This week I’m sharing a video that explores why trauma repeats through families. It is often completely unintentional, but a parent’s wounding from the hurts in their life can make it hard for them to be fully present and available to their children.
Despite their efforts, part of their energy is tied up with their past and has them metaphorically turned towards the past and away from the now. The kids feel this and grow with a sense of lack. Once they become parents the same process repeats unless they take action to heal, so they can face now being present fully and available to their kids who will then grow with a sense of fullness, of being seen, held and safe, knowing they belong and that they are okay.
Family Constellations is a modality that can help unentangle you from the past so that you can turn and be present to your now, more able to give and receive love.
In this video, Jodi-Anne explores ‘Why does trauma repeat through families?’ It is one of over 100 questions she has asked about life and channelled an answer through automatic writing. All of these answers to questions about life, how to live peacefully and happily are available for free on the ‘Life Insights’ page of her website.
This weeks video blog looks at the challenge of how best to respond when someone you love is in pain. It discusses how to protect your energy and not get dragged down by the other’s mood or pain, how you can stay strong to shine your light and your love to help them heal and move forward.
It is very tempting when someone you love is in pain to want to try and fix it, to help them feel better, to make it go away, so you can enjoy each other’s company again. It is understandable that you would want to do this, for it is hard to see them in pain and not to feel the pain yourself. But know you are not serving them if you try to distract them or if you get upset with them and they swallow the pain, so you feel better and won’t be upset with them any longer.
They need to feel, release and process their pain. They need to feel into its depths, express its impact on them, move through the emotions, back to a place of calm and peace. If you can’t allow them to do this, they stay stuck and so do you and your relationship.
So, how to stay strong in the face of someone else’s pain? Remember it is growth, and they will get through it. Remember it is temporary and will leave if you let them feel it fully into completion. Remember it is not all about you and that they need to go through this. Remember deep emotional pain can only be processed at a rate that the person’s body and consciousness can handle. It can’t be done all at once. It can’t be magicked away.
Telling them to go see a therapist to process it on their own, away from you, just blocks their flow more. Yes, they could see a therapist and get help. They could take more action to heal and be, what you consider, more responsible for their own healing. But remember they are not you. They are themselves and they need to find their own way.
Imagine how you would feel if you were in deep pain and someone told you to basically go away and only come back when you are in a good mood? You would feel unloved, uncared for and you would rebel because it doesn’t feel right. You may get angry, stubborn and dig your heels in. The choice the other has made makes it less likely you will get help and it distracts you from feeling the deep pain because now you are preoccupied with being treated unfairly by one of the few people who you do trust and love and their reaction has you wondering whether or not that trust is unfounded.
As a partner it is true, you don’t want to be dragged down by a friend, family member or your partner’s bad moods. It can affect your ability to enjoy your own life. But it is probably only occurring occasionally and you too have the occasional bad day. How would you feel if they pulled away from you when you are feeling blue? It would hurt, wouldn’t it?
What you really need at those times is a hug, is for someone to say “I’m sorry you are feeling sad, angry, whatever it is.” “I’m sorry you went through that, it has affected you deeply.” That is what the person needs most – to be loved, accepted, their feelings validated. They need to be heard.
You don’t have to sit with them for hours listening to their story. You could, but you don’t have to. Just be supportive. Don’t make them feel wrong, bad, dumb for being upset. They have a right to feel the way they do. They may have lived through horrible circumstances.
Instead of hiding from the pain, honour it, allow it, accept it and let it transmute. When you fight against it, resist it, bottle it up, it has to explode out. If you give the person the space to feel how they feel it can come out more gently. So just love them, that is what is needed most. And what you need most is to support yourself, while you are supporting them. So you don’t become depleted, drained, and exhausted.
Sometimes it can feel as if being there for another drains all your positive energy away, you feel your vibration dropping, you feel yourself becoming annoyed, exhausted and flat. This is just your reaction to them. It is how you have chosen to respond.
It may be you have reacted in fear – fear of their sadness or rage. It may be that you have reacted judgementally – thinking they shouldn’t do this to you or they should sort themselves out. You may have reacted with avoidance – wanting to escape and not be there. Any of these reactions create pain inside of you, and it is your pain that affects your energy levels, not what the other person is doing, saying or the energy they are emitting.
If you could meet their pain with love, if you could stand strong and shine your light into their darkness, if you could hold your focus on love and light and seeing the best in them, seeing them peaceful and happy, if you can just be with them and their energy and emotion, then your light would help liberate them. They could be freed from some of their burdens and you could maintain your vibration and state of peace.
It is your internal reactions that affect how you feel after the interaction. So don’t hide or run away from people and isolate yourself. There is no need. Just work on being able to stay connected to Source while dealing with someone in emotional pain. Breathe deeply and stay present. Send love and light to your inner child and any parts of you that feel uncomfortable, tell yourself you are safe and it is okay. You can do all of this, while still being present for the other person.
If you are struggling to stay present to others look at how well you are being present to yourself. Are you exhausted or stressed yourself? If so do the work to look after your own needs so that you have more energy and can be more present.
Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) is a powerful process you can use to help release stress, tension and trauma from your body. By doing so your nervous system relaxes more enabling your body to be calmer, be able to interact with others more playfully as you know you are safe and you feel more peaceful inside. This helps you to stay grounded, to be in your body and able to stand strong in the face of another’s turmoil. By clearing out the stress within you, it gives you more capacity to deal with whatever life brings you. You don’t get shoved into overwhelm as easily. It is well worth using TRE to support yourself and enable you to more easily stay present to those in your life who you care about and want to be supportive of.
Remember they are in pain, they are struggling to cope. They need your support and light to help lift them out of their darkness. Don’t trap them in it by refusing to be present, to look at their pain. Be there. Be strong and loving and supportive to both of you.
A time will come when the tables are turned and you will need their support, you will need them to be there for you. Be that support for each other and your relationship can blossom and flourish. Fight against their pain and your relationship will wither and die.
Know that they are so much more than their pain. The pain is just a small part of who they are and it will get less and less if it is acknowledged, accepted and allowed to be there. Fight against it and it will get bigger, louder and more violent in its ways of getting attention and trying to get respect and acceptance. The choice is yours.
Work on your own reactions and choose peace and love and joy in the face of another’s pain, hold the vibration of love and you can stay balanced, even in the murkiest, darkest waters of Hell.
For that is where a person is, who is in deep emotional pain. They feel consumed by it, trapped by it, unable to break free from it. They feel in Hell and if their thoughts plummet and become negative, it becomes a repetitive loop.
They feel like they are floating in a small boat, down rivers of darkness, with no knowledge of how to get out or where they are going. They need someone to shine a light for them, so they can see more clearly a direction out of the caves of darkness and into the light of day. Be that light. Be that love and you can both enjoy life at deeper levels. Blessed BE, Amen.
In this video, Jodi-Anne explores ‘What to do when those you love are in pain?’ It is one of over 100 questions she has asked about life and channelled an answer through automatic writing. All of these answers to questions about life, how to live peacefully and happily are available for free on the ‘Life Insights‘ page of her website.
When life has been challenging and you’ve experienced multiple disappointments it can be hard to believe that it can get better. Your past experience is that it doesn’t and you can lose hope and faith in a more positive future. In this video, Jodi-Anne explores ways to move out of disappointment and feeling stuck, so that you can enjoy life more.
In this video, Jodi-Anne explores ‘How do you let go of disappointment and expect the best?’ It is one of over 100 questions she has asked about life and channelled an answer through automatic writing. All of these answers to questions about life, how to live peacefully and happily are available for free on the ‘Life Insights‘ page of her website.
Hi all, I hope you are all enjoying this beautiful weather. In case you’re not here is a video exploring ways to support yourself when you’re feeling broken and lost.
In this video, Jodi-Anne explores ‘What to do when you feel broken?’ It is one of over 100 questions she has asked about life and channelled an answer through automatic writing. All of these answers to questions about life, how to live peacefully and happily are available for free on the ‘Life Insights‘ page of her website.
Here’s a video exploring how to accept where people are at. We all have different levels of emotional and spiritual awareness. We are all healing and evolving at a rate we can handle. When those you love appear to be in a different place to you it can be tempting to rescue them or judge them as less aware, but that isn’t helpful or even true.
From a larger perspective, some of us can be very egotistical about spirituality and what we think is right. Each person has to find their own truth, their own way to their heart and to live from that space. The best thing we can do to help is to focus on love and acceptance, coming from our own hearts, so that we are anchoring that vibration for the benefit of all.
In this video, Jodi-Anne explores ‘How do you accept where people are at?’ It is one of over 100 questions she has asked about life and channelled an answer through automatic writing. All of these answers to questions about life, how to live peacefully and happily are available for free on the ‘Life Insights‘ page of her website.
This short video explores how to move through depression and find peace. It looks at why it can be so hard and ways to support yourself as you heal and find peace. I hope you find it useful. Many blessings, Jodi-Anne
When your early life was full of fear and tension, you brace yourself for the next fight, the next bout of anger that gets taken out on you or your family. You live frozen in fear ready to detach, fight, flee or hide. You live braced for anger and you lose your ability to relax and have fun.
This is the legacy of being raised in an abusive home filled with violence, be that physical or emotional or both. You freeze inside. Your energy is tied up with protecting yourself and those you love. It is focused on ways to escape or avoid the worst situations you fear. You scan for ways out or ways to diffuse the bomb so explosions don’t occur.
All this fear, all this tension, makes it hard to relax and have fun. That doesn’t even enter your mind. You are exhausted from being on watch, on guard duty, helping yourself and your loved ones survive.
As you grow this pattern becomes ingrained – a strong sense of responsibility, of duty, of action to protect self and others pervades all you do. You can become over serious and focused on work or your chosen cause that you fight for – whether that be protecting children, the planet, animals or some other group that you feel is being exploited and abused.
You can become so focused on your duty and responsibility that you forget to actually live your life. You feel it is so important to keep going, keep trying, keep doing ‘what is right’, what is needed.
But in doing this you are depleting your energy reserves. You are being sucked dry of all your vitality, your joy and your enthusiasm. Eventually you will give up, it will all seem too hard, and then you collapse, exhausted, burnt out and wondering why life is so hard.
Life isn’t that hard. You’ve made it hard by driving yourself relentlessly on a cause that doesn’t need your energy. You alone do not need to save the world, the children, the poor, animals, etc.
You do not need to sacrifice your life in order to help others. You are allowed to play and have fun.You have just forgotten how to. It is such a foreign concept for you. You don’t even know where to begin.
There are so many fun things you could do, but they seem like a waste of time, unimportant or too much effort. This is just your conditioning, your habit, your fear of relaxing, being vulnerable and feeling what is underneath your compulsion.
You are not going to die just because you slow down. You are not going to be crushed by the emotional pain inside or the abuser who may no longer be present in your actual life. He is just in your head, your thoughts, your self-critical or abusive voice telling you off inside. You are not at war any more. It is okay to put the guns down. It is okay to rest and enjoy life.
This is the challenge now – to relax, to enjoy life, to find the passion and joy that you had as a child and buried when pain took over.
You have to let your true, original-self back out. This part of you may have been buried so long you don’t even recognise it as part of you anymore. It may be so deeply repressed and depressed that it takes a while to find it, to get to know it, to believe it is okay to have fun.
This is the inner work and healing you need to do in order to enjoy your life. You have to work with these inner parts and defense mechanisms to dismantle the armour, so you can relax and be free to enjoy your life.
Just being aware of it, of facing the truth of what is occurring in your life helps. It helps loosen the ropes, so you can go within to untangle yourself and free yourself from the inner prisons you have been trapped inside. This all takes time. And it takes a willingness to surrender your roles and responsibilities. A willingness to let go of focusing on helping others, the planet, animals, etc and honouring yourself – making yourself the priority, believing it is okay to do it, that you deserve it and that it is safe to look underneath the facade of your life to the deeper processes at play.
You don’t need to spend years analysing yourself or locked away doing healing processes. This is another distraction, another trap that can become all consuming, tiring and even exhausting if you do too much.
Your body needs time to integrate the shifts and changes. It will tell you when something is needed – be that healing work, rest, changes to diet, etc. If you listen your body will tell you what is needed. It will help you move forward.
When your body trusts you to listen, it will let baggage surface at a rate it can handle, for you to heal the issue and make the necessary changes to your beliefs, habits and thinking patterns. It will guide you to what you need at the rate you can handle it.
You don’t have to search for issues to heal. You don’t need to avoid life by focusing on healing or on rescuing others. You don’t need to avoid yourself and your life out of fear or emotional pain.
Sit with yourself. Sit with what arises. Feel into it. Breathe through it and let it shift. You don’t have to run away from it any more. Let yourself be. Let your self be still and absorb the healing energy of nature, of love, of friendships, of fun activities and playfulness.
Let the seriousness go and let life lead you forth. In time you will learn how to play again. It will just happen spontaneously as you slow down, relax and trust life to lead you forth with ease and grace to your destined future. You can’t get it wrong. You don’t need to figure it out, solve it or make it happen. You just need to relax, unwind and listen within.
Let it happen naturally and peacefully. It doesn’t have to be war like any more. Let the war go and know that you’re perfectly okay. It’s just habits to let go of.
If you have a very strong, determined mind, you have to detach from it and focus on your heart, your body, and listen to what they need. They can lead you forth. Send love to your mind and ignore its suggestions, it’s have to’s and must do’s. Let go of its priorities and to do lists and just BE.
Listen into your heart, your inner child and let them speak softly to you about what they would like from you. Re-establishing these connections, the ability to be peaceful and at rest in your body. These are what lead to inner joy and freedom to be playful. It is an inner stance; an inner way of being that is then easily translated into living life with love, joy, fun and vitality.
While you are still standing there frowning with seriousness or angry that it seems so hard or furious because it should be easy. Any of these just block your peace. Of course it looks silly to play or relax when you are wound so tight you are about to explode.
Find a way to soften. Find what works for you: being in nature, gardening, being with kids, pets, or friends, doing art or music or exercise. Find whatever way in works to get you to let go of control and surrender into softness. Bodywork, massage, etc can help, as can a relaxing bath, a piece of chocolate cake or lemon tart – anything that brings joy more to the surface, so the serious you steps aside, retreats back into the background, allowing you the chance to experience another aspect of life.
You can do it. It is happening already, just you judge it because you would like it all fixed now, thank you very much! This is a process. It takes time. It takes patience and kindness. Frustration, impatience and judgement just slow it down. Be kind to yourself and others as they unravel their armour, their conditioning and their way of seeing life.
It is a complete personality shift to let go of being so serious, fighting for a cause, and sacrificing who you are and your life for a valid reason. To see that it is all a choice, to see that it has been used as a way to escape or avoid being vulnerable and taking risks. It is hard to look at all of this, for your very foundations are being shaken.
God does not require you to self-sacrifice to fight any battle. God just wants you to evolve into a God-like being of love, kindness and peace, sharing these energies wherever you go. How you choose to live your life doesn’t matter. When you have this inner peace and love inside it touches everyone you interact with. Your light shines out positively affecting all. You don’t have to effort it, force it. It just happens.
You don’t have to make yourself the best you can be. STOP. Stop this. Just relax and be you. All of us are good people. All of us are innocent, kind and loving underneath our wounds. We just have to drop below the surface and reconnect to our innate qualities, our true self.For that is already a beautiful child of God. We don’t have to improve that. We can’t. It already is perfect as it is.
Each of us truly is okay, truly is enough. We are just learning to accept that, to believe that and to love our self and others in a way that we all can relax and just BE, knowing we are okay and we can choose to enjoy life, have fun and play. No seriousness needed. Trust life to lead you forth, to guide you to your passion and your joy.
No need to try to figure it out. Just relax and BE. That is all that is needed. Drop the judgement, the trying, the forcing and just allow. Allow life to happen – in all its glory and majesty, and in all its boredom and stagnation. These are just phases you move through, like the ocean waves. There are highs and lows. There can be intensity and calmness, even flatness. These are all just phases. None are better than the other. When the time is right the winds of change will blow and move you into the next phase of your life.
So relax, let go and BE. It doesn’t have to be so challenging. Put your feet up. Read a book. Watch a movie. Go for a walk. Cook some food. Enjoy life in its simplicity and its day to day tasks. All can be enjoyed if you see it this way. Blessed BE. Amen.
If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)
To stop reacting from the past you need to let go of old hurts and realise that the actions today are not related to the past. The person with you today is not the person from the past. They do not think, react or explode like the person in the past. Any similarities are there as triggers to help you release your past residue. They may have some similar traits, but it is not the same.
In the past when you were hurt so deeply it was because you were a child and felt helpless to control or shift what was occurring. You couldn’t escape the pain unfolding in your childhood home. You couldn’t leave. You couldn’t heal the adults or talk them into a better feeling state. No matter what you did to make life better – being quiet, cleaning up, being funny or cute or getting good grades. No matter what you tried you couldn’t shift what was going on inside the adults involved. It was up to them to heal themselves, to take responsibility for what was occurring and to do something about it.
Likewise, if you are still expecting the worst, reacting to your partner or others as if they are that past person, then it is your responsibility to shift the feelings and patterns inside yourself.
Your partner is allowed to behave the way that he or she does. They are allowed to have their ups and downs, their challenges and time required to find a way through them. They are allowed to be human and imperfect. They are allowed to be who they are with their quirks, habits and abilities – good and bad.
As long as they are not abusing you or being mean to you, you have no reason to truly be upset with them. It is not their fault that you fear the worst. It is not their fault you expect World War III whenever they get a little upset. It’s not their fault if you misinterpret their reactions and feel unloved, ignored or left behind. It is not their fault what is going on inside you. That is your area of control and responsibility.
Let the person off the hook. They haven’t done anything wrong. They are just being themselves and you are triggered by some of their behaviour. The trigger is in you and it is occurring to help you see there is some wounding in you that needs to be seen, felt and released.
So thank the person for showing you your route to freedom – they have shown you where you need to focus your healing energy, so that you don’t automatically react with fear around them or others, so you don’t live on egg shells waiting for the walls to crumble, so you don’t live tensely waiting for the moment to run and hide.
That high level of preparedness, of reactivity, is bad for your health. It not only impacts your ability to enjoy life. It impacts your immune system and digestion, and many other bodily functions. Instead of being in rest and digest mode (parasympathetic nervous system), you are in fight, flight or freeze (sympathetic nervous system) with adrenaline and cortisol pumping through your body. Blood is diverted from your organs and into your periphery, your muscles so that you can react instantly.
You need to calm your body down. You need to come out of hyper-alertness, hypervigilance and relax.Easier said than done! There is an alarm going off in your head shouting “Danger, war. React”. But really there is no danger, no war. No need for overreaction.
The work that needs to occur is inside you. It is not your partner’s responsibility to fix what is inside you or to not trigger you. If the pain is inside you then you will get triggered. Even if they altered their behaviour you will get triggered by something else because the pain is inside you.
Leaving, being on your own, isolating doesn’t resolve the pain. It just avoids it, delays its resolution. So it is best to stay and face it, unless the relationship truly is toxic and abusive, then you should leave for your sake and your children’s. But if there is love, if there is tenderness, closeness, compassion – some of the time – then the relationship is a beneficial one.
It will never be perfect, no relationship is. Each person is here to evolve and grow, so they will have times of feeling stretched, triggered, lost and despairing.
It is the path to freedom – to feel these things and move through them. That’s the challenge to move through it so you’re not constantly reacting the same way to the same thing.
When triggered remind yourself this is not the past, this is not the same, this is not my parent or whoever it was who did abuse you in the past. Remind yourself I’m not a little child anymore. I do have power. I do have choice and I choose to support myself through this reaction. I recognise this is my stuff. It’s not about the current person and his actions and reactions. He/she is okay and probably doing the best they can right now, same as me. I’m going to honour us both.
I’m going to sit and breathe and let these feelings flow out of me. I’m going to do whatever I need to, in order to honour myself and my body and balance back up. I’m not going to beat myself up for reacting.
I’m going to speak softly and soothingly to the younger part of me who is hurting and hug them, hold them, comfort them, help them to let go of the past pain and see that it’s okay now. It’s safe to relax and have fun. I’m going to invite that younger part of me to rest in my arms, or a garden, or a fun place in my heart; to see that they are cared for and loved, and safe and protected. That’s my job as the adult that I now am. I need to look after me, so that I do feel safe and can let go of the past.
What happened in the past is not occurring now, but it feels like it is as the trauma is still present in my body. I have to help my body let it go and I do that by being kind and gentle with myself, and my partner or whoever it is that has triggered me.
I am the one who got triggered. Therefore it is me who needs to do something to feel better. It is not about them changing. It is about you altering your inner reactions so you do not trigger so easily. So stop blaming, judging or condemning the other person, and focus on healing your inner world.
Do what is needed to soothe your body – spend time in nature, have a bath or foot soak, have a massage or other form of body work, rest, draw or write to shift the energy out, relax, rest, meditate, listen to soothing music, smell relaxing smells – essential oils, incense, cooking. Do whatever you need to do to look after you.
And know that each time it happens you are letting go of the old so you can be present to the now, to be here now, not dragging along the past in your back pack or body. In this sense it is good that you got triggered, so you can clear out more of the past stuck within you.
You may resent the fact it is still occurring, but the truth is it needs to occur to help you heal, to give you the opportunity to honour yourself. And the more pain you went through, the more there is to be released. It just is what it is.
Don’t fight against it. Don’t resent it or the other person – that just prolongs it. Do what you need to do to find peace. That is the most useful thing to do. There are many tools and techniques you can use to release stress and trauma out of your body, but listening to and honouring your body and its’ reactions is a very, very good start and it is free. There is no need to see a practitioner, unless you want to or feel that you need help to build the skills to self soothe.
Whatever you do, choose peace and kindness for yourself and the others involved. Each is doing the best they know how with their current mindset and feelings. Each is serving the other with what gets triggered and each can help the other as they move through their releases by just being there and accepting the process.
No one needs to be rescued. Just seen, loved and accepted as they are. Give each other that gift and in time you will blossom.
This is just residue releasing so that you can be more present to enjoy the now together or apart. It matters not. Free the space within you, so love can fill up the space previously occupied by hurt, loss, disappointment or grief. Let it go and let love fill the space. You can you know. It is worth the time and effort to do it, so you can enjoy life more. Blessed BE. Amen.
If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)
Many of you live inside your minds disconnected from your bodies. You eat, you sleep, you do all that you do without much feeling or awareness of what is truly going on inside you. Your body may be screaming at you saying “I need rest” or “I need exercise”, but you don’t hear it. You are too busy rushing from one task to another or numbing out so you don’t feel your unhappiness with your life.
Some people numb out with food, others alcohol, work, computer games, Facebook, etc – anything that helps you escape and not have to look too deeply at what is going on inside, behind the curtain so to speak.
Your body has great wisdom to share with you, but most people have learned to ignore it. They don’t want to acknowledge they are unhappy with their work or their relationship. They don’t want to face the consequences of that truth as it is scary to contemplate changing jobs, leaving a marriage or following your passion in a different direction.
The loss of security, certainty, safety feels too threatening, so we eat or drink or do whatever action we need to distract our self from that niggling sensation inside and the truth of our being. If we disconnect completely we die, so most of us maintain a minimal connection. We can feel a little, but avoid feeling a lot.
Some have dissociated from their bodies due to trauma. It is like they float above and outside of the body, connected by a thread, just watching, waiting for the next traumatic experience. Such a person lives in fight, flight, freeze, flop. They are rarely relaxed or enjoying life. Their life force energy is used up by the hypervigilant nervous system constantly scanning for danger. Such a person is hardly connected to their body at all and can let bad things occur without feeling it.
They may eat to excess to the point of becoming obese. They may have sex with strangers and not really be present during it. They may walk into the path of oncoming traffic without realising they have done so. When you’re not in your body you are risking your health in more ways than one.
Eventually the body will get sick. How sick depends on your fate and your determination not to listen to the body’s messages. If you constantly ignore your intuition or your truth that you are unhappy in some way, then your body has to ramp up the message so you will listen.
It tries many ways, but if you refuse to hear then illness, accidents, near death experiences may occur to get you to stop and pay attention. Much better to face the truth before then, to listen to your body, to ground within it and become at peace with yourself and your life.
Many people feel helpless to change their circumstances, hence they avoid it. Start by just acknowledging what is– “I don’t like where I’m living or what I’m doing. I’m lonely and scared. I hate myself and what I’ve become ……” It may not be that severe, it may only be “I wish I hadn’t done X,Y,Z. If I hadn’t I would be in a better position now. If only I had…..”. Any of these types of regrets, resentments, self loathing will lower your energy and if the pain is too great you will numb out in some way.
It is like our bodies are full of ice. All that unmoving emotion frozen within. To start thawing it out we need to acknowledge it exists. “Yes, this is how I’m feeling. I don’t know what to do about it yet, but this is how I’m feeling”. To even just admit that helps so much. It may let you breathe a bit deeper, to see within a little more.
Then you can consider options. “I’m not ready to make a massive change in my life yet. I know I could, but I’m going to be kind to myself and take it slow. I’m going to support myself as I learn how to respond to this and as I listen for insight and guidance as to the next best steps for me to take”. Become your own best friend.
Slow down and give yourself a chance to rest, to integrate and strengthen. Spend time in nature and let it soothe you, replenish you, guide you. Pray and ask for guidance and support from God or your Higher Self, your Guides of Angels. Who or whatever you are comfortable connecting with. For some people that may be Mother Earth or a deceased loved one who they love and trust.
Your ancestors are around you in spirit form. They do connect with you and you can gain strength and support from them. Just welcome them into your heart. Ask them to hold you and guide you. There is so much support available to us from life. We just have to ask and allow it in. Simply close your eyes and ask your ancestors to be with you. Sense them nearby, talk to them, let yourself see them, feel them, hear them. You can and it is good for you. Anything that helps your heart open and your mouth smile is beneficial.
Trust in life and your process. It is okay to go slow.Nature shows us the passing seasons and cycles. It takes time to grow. There’s a time for stagnation, for the shoot to emerge, for the plant to grow and strengthen, for the flower to bud, blossom, wilt and die. There is a time for the seed to fall, to hibernate, to germinate and for the cycle to repeat itself with new growth and life.
We humans want it all to happen now. We expect life to be all okay, all happy right now thank you very much. That’s not how life works. We have spent a lifetime, if not more, partially disconnected from our bodies. It is going to take time to reinhabit them, to melt the ice, to feel the feelings, to honour our truth and find the courage to act upon it. See what is involved. See that all you need to do is take baby steps and let the process occur.
Your body wants to be healthy and happy. Your soul wants you to grow and evolve. It will give you the insights and guidance you need. You just have to be willing to face your truth and take baby steps towards your goal.
You don’t need to figure it out with your mind. Let your mind rest. Let life force flow to the rest of your body. Your mind doesn’t have to work so hard. It’s actually not in charge. It thinks it is. The ego wants it to be. But your body is much, much more powerful and it will win out.
No matter how much you study, learn, succeed or achieve, your body will make you stop and listen. That’s why so many over achievers have heart attacks or other physical challenges. They love their mind, but ignore their body. Until one day the body says “Enough, pay attention to me”. It is a little like a child’s tantrum, but it is an important one, a life threatening or empowering one, depending on which way you look at it.
Many people think of their body as failing them, as the enemy, as an annoying nuisance interrupting their plans. This is foolish. You are your body, it is you. You need to accept this and honour all of you. It’s not selfish to take good care of you. You need to do it. Then you can make a more whole-hearted contribution to society. You can take heart-felt sustainable action that fulfils you, strengthens you and brings you joy. You do this by embodying all of who you are.
It’s time to embrace your body, to anchor within, and to listen to your Soul. Listen and you will be guided forth as to what is most needed. That may be rest, stillness, play and fun. For many that seems pointless, a waste of time. It’s not. Your body needs time to replenish, to strengthen and heal.
Often the answer to a problem will intuitively come once you’ve stopped focusing on it and struggling to find it with your mind. Let go of control and feel, play, have fun. It is just as important for your health if not more so than the food you eat.
You can eat the healthiest food, but if you are disconnected from your body, it doesn’t benefit from the nourishment you have given it. Even vitamin tablets may not be absorbed fully if your focus is in your mind or outside of yourself. You can literally be starving yourself by your thinking and actions that are negative for the body.
It’s time for us to realise we have a new task, a new baby or pet or responsibility to take care of and it requires a lot of our time and attention. When we do give to it and love it, we blossom. We need to honour our bodies, our whole self – just like a baby or child in our care. It is that precious, that dependent on us, that important. We have to give to ourself that same love, care, devotion and attention.We deserve it, for each of us is a precious child, a precious Soul living life the best way it knows how.
It’s time to simplify our ambitions and to focus on living life honouring our self, our needs and opening our hearts to see where life wants us to go, not where we think it should be. Just be yourself, anchor into your body and let yourself move forth with love for self, others and the planet who supports us. When we anchor into our hearts we will be much more nourished and fulfilled. It is safe for you to do so, to be in your body and your heart. Comfort yourself like you would a scared child, for that is what you are.
Comfort yourself and see the inner ice melt and fall away. Let the light in, let the warmth of the sun fill you with more vibrant energy and sing your way through life listening to the information in the wind that blows inside and outside of you. That is how you anchor into your body and your life. Blessed Be. Amen.
If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)
To be authentic means to be honest and show all of who you are to the world.You don’t pretend to be perfect or to have it all together. You show your humanness – your strengths, your doubts, fears and messiness. You show it all, accepting this too is part of who you are.
You don’t need to parade your weaknesses around. You just don’t actively hide them.You are not embarrassed about them. They are simply areas of your personality that have not yet healed into wholeness, into love and peace. They are your growing edge, your next steps. And it is wonderful that you are seeing them, acknowledging them, loving and accepting them, because then they can shift and dissolve.
Life is not as harsh as many think it is. These aspects surface to be released, to be felt into completion. If you willingly feel it, face it, breathe into it, acknowledge any earlier memories associated with it, love the younger part of you involved and bring it into your heart, then it dissolves, the pain goes.
It is only when we try to ignore it that it stays or gets louder, so we will look at it and hopefully embrace it. If we do, the shifting can be easier and we won’t need to attract people or situations to trigger us on that issue.
If you don’t heal the betrayal inside you, you will attract someone to betray you, so you feel those feelings and can heal. It happens to help you heal. But often us humans don’t realise that. We think the person hurting us is bad, broken, evil, unkind or unaware.
We think we are bad, broken, a victim, that life is unfair and cruel, and people can’t be trusted. This is all just wounding to be healed.
We are all innocent, all pure, and all capable of goodness and love, as it is our core nature. We are just clearing out density, so we can embody the light.
So if you have a habit or a thinking pattern or defensive mechanism that you are ashamed of, let go of the judgement. It’s just a habit to break.
Love and accept yourself, see what is going on, and be kind to yourself. Embrace yourself like you would if it was a child hurting, because it is. It’s your inner child, your younger self that needs help to let go of the hurts.
When you can look at it like this, it is easier to see there is nothing ‘wrong’ with you, nothing to hide. You are just a work in progress, we all are. We are all working towards wholeness – where we accept ourselves and others, and flow with life in loving and peaceful ways.
We all have aspects of ourselves that need upgrading or healing. We each have those annoying thought patterns or habits. Love yourself anyway. Be who you are. It’s okay to be you exactly as you are.
You don’t need to hide, or pretend to be better than you are, or hide how you are feeling to please another. You don’t have to pretend to be something you are not, or alter yourself to fit in with the crowd.
Be who you are and shine. Be who you are and love and accept yourself. When you do you will attract others who are also being authentically themselves, and you can enjoy life together, acknowledging each other’s gifts and areas for growth.
We all want to be seen as we are, to be loved and accepted. We just fear we will be rejected, seen as not good enough. If you have these fears it shows you a part of you is still hurting from past experiences. Go inside and heal that part, help it to let go of its pain. Listen to it. Embrace it. Breathe with it while it releases its emotions. Let it be healed by golden and rainbow light. Give it a place in your heart. Accept it and love it and the wound will disappear.
For it is your own love and acceptance you have been craving. When you give it, it is easier to be yourself and show it to the world, as you know you are okay. Even if someone does reject you or is cruel, it won’t destroy you. Just feel any emotional reaction and send love, knowing their reaction is about them and their inner state of pain or turmoil. It is not really about you.
When you are authentically yourself your energy levels rise, as you are no longer wasting energy hiding, or trying to figure things out, or guessing at what other’s want. You can just be yourself, smile and ask for what you want, trusting others to do the same.
You take responsibility for living your life peacefully and lovingly, doing kind acts wherever you go – when you want to, and when you don’t want to, you don’t. You can do whatever you feel like as long as it isn’t hurting anyone else. When we each take responsibility for balancing our own lives we will have fuller energy cups. We won’t be depleted. We won’t be exhausted trying to give from an empty cup. Instead we will overflow from fullness and joy.
It will be easy to give and have a positive impact as our energy field is clear and radiant. That is what it means to be authentically yourself, shining your light for all to see. No need to hide who you are.
You are a beautiful child of God, a masterpiece, just chipping away the rough edges to reveal the beautiful statue within the stone. It takes eons to wear away those rough edges. So be proud of them and of your progress.
No need to be perfect. It’s okay to be flawed, to be human.We each have a different mix of density – pain, thoughts, and patterns. We are each a unique kaleidoscope of life experiences, and we each have beauty. See the love and accept who you are.
Show that to the world and celebrate who you are warts and all! We all make smelly poo and farts. We all have snot and pus when infected. We all lose hair and skin cells and bleed. We are all of this, as well as our smiles, our light, and our love. It’s time to embrace it all and just be yourself. So be it. Amen.
If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)
