until one day the body says “Enough, pay attention to me”. It is a little like a child’s tantrum, but it is an important one, a life threatening or empowering one, depending on which way you look at it.

Many people think of their body as failing them, as the enemy, as an annoying nuisance interrupting their plans. This is foolish. You are your body, it is you. You need to accept this and honour all of you. It’s not selfish to take good care of you. You need to do it. Then you can make a more whole-hearted contribution to society. You can take heart-felt sustainable action that fulfils you, strengthens you and brings you joy. You do this by embodying all of who you are.

It’s time to embrace your body, to anchor within, and to listen to your Soul. Listen and you will be guided forth as to what is most needed. That may be rest, stillness, play and fun. For many that seems pointless, a waste of time. It’s not. Your body needs time to replenish, to strengthen and heal.

Often the answer to a problem will intuitively come once you’ve stopped focusing on it and struggling to find it with your mind. Let go of control and feel, play, have fun. It is just as important for your health if not more so than the food you eat.

You can eat the healthiest food, but if you are disconnected from your body, it doesn’t benefit from the nourishment you have given it. Even vitamin tablets may not be absorbed fully if your focus is in your mind or outside of yourself. You can literally be starving yourself by your thinking and actions that are negative for the body.

It’s time for us to realise we have a new task, a new baby or pet or responsibility to take care of and it requires a lot of our time and attention. When we do give to it and love it, we blossom. We need to honour our bodies, our whole self – just like a baby or child in our care. It is that precious, that dependent on us, that important. We have to give to ourself that same love, care, devotion and attention. We deserve it, for each of us is a precious child, a precious Soul living life the best way it knows how.

It’s time to simplify our ambitions and to focus on living life honouring our self, our needs and opening our hearts to see where life wants us to go, not where we think it should be. Just be yourself, anchor into your body and let yourself move forth with love for self, others and the planet who supports us. When we anchor into our hearts we will be much more nourished and fulfilled. It is safe for you to do so, to be in your body and your heart. Comfort yourself like you would a scared child, for that is what you are.

Comfort yourself and see the inner ice melt and fall away. Let the light in, let the warmth of the sun fill you with more vibrant energy and sing your way through life listening to the information in the wind that blows inside and outside of you. That is how you anchor into your body and your life. Blessed Be. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (12 August 2018).

  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)

How do we stop fighting against our lives?

You fight because you resist surrendering your defences and feeling your pain. It feels too big, overwhelming, obliterating. You sense the depths of emotional pain inside and you fight against facing it all.

Yet at the same time you search for solutions so you will feel better. You want it to be gentle, sanitised, easy, but emotional pain has to be felt and transmuted, felt into completion, loved and accepted. You get tired of layer after layer surfacing and wonder whether it will ever end. It won’t. It just changes form.

You are not lost or drowning, you just think you are. It is like you are in water that is deep enough that it has the illusion you can’t stand in. You swim or doggy paddle trying to stay afloat. You know you can only do it for so long. Eventually you have to give in, to let yourself sink. It is only then you realise you can actually stand and you are okay.

That is what you’re doing. You keep swimming or running or hiding when you don’t need to any more. It is safe for you to be still, to rest, to play, to look around and enjoy life, to connect with others. But part of you still flees, still fears bad things happening. Part of you still stays small hoping not to be noticed, worried what others may do to you.

You waste so much energy in fight or flight or trying to figure things out, solve imaginary problems, predict future outcomes in an attempt to avoid those you don’t like. What is meant to be will be. You can’t run away from it or hide. It will happen.

Surrender to your life’s plan and destiny. It was set before you were born. It was agreed to prior to incarnation. The movie starring you has already been made. It’s in the theatre, part way through screening, and you are waving your hands hoping to change it, to alter the script, but it is already done. What is going to occur will occur. You can’t prevent it or alter it dramatically, so stop wasting your energy fearing what is next, trying to control or manipulate it.

Accept what is and trust you will be led forth by God, by love, by your higher self, to experience what you need in order for you to heal and grow, for your soul’s evolution.

What is needed will occur. Some of it will be enjoyable and some of it will not, but it will all lead you forth to growth and integration of your higher self into your body, so you can shine your divine light and a heart full of love into the world.

You are being led to a good place. It is beneficial. You just doubt it, question it, mistrust it. You fight against it, but it is all happening for your highest good.

You know that tragedies lead to rethinking the way you live life. They lead to personal reflection, insight and growth. They serve a purpose. They come when they are needed. You can’t prevent it.

Stop wasting your energy worrying about ‘What if’s’. Half of what you imagine won’t happen and the other half will not be as bad as you imagine. It is all leading you forth to heal and open up to receiving and giving love more easily.

So relax and enjoy your life. Trust God’s plan. Slow down and have fun. Don’t worry so much. Don’t try to figure it all out. You don’t need to see what is up ahead. What matters are the next few steps. Be in this moment and see where your heart guides you. Listen to your body and its messages.

Slow down and BE. Integrate all the shifts and changes you have been through. Let your body adjust to the changes in vibration and your nervous system to relax out of survival mode into being mode. You can do it. You just need to stop. Stop all thinking about the future. Trust what is to come is good for you. Allow what is, to be what it is and know it will change if and when it is meant to.

You don’t have to work so hard. Rest, you deserve it. You need it. Simplify your life and make time for being, for enjoying yourself, doing things you love and spending time with people you can connect with heart to heart.

You are allowed to take time off, time out from work or study or responsibilities. Relax and be, that is what you need most, and that is how you stop fighting against your life. Accept it as it is.

We each have a unique journey designed for our soul’s evolution. Everyone will experience something different. Some people will have it easier than you and some more difficult. It depends what they are here to learn.

Those who experience deep challenges are keen souls, eager to evolve quickly. They have agreed to experience in one life, what other souls may do over 3 or 4 lives. They have chosen to condense it, so they can evolve more quickly, but that means this lifetime will be full of ups and downs, more chaos, more challenges and disasters than usual.

It can seem too much at times and this is why you fight against feeling the pain. You haven’t chosen a gentle path. You’ve chosen a steep and rocky one, and the best way to navigate it is slowly, step by step, taking time to breathe deeply, to connect to nature and its beauty and calming effects. There are lots of supports available as you navigate through your life.

Just accept what is and do what is needed to heal and balance up, but do it peacefully, slowly, don’t push too hard. Be kind to yourself and your body. It has been through so much and it needs you to treat it with reverence and love. Be that loving parent and best friend for yourself. That is what is needed, so you can relax and enjoy your life.

You can do it. You are and you will get better at it as you stop fighting against what is and you trust more in what is to come, for it is good, very good indeed. It leads you home to your heart with love. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (26 July 2018).

  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)

How to accept where people are at?

Are you struggling to accept someone’s choices or journey? Here is a blog I channelled on ‘How to accept where people are at’.

Amongst your community there are many people with low levels of awareness, that does not make them wrong or less than you or others who are more aware of life and the larger reasons for it. All beings are exactly where they need to be for their evolution and growth. All are awakening and becoming conscious at the rate that is best for them.

Some who appear less conscious, actually are highly evolved beings who have chosen particularly hard life paths to attempt to master a particular skill. You cannot tell someone’s level of awareness by looking at them or analysing them with your mind. You can only glimpse it through your heart, through witnessing their heart in action, their vibration, their kindness to other beings.

Those who are lofty in knowledge are not necessarily living that knowledge. They may know what it means to be aware, conscious, God-like beings. This does not mean they do it, be it, breathe it – have embodied it. They will in time. Often gaining a lot of knowledge occurs because there is deep pain to be released and they are avoiding feeling and releasing it, by staying stuck in their heads, not in their bodies where the pain is located.

In time when they are ready they will drop down into the pain, feel it, release it and balance back up. Everyone does this when they finally feel safe enough, loved enough and trusting enough that they will cope and come out the other side.

It takes time to build emotional awareness and ability to feel what is truly going on inside, to drop down and listen, to feel into that inner silence and allow forth that which needs your presence and allowance to surface, to enable your freedom once it is released.

To do it sooner than you are truly ready for just results in fear, results in retraumatisation and disillusion. To push too far before you have the ability to process it safely harms the body, as you reattach to the emotion and the story, instead of just witnessing it and letting it go. People need to learn these skills first, learn how to sit in the pain and not own it, just let it float by. They need to learn to trust life to hold them, care for them and provide for them. This only gets learned through experience of synchronicities and life’s majestic gifts, when things happen unexplainably showing you there is a bigger plan unfolding and you are just one small part of that.

People cannot be told about this and embody it, they have to experience it and it takes time. This is why you can plant seeds of awareness, but can’t make them blossom. Life will do that and it takes each plant a different amount of time, water, love and growth to do it.

So as an educator or helper the best thing you can do is share your story, your experiences of the mysteries of life to give another hope, inspiration and a little more faith and trust. Then let go, let life lead them forth and provide them with their own miracles, to open their hearts and let them heal. You cannot make it happen. You cannot rescue or fix anyone. God will do it perfectly at the right time for that person. So do not lose sleep worrying about others or trying to figure out how to help them realise the truth or release their pain. Life will do it, life will guide them forth.

The best you can do is vibrate in as close a state of love and acceptance as you can, then your energy will help uplift theirs and hold the space for their awakening to life and its larger mysteries. Just love and accept them and know they will be led forth to their magnificence when the time is right. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (27 September 2016).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Do we need to forgive?

Many people say that to have peace we need to forgive those who have hurt us, to let go of the pain and any resentment, judgement, hate or anger we may feel towards the other person. It is true if we hold onto these emotions we are keeping our self stuck in the energy of the past events and keeping it alive in our body. By focusing on the “wrong doing” we keep our self reliving it and replaying it in life, as we attract in other similar situations – in a subconscious attempt to heal the wound.

If we have formed beliefs that the world is dangerous or people can’t be trusted or everyone’s out to get me, then we live life with that viewpoint. Our eyes can’t perceive all the data that is there when we look at a scene. Millions of bits of information is sent to our brain which filters it based on our beliefs of what is most vital for us to see for our survival, our well being. So if we are locked in fight or flight or trauma from the past with beliefs that we are in danger all the time, then that is what the data gets searched for and we only see that subset of infomration about the scene we are viewing. We don’t notice the beauty, the love being shown between people or animals and their owners, etc, we just see the potential dangers, threats and situations to avoid in order to best protect our self. It is a self protection mechanism called a ‘negativity bias’. It is an evolutionary tool, a mechanism that makes sense biologically to keep us alive.

The sad part is that if you have those type of negative beliefs or buried trauma inside your body you miss out on seeing and feeling all the goodness in life that is their waiting for you to see it, to let it in, to trust and believe it is possible, that you deserve it and to accept it. You are worthy of good things, of fun, of love, of laughter and joy. You are worthy of wealth, abundance of food, shelter, clothing, health, etc.

The world is abundant, there is goodness out there, all around us, we just have to do the work to heal our programming – our negative beliefs and to shift out the pain and trauma in our bodies so it knows the war is over and can relax and start to enjoy life more.

If you are holding on to a grudge about what has happened to you or onto what you have missed out on because of your experiences – then you are keeping yourself caught in that dynamic of feeling bad, victimised, empty of joy and vitality. You are punishing yourself with your choice of thoughts and actions that will result from that level of thinking.

Forgiveness is not about letting go of wrongdoing, it is about realising that whatever has happened in your life has happened and accepting it and getting on with your life to let more goodness in. You accept what is and turn towards life, to focus on the now and what is to come, instead of being turned away from life focused on the past, entangled with it and missing out on your now. Focus here, now and move forward, you can do it. It is a choice you have to choose to make.

Many people hold on as they think it is punishing their parents or those that hurt them. They don’t want to let them off the hook, but doing this just keeps you caught up in the pain. You need to choose to let it go for your own sake, so you can move on and enjoy life. Your parents may not have been perfect parents, but they did what they could for you with the knowledge and emotional maturity they had. They too may have been suffering and caught up in the pain of their past.

Family Constellations shows us that when people are entangled with ancestors and the traumas or unfinished business within the family system, their energy is literally stuck there in that event or with that ancestor who may have been rejected, died young or suffered some tragedy that wasn’t spoken about or fully grieved. That stuck energy, that trauma occupies their energy, they are bound to it, turned towards it, enmeshed with it and literally unable to look away and focus on their now.

If your parents were entangled in the past in this way, they simply could not focus all their energy on being present with you, giving you the love and nourishment that children desire, hunger for. They literally were not available to live their lives fully and you missed out on their attention, the full connection with them that you wanted. They too missed out on being fully present in their life and on being an attentive, loving parent with their children. They missed out too.

See how the trauma continues down the line. If you judge your parents and turn away from them, reject them, assume you are better than them or know more than them – then you too turn away from being present fully in your life. A lot of your energy is caught up with your past and what you missed out on, on the pain and disappointment or anger over what happened. You say no to them and in essence no to life. You stop letting whatever goodness they can give you in. When you have kids they too will feel the lack of your presence and feel like you are not fully present or available for them. They too will feel they have missed out and they may judge you and turn away as they get older. The pattern repeats unless you heal the trauma, so that all who are entangled can finally let it rest and turn to focus on their own lives, to live them fully, joyously, focused on creating and accepting the goodness of life.

Family Constellations can help to untangle the traumas and past hurts, it can help free everyone involved, so they can focus on the now and enjoy it.

Your parents didn’t deliberately hurt you. If it seemed like they did, this was just their pain seeping out, being projected onto you. They too have wounds from their childhood and from their ancestors which they carry. They too are burdened and lived out all this pain the only way they knew how to do so. The result was what you experienced as their child. They didn’t have the tools to do it differently. Now we can. Now we can set ourselves and them free, to enjoy life more fully.

Do the work to heal and let go of the pain, accept what happened and see your parents for who they truly are, and thank them for your life. Focus on the goodness they gave you and let it in. Even if there was trauma and abuse, they gave you life and that is a great gift. Accept that and honour them for that.

If your parents are still alive and you interact with them, let yourself receive their love in whatever way they can show it to you. They may not be able to express it, but perhaps you can see it in their gestures, their gifts, their contact with you and wanting to spend time with you, their compliments or money or food – whatever it is, let them give to you, let yourself receive the goodness, love and energy from them, so that your cup is filled, so that you are nourished and can live your life from a place of fullness, not emptiness, barrenness, darkness.

If your parents are dead or are not able to give you love then you can visualise receiving the love and goodness from them and from other relatives who you may have had more positive interactions. Recall positive times and relive those memories, anchoring in the fun, the love, the goodness. See those ancestors around you in Spirit, supporting you, encouraging you, cheering you on as you live your life.

Let the goodness in. There is much waiting for you to receive it, but to do so you have to let go of the old emotions and traumas, so your arms are free to receive the new. You can do it! You can do it for yourself, for your children, for your family. All will benefit when you heal and let go of the past burdens that you have carried. The whole family system is affected when a member of it chooses love and does the work to heal. It is a true gift that you can give to yourself and your family, so all can live more peacefully.

Forgiveness is not about right or wrong, about who did what and atoning for it, making up for it. It is simply about accepting what occurred and healing the wound so you are free from the pain. It takes effort to heal and become free. Simply saying “I forgive you” does nothing, very little. It actually has a negative effect because in essence it is a judgement on the person and their action. It says “I know you should have done better, but you didn’t, and I begrudgingly accept that and I will forgive you because I am a better person, a bigger person than you”. See the judgement in this, feel how it stops the flow of love.

It is like putting a boulder in the river, disturbing the flow of life force energy from your ancestors, your parents, to yourself. It is like you are trying to politely cover up something that is disgusting and pretending it is no longer there – like putting a white cloth over the top of some vomit or dog poo. It still stinks, it is still there, but it appears to be gone, buried, hidden. You then tiptoe around it, trying not to look at it or step in it, but it is still there, just waiting to be seen, festering, decaying and having a negative impact on your vitality.

You are not bigger than or better than your parents. They are the BIG ONES and you are the LITTLE ONE. They came first, they gave you life and the life force flows from them to you. If you resist them, you resist life. Let the life force flow to you unhindered. It is not about forgiving them, it is more like accepting them for who they are and letting them stand there with no judgement or condemnation. Just let them be who they are and thank them for what they did give you. Anything they couldn’t give you, you can get from elsewhere. You can make something good out of what they gave you, make something good out of your life and the opportunity presented to you. In this sense forgiveness is about peace, acceptance and harmony, and restoring these to the family system for the wellbeing of all. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (21 October 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

Donate Button

 

How to accept life?

Many of you would prefer to be dead, home with Spirit, basking in unconditional love, than on your planet living your lives. Many of you remember what it feels like on the other side and you long for it. You find Earth too harsh, too painful, and too much to adjust to.

You see the beauty and feel the Earth’s magnificence, but everywhere you look you see destruction, pain, people making poor choices, hurting each other, self and Earth. You focus on the pain and destruction and you turn away from life. You’d rather not be here. You’d rather leave and return home.

We tell you it is not time to come home. You are on Earth for a purpose. You are on Earth to transmute the darkness into light. You come as the light bearers, the illuminators, to shine your light so brightly that the dark recedes and love spreads fluidly through the veins of all who live on Earth.

That is your role, your purpose. You see the dark so that you can help transform it. You see the dark so that you can love and accept it and move through it. You need to embrace it and what it brings up inside you. You need to look within and transmute the pain inside you and keep doing so till all that is left is love and light.

Your darkness is not negative, it is just a sampling of what is occurring at a mass level in society. Your darkness is not a flaw, a problem, it is simply unfelt pain. You sense the pain and turn away from it, as it feels too much to embrace, but you can embrace it and when you do it will dissolve. Then you can be a true advocate of peace, because you can look at the darkness fully and not flinch, you can look and smile and send love, because that is what you feel and who you are.

So don’t turn away from the pain, embrace it, know you have gone through what you have gone through for a reason. You are here to help 1000’s like you who have gone through similar experiences. Open your eyes and see all there is to see. Don’t close them and hide because it seems like too much to bear. Know you are strong enough, you are capable and your voice does matter. It really does. Every act of kindness you do helps to shift the energy on the planet, the focuse between dark and light.

Again we say the dark is not bad, it is just unresolved pain, emotional trauma, that gets acted out by those in pain, perpetuating more and more pain and destruction. It can be healed, it can be resolved, but to do so you have to be prepared to face it, to love it, to move past it, beyond the pain to see the goodness of life and all those who live it.

You really are brave souls coming to Earth. It isn’t easy being in duality, feeling all there is to feel. We honour you and all who make this choice. You are all being of great service in the larger scheme of life. Each one of you helps to shift the vibration of the planet, assisting with the evolution of all who walk the Earth plane. There is much going on in the cosmos that you are not aware of. Much happening in the higher levels. This is just one dimension of many where life moves forward, where evolution is occurring. Do not concern yourself with these things. Focus on where you are and on living your life more fully.

Don’t hide away and close your eyes in despair. Look at life fully. Look at what you do want to advocate for and be a champion of goodness, of light, of love, making a difference while you are there on Earth. Everything you do helps. Face the truth of life and live it. Don’t keep hiding. Live life fully, speak up, be loving, do loving acts of kindness and know it is all helping, tipping the balance of dark and light on the Earth plane. You are here for that reason to embody the light and embrace your life, spreading light wherever you go. Let it be so, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (8 August 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

Donate Button

How to accept divine timing and your growth rate?

It is not up to you how fast growth occurs. It takes a lifetime to achieve the growth your soul has come to experience. Events will occur to create the shifts needed, for awareness to dawn and self love to occur. This will all happen at the destined time. You can not influence it. You think you can by going to that workshop, doing that healing, but we tell you it still occurs as needed. It is your soul guiding you forth. It is your soul giving you the urge to do the workshop or healing. It is all occurring as it needs to.

Let go of the judgement, the impatience and flow with the process, accept what comes and what goes. It is not up to you. People will come and go out of your life, behave in certain ways to trigger you. Everything that is needed for your growth will come, because it has to for you to evolve as needed this lifetime.

You can’t get it wrong or miss an important event or person. It will all occur as it needs to. You just judge it with your mind, assuming you should be doing more or be more advanced by now. There is no more advanced, there is no better than or worse than, don’t compare your self to others. Don’t assume how you should be is anything other than how you already are.

You humans make it so hard for yourselves. You are determined to see yourselves as not good enough, but this is just your thoughts, just your conditioning. Change it, so you are accepting of yourself, so you know you are exactly where and how you need to be right now, so you can be kind and loving to yourself. That is what is needed so you can enjoy the process more, so you can enjoy the journey.

You wil get where you need to be regardless, but you affect your experience of it with your thoughts. You create suffering and angst with your thoughts and judgements. Accept what is and flourish. Deny it and struggle. Rally against it and feel helpless, depressed or worse suicidal. Accept what is, knowing it will pass, that it is just a phase of growth and you will have peace. Accept yourself and your journey and you will have joy. Accept those around you and trust they are guided forth in their process, that they are all doing exactly what is needed for their evolution and growth, then you will have love overflowing in your life – from you to others and from others to you. Accept what is and have peace.

Foster greater acceptance and trust, faith that it will all work out okay and you will have excitement, anticipation and positive feelings of the future. The choice is yours create negative feelings with your thoughts or positive ones. The same outcomes will occur, just your experience of it, your sense of joy or suffering will differ. Which will you choose? It is entirely up to you. Blessed BE , Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (21 April 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How to accept where people are at?

Amongst your community there are many people with low levels of awareness, that does not make them wrong or less than you or others who are more aware of life and the larger reasons for it. All beings are exactly where they need to be for their evolution and growth. All are awakening and becoming conscious at the rate that is best for them.

Some who appear less conscious, actually are highly evolved beings who have chosen particularly hard life paths to attempt to master a particular skill. You cannot tell someone’s level of awareness by looking at them or analysing them with your mind. You can only glimpse it through your heart, through witnessing their heart in action, their vibration, their kindness to other beings.

Those who are lofty in knowledge are not necessarily living that knowledge. They may know what it means to be aware, conscious, God-like beings. This does not mean they do it, be it, breathe it – have embodied it. They will in time. Often gaining a lot of knowledge occurs because there is deep pain to be released and they are avoiding feeling and releasing it, by staying stuck in their heads, not in their bodies where the pain is located.

In time when they are ready they will drop down into the pain, feel it, release it and balance back up. Everyone does this when they finally feel safe enough, loved enough and trusting enough that they will cope and come out the other side.

It takes time to build emotional awareness and ability to feel what is truly going on inside, to drop down and listen, to feel into that inner silence and allow forth that which needs your presence and allowance to surface, to enable your freedom once it is released.

To do it sooner than you are truly ready for just results in fear, results in retraumatisation and disillusion. To push too far before you have the ability to process it safely harms the body, as you reattach to the emotion and the story, instead of just witnessing it and letting it go.

People need to learn these skills first, learn how to sit in the pain and not own it, just let it float by. They need to learn to trust life to hold them, care for them and provide for them. This only gets learned through experience of synchronicities and life’s majestic gifts, when things happen unexplainably showing you there is a bigger plan unfolding and you are just one small part of that.

positive-parenting-nurturePeople cannot be told about this and embody it, they have to experience it and it takes time. This is why you can plant seeds of awareness, but can’t make them blossom. Life will do that and it takes each plant a different amount of time, water, love and growth to do it.

So as an educator or helper the best thing you can do is share your story, your experiences of the mysteries of life to give another hope, inspiration and a little more faith and trust. Then let go, let life lead them forth and provide them with their own miracles, to open their hearts and let them heal. You cannot make it happen. You cannot rescue or fix anyone. God will do it perfectly at the right time for that person. So do not lose sleep worrying about others or trying to figure out how to help them realise the truth or release their pain. Life will do it, life will guide them forth.

The best you can do is vibrate in as close a state of love and acceptance as you can, then your energy will help uplift theirs and hold the space for their awakening to life and its larger mysteries. Just love and accept them and know they will be led forth to their magnificence when the time is right. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (27 September 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

What is an entanglement?

An entanglement is an enmeshment with another person that affects your ability to be yourself and do as you please. You are so caught up with the other person that your thoughts and feelings are tangled up with theirs. It is hard to know where you end and the other person starts, there is no boundary or separation, the two people are entwined, tangled together into one messy situation.

This comonly occurs when a child tries to take care of a parent. The child sensing the parent’s pain or inability to cope with their life, steps up and takes responsibility for helping reduce the burden on the parent. This is a reversal of the orders of love – parents are meant to give and children receive.

Happy kidsChildren are meant to grow focussed on life, play, having fun and age appropriate issues. It is not normal for a child to be thinking about adult problems and trying to solve them. But children will do this out of loyalty, out of love and out of a desire to stay safe and keep their home. No matter how dysfunctional or painful a child prefers to stay with its parent, rather than be taken away into the unknown, even if that unknown is a more loving home with other family members or foster parents.

Our loyalty to our biological parents is huge and stays with us our whole life. If we violate that bond, if we judge or reject our parents we feel a loss, an emptiness, a sadness deep inside, as the flow of love from the family line has been blocked. We are refusing to accept our parents and our life as it is. In essence we are saying ‘NO to life’ and we suffer as a result. The life force flowing to us is diminished as we are saying NO to our parents, NO to their love, NO to receiving any energy or support from them. We are saying “NO, you are not good enough, I wanted more, someone different to you”. This is fighting against life, fighting against what is. These are your parents for better or worse, they are your parents. They gave you life and if that is all they gave you it is a true gift. At the very least accept that, be grateful for that.

As we heal we can come to see our parents as not just ‘parents’, but as people with their own issues, challenges and emotional hurts. If we are trying to fix them, change them, influence them, we are still entangled. We are still caught up unhealthily over involved in their energy and trying to control life. This is like standing in front of a dam that is cracking and trying to order the water to stay there, not to move. It won’t work. As the dam cracks the water is going to gush forth, because that is what water does, gravity does.

Your parents have their own lives to lead and it is not our place to judge them or be overly involved in their business, to be entangled like this stops us from living our lives fully. It is best to accept your parents as they are, to say ‘YES to life’, YES to receiving whatever goodness you can get from them and to accept that as all they can give you, to say “That is enough. What you can’t give me I will get from elswhere. Thank you Mum, thank you Dad, you are enough”. When we can say this and mean it we are freed from the entanglement. The love strength and support from the family line can flow to us, helping us, supporting us to live more fully. We are accepting our place in life and letting ourselves receive the goodness from our family line.

Reaching that place of acceptance can be a long journey. It takes time to grieve what could have been, what you felt should have been and to accept what was and is. That is the journey of life. It is true and authentic emotional release work required until you do feel peaceful inside and accepting of your family.

You could choose to stay in judgement and anger over what has happened or hasn’t happened in your life, but this just punishes you and limits you and your ability to live life joyously. Best to untangle the web, to break free and accept what is and make the most out of it. This is one form of entanglement that can have a massive impact on a person’s life.

Another kind of entanglement occurs when a child takes on a burden for the ancestors present or ancient. It can be a sibling not wanting to live fully because they see their brother or sister afflicted with an illness or who died and they feel guilty for living or being able to do what the other could not. In essence they wish to join the lost sibling. This will result in poor health for themself or some other dysfunction in their lives, as in essence they are saying NO to life, NO to goodness, abundance, health and vitality. They are saying I don’t deserve this or I have no right to this. It is self sacrifice out of loyalty, out of love and entanglement with the fate of the other.

Instead of dying for the other choose to stay a while longer, choose to live fully for them, to do what they could not do, to achieve whatever you desire and to join them when it is your proper time. Whether it was a sibling who died young, your parent or your own child, you do not have to follow them into the grave. You can live and hold them in your heart, feel them in your heart. They are there, their energy is available to you. Your ancestors long dead watch you, pray for you and send you love. They want you to succeed and to advance the family line. It is okay to feel your sadness and to move through it back to peace and happiness.

Another type of entanglement which sounds a little more bizarre, occurs with past relatives whom you may not have even met. It is possible that a young woman having difficulties with infertility is actually entangled with a great Aunt who never married. The energetic connection is such that the present soul put up their hand to relate, to repeat the pattern that occurred in the family line. The same occurs with members of the family who suffered tragedies such as loss of a loved one, death, murder, suicide, etc. A present family member who is connected to the past ancestor may also have suicidal thoughts or mental health problems, they may have financial difficulties or other challenges in life.

Sometimes it is as if the current family member is atoning for the sins of the previous ancestor – they struggle to make up for the wrong doing of the other. In different situations it is as if the family member present today chooses the same fate out of love for the other, wanting to empathise with them. Either way it is not helpful to the present person and it hinders their ability to live their life fully.

When the entanglement is identified and healed the person is free to live how they like. They can consciously honour the past family member and their fate, but choose to be free of the entanglement now, with love and respect, bowing to the ancestor and leaving it with them. This is core Family Constellations work and it is beautful to watch these resolutions occur and people being freed from the knots that have bound them and limited their ability to enjoy their lives. With the knots untied they can walk forward easily to do what they wish, without hindrance. May we all walk freely and enjoy our lives. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (18 September 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Why do we fight against what is?

You fight against what is because you know it is not meant to be the way it is. Life can be loving, kind, joyful, filled with connection, fun and peace, but for most of you it is not. It is often filled with drudgery, monotony, boredom, loneliness and sadness. Inside you know this is not needed, you know love and freedom to be yourself and follow your heart is needed. You know this, so you fight against what is.

The fight, the resistance, doesn’t serve you. It just upsets you, makes getting through the day even harder. It limits you, you feel restricted, annoyed, agitated and your emotions could spiral lower and turn into a bad mood, through which you then view the present as unacceptable, life as challenging and other people as obstacles to getting your tasks done.

When you drop into such a low vibration state, you can feel depressed about life and wonder if this is all it will ever be. But it won’t. It is changing all the time. You are healing each day and as you heal your vibration changes, and what you attract into your life changes. You are only where you are, because of your thinking and your emotional density. Let that go and you can be as light as a feather. Trusting life can be as easy as breathing, when your heart is heard and your body clear.

For most people this is a long way off. That’s okay. It just is. Your physical body could not cope with letting go of all the density in one moment. It would explode! It has to be done bit by bit, layer by layer, so your body and your thinking can adjust, so you can cope with it all.

You will get there. It is your destiny to walk the Earth free from fear, restriction, hardship and poor health. You will shine brightly, have fun and follow your heart. You will still work, but it will be work you love, being of service to the whole in your unique way. You resist the now, fight against it, because you already want to be at the end place where life is more blissful.

hot air balloonBut know it is a  journey, it is meant to take time and even when you get to that blissful future place there will still be challenges and opportunities to grow and evolve further. That is life, that is evolution, that is how it is meant to be. You will just go through them more easily when you no longer fight against it. You simply accept what is and let it pass, knowing this too shall pass and brighter, more light filled times will come. They will.

You sense what is to come and want to be there NOW. No waiting, no stopping to pass go, now, now, now. In your impatience you create resistance, which actually slows it down. Your vibration drops, it is like hitting the pause button. Your future is hurtling towards you on a conveyor belt, good things are coming, they have to when your vibration is high. But if you get consistently upset, angry, depressed, frustrated, etc, your vibration drops and the conveyor belt slows. Your future is still coming, but slower, in a sense, because really it happens as it needs to. But you get the picture. Your emotions create resistance and this slows your ability to enjoy your now and to move into your future joyful states.

It is hard to explain in words. What is destined will be. It is pointless fighting against it or worrying about it. It will happen. What you can influence or change is how you feel during the journey to it. You can suffer if you choose negative feelings and thoughts or you can flow and be happy if you choose to just witness what is and trust what will come is what is needed, and it will be as it should be. TRUST. SURRENDER. HAVE FAITH. Know you don’t need to do anything in particular. What is set, is set. You just determine how you experience the ride. If we were you we would choose peace and joy. Why not? They feel great!

So don’t fight against what is, know it is a point in time leading you forth to what you do want. The now is a cleansing period for releasing what no longer serves you, so that your desired state can manifest. You know deep down that peace and harmony are your natural state and you can be that all the time if you accept what is and all aspects of life that occur. You don’t need to judge them, hate them, feel angry about whatever occurred or towards whoever was involved. Do what is needed to resolve the issue and balance back up to peace and joy.

In time you will do it automatically, because you won’t want to stay feeling any other way. You won’t let life events knock you around so much, as feeling good will be your top priority. You can do it and you will do it. It is just a stepping stone away from the cosmic perspective or a journey away this lifetime as you walk your path towards living with ease and grace.

So be thankful for what is, know that even the most challenging times are helping you clear out the emotional density and vibrational blocks, so that you can have what you want. You have lifetimes of density to release, oodles of fear and hate and density to release. It takes time. It takes a lot of time to release your judgements and conditioning, so you can walk freely, singing joyously, as you go about your day. Trust the process. Trust life and enjoy each moment. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (28 May 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.