Tag Archives: self transformation

How to anchor within your body?

Many of you live inside your minds disconnected from your bodies. You eat, you sleep, you do all that you do without much feeling or awareness of what is truly going on inside you. Your body may be screaming at you saying “I need rest” or “I need exercise”, but you don’t hear it. You are too busy rushing from one task to another or numbing out so you don’t feel your unhappiness with your life.

Some people numb out with food, others alcohol, work, computer games, Facebook, etc – anything that helps you escape and not have to look too deeply at what is going on inside, behind the curtain so to speak.

Your body has great wisdom to share with you, but most people have learned to ignore it. They don’t want to acknowledge they are unhappy with their work or their relationship. They don’t want to face the consequences of that truth as it is scary to contemplate changing jobs, leaving a marriage or following your passion in a different direction.

The loss of security, certainty, safety feels too threatening, so we eat or drink or do whatever action we need to distract our self from that niggling sensation inside and the truth of our being. If we disconnect completely we die, so most of us maintain a minimal connection. We can feel a little, but avoid feeling a lot.

Some have dissociated from their bodies due to trauma. It is like they float above and outside of the body, connected by a thread, just watching, waiting for the next traumatic experience. Such a person lives in fight, flight, freeze, flop. They are rarely relaxed or enjoying life. Their life force energy is used up by the hypervigilant nervous system constantly scanning for danger. Such a person is hardly connected to their body at all and can let bad things occur without feeling it.

They may eat to excess to the point of becoming obese. They may have sex with strangers and not really be present during it. They may walk into the path of oncoming traffic without realising they have done so. When you’re not in your body you are risking your health in more ways than one.

Eventually the body will get sick. How sick depends on your fate and your determination not to listen to the body’s messages. If you constantly ignore your intuition or your truth that you are unhappy in some way, then your body has to ramp up the message so you will listen.

It tries many ways, but if you refuse to hear then illness, accidents, near death experiences may occur to get you to stop and pay attention. Much better to face the truth before then, to listen to your body, to ground within it and become at peace with yourself and your life.

Many people feel helpless to change their circumstances, hence they avoid it. Start by just acknowledging what is “I don’t like where I’m living or what I’m doing. I’m lonely and scared. I hate myself and what I’ve become ……” It may not be that severe, it may only be “I wish I hadn’t done X,Y,Z. If I hadn’t I would be in a better position now. If only I had…..”. Any of these types of regrets, resentments, self loathing will lower your energy and if the pain is too great you will numb out in some way.

It is like our bodies are full of ice. All that unmoving emotion frozen within. To start thawing it out we need to acknowledge it exists. “Yes, this is how I’m feeling. I don’t know what to do about it yet, but this is how I’m feeling”. To even just admit that helps so much. It may let you breathe a bit deeper, to see within a little more.

Then you can consider options. “I’m not ready to make a massive change in my life yet. I know I could, but I’m going to be kind to myself and take it slow. I’m going to support myself as I learn how to respond to this and as I listen for insight and guidance as to the next best steps for me to take”. Become your own best friend.

Slow down and give yourself a chance to rest, to integrate and strengthen. Spend time in nature and let it soothe you, replenish you, guide you. Pray and ask for guidance and support from God or your Higher Self, your Guides of Angels. Who or whatever you are comfortable connecting with. For some people that may be Mother Earth or a deceased loved one who they love and trust.

Your ancestors are around you in spirit form. They do connect with you and you can gain strength and support from them. Just welcome them into your heart. Ask them to hold you and guide you. There is so much support available to us from life. We just have to ask and allow it in. Simply close your eyes and ask your ancestors to be with you. Sense them nearby, talk to them, let yourself see them, feel them, hear them. You can and it is good for you. Anything that helps your heart open and your mouth smile is beneficial.

Trust in life and your process. It is okay to go slow. Nature shows us the passing seasons and cycles. It takes time to grow. There’s a time for stagnation, for the shoot to emerge, for the plant to grow and strengthen, for the flower to bud, blossom, wilt and die. There is a time for the seed to fall, to hibernate, to germinate and for the cycle to repeat itself with new growth and life.

We humans want it all to happen now. We expect life to be all okay, all happy right now thank you very much. That’s not how life works. We have spent a lifetime, if not more, partially disconnected from our bodies. It is going to take time to reinhabit them, to melt the ice, to feel the feelings, to honour our truth and find the courage to act upon it. See what is involved. See that all you need to do is take baby steps and let the process occur.

Your body wants to be healthy and happy. Your soul wants you to grow and evolve. It will give you the insights and guidance you need. You just have to be willing to face your truth and take baby steps towards your goal.

You don’t need to figure it out with your mind. Let your mind rest. Let life force flow to the rest of your body. Your mind doesn’t have to work so hard. It’s actually not in charge. It thinks it is. The ego wants it to be. But your body is much, much more powerful and it will win out.

No matter how much you study, learn, succeed or achieve, your body will make you stop and listen. That’s why so many over achievers have heart attacks or other physical challenges. They love their mind, but ignore their body. Until one day the body says “Enough, pay attention to me”. It is a little like a child’s tantrum, but it is an important one, a life threatening or empowering one, depending on which way you look at it.

Many people think of their body as failing them, as the enemy, as an annoying nuisance interrupting their plans. This is foolish. You are your body, it is you. You need to accept this and honour all of you. It’s not selfish to take good care of you. You need to do it. Then you can make a more whole-hearted contribution to society. You can take heart-felt sustainable action that fulfils you, strengthens you and brings you joy. You do this by embodying all of who you are.

It’s time to embrace your body, to anchor within, and to listen to your Soul. Listen and you will be guided forth as to what is most needed. That may be rest, stillness, play and fun. For many that seems pointless, a waste of time. It’s not. Your body needs time to replenish, to strengthen and heal.

Often the answer to a problem will intuitively come once you’ve stopped focusing on it and struggling to find it with your mind. Let go of control and feel, play, have fun. It is just as important for your health if not more so than the food you eat.

You can eat the healthiest food, but if you are disconnected from your body, it doesn’t benefit from the nourishment you have given it. Even vitamin tablets may not be absorbed fully if your focus is in your mind or outside of yourself. You can literally be starving yourself by your thinking and actions that are negative for the body.

It’s time for us to realise we have a new task, a new baby or pet or responsibility to take care of and it requires a lot of our time and attention. When we do give to it and love it, we blossom. We need to honour our bodies, our whole self – just like a baby or child in our care. It is that precious, that dependent on us, that important. We have to give to ourself that same love, care, devotion and attention. We deserve it, for each of us is a precious child, a precious Soul living life the best way it knows how.

It’s time to simplify our ambitions and to focus on living life honouring our self, our needs and opening our hearts to see where life wants us to go, not where we think it should be. Just be yourself, anchor into your body and let yourself move forth with love for self, others and the planet who supports us. When we anchor into our hearts we will be much more nourished and fulfilled. It is safe for you to do so, to be in your body and your heart. Comfort yourself like you would a scared child, for that is what you are.

Comfort yourself and see the inner ice melt and fall away. Let the light in, let the warmth of the sun fill you with more vibrant energy and sing your way through life listening to the information in the wind that blows inside and outside of you. That is how you anchor into your body and your life. Blessed Be. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (12 August 2018).

  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)
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How do you go with the flow?

Going with the flow refers to letting life lead you forth. You let go of expectations, goals, focused achieving and you surrender to life and follow its cues and directions for you. It is letting your heart lead instead of your mind.

Some people baulk at this concept. They fear it means sitting around, wasting time, doing nothing. This can’t be further from the truth. When you surrender to life you will be guided forth to do what is needed for your highest good. This may mean facing past hurts and healing them so that you can become more whole and integrated, then the Universe will lead you forth to be of service in some way that benefits the whole.

There is no point in you trying to force and effort it before you are ready. It simply won’t work and you will exhaust yourself in the process. The emotional density and residue inside you will fight against what you are trying to achieve.

It would be like having your foot on the gas and the brake at the same time. You may make a lot of noise and smoke, but you won’t go far. When there is still residue inside it blocks you from achieving what you think you want from your mind. Your heart, your body knows whether or not your goal is good for you and if it’s not it won’t let you achieve it.

If your body is still full of fear or negative beliefs saying “You have to hide to stay safe. Stay small so no one sees you or hurts you” then of course you will self sabotage if you at the mind level try to go out and be seen and achieve some big goal.

The ego doesn’t like to go slow, but the truth is it will be much more effective to flow with life, to heal and integrate, and then step forth into the light for all to see.

Too many people push themselves way too hard. Then they burn out from exhaustion or depression and disappointment with life.

School teaches us about achieving, about careers and getting stuff, achieving materialistic success. They don’t teach about the dangers of focusing on that as a successful life.

Poor health, marital breakdown, obese lonely kids addicted to screens, alcoholism and violence associated with numbness from feeling life is too hard and it’s not worth all the effort, feeling life is meaningless and getting eventually bored and lethargic no matter which shiny new toy you buy – house, car, yacht, etc.

Life focused on materialism takes you away from your heart. It is all ego driven and that isn’t fulfilling ultimately. What is fulfilling is connection – connection with self, with God, with family and friends, with community – feeling like you belong, that people care about you, and that you matter to someone.

We are happiest when we feel loved and secure. When we can relax and just be, knowing all is okay and we are looked after. This comes from a life led by the heart, from flowing with the guidance that comes inside you those intuitive urges, random thoughts or insights that urge you to go somewhere or speak to someone that you hadn’t been thinking about doing.

It comes from the outside synchronicities and guidance that confirm your path or intuitive urge. You think about needing a massage and next thing you see a sign for a massage on your walk at lunch. Or you think about having a holiday and someone starts talking to you about the country you would like to go to.

The form of confirmations can be many. Sometimes a song comes on the radio with lyrics that touches your heart, a movie scene, a book. There are so many ways the universe gives us messages, encouraging us to flow down a certain path that is most in line with our highest good.

To me it is a little like those ‘Choose your own ending’ books that I had as a child. The signs are there to go a certain way, but if you don’t listen another set of signs comes along to guide you and another, and if you still don’t listen eventually it’s a car accident or a health scare or some other large event that makes you stop and think about how you are living your life. It happens to get you to reflect and choose differently. It is not random, it all has purpose.

Life orchestrates it all, so we get the input we need to help us along our destined path. When you relax and follow the signs life is a lot easier. You don’t need to use so much energy or fight to be seen or heard. You relax and trust that whoever is meant to see you or hear you will and that’s enough. You don’t have to achieve huge amounts or be a super star. You are enough just being you and doing what you love, living your life with kindness.

If you are intuitively guided to a large action packed life, so be it. But if you are intuitively guided to a simple and quiet life, that’s okay too. You may be in a phase of healing and integration. There may be a more outgoing phase later, but don’t covet it or thirst after it. Trust that what comes is what is needed for your highest growth and embodiment of the light this lifetime.

So going with the flow is not a passive nothingness, it is an active attention to the inner and outer signals guiding you forth as to what to do and when to do it. It is an active listening within and without for the guidance that may come from many different sources and in many different ways.

As you do this your intuition strengthens and you will get clearer and clearer signals. Sometimes, often, you will be asked to do something that is outside your comfort zone, that stretches you – you can resist out of fear or take the leap of faith trusting that you will be supported as you take the plunge into the depths of yourself and your purpose here on Earth.

You will experience exactly what you need for your evolution and growth. Life is leading us all forth, to achieve what matters most – insight and growth, connection with our heart, love, God and Mother Earth. We are all growing and evolving, and it is all happening as it needs to. Trust in that and flow with life. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (6 August 2018).

  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)

What to do when you feel broken?

There are days when you wake up and feel broken, like it is all too hard. Sometimes these will be rare and sometimes common. It just means you are in a process of change. Old muck is surfacing to be released – old pains, fears, doubts, disappointments and hurts. When this occurs it can feel like nothing is changing and life won’t get any better, but it already is better. You are just releasing the old, to see more clearly.

Your lives are okay as they are, it is your judgement of them that creates the pain. There may be things you would like to have change, this will occur in time, but dwelling on it, getting upset, angry or depressed about it, doesn’t resolve it in anyway. Feel and release the emotion, then take steps to create what you want – action is needed for change to manifest. Action on releasing your hurts, altering your thinking and action to change your every day habits and behaviours. If you always do what you have always done, is it surprising that you get the same outcome. Change is inevitable, it will come in small or large ways, chosen or forced on you by life events.

If you are feeling low, broken, sad, angry, hurt, know your body is asking for your attention, for your help to clear out the old and refill your body with lighter energy, a higher vibration outcome for all concerned.

If you are feeling so flat that you can’t be bothered doing anything, accept that and rest. Don’t fight it. If you are feeling lost and confused, wait for clarity, pray for guidance, meditate. There is no point trying to make a decision, it is not the right time. Wait for clarity to dawn, then act.

You can take baby steps towards improving your life, but in reality your life is okay, it is the way you are thinking about it, judging it that is causing you stress and anxiety. So what if you don’t love your job or you are alone or your friends don’t treat you the way you would like. Are you treating yourself kindly? lovingly? Work on your self first, on self love and when you anchor that in, you will see more goodness in the world and attract it in.

If you are exhausted, recovering from illness or a disappointment in life, of course you are going to feel flat. Don’t judge it, fight it, resist it. Accept it and honour your body’s needs. If it need rest, then rest. If it needs nourishment then eat some yummy, feel good, hopefully healthy food. If you need some fun, have it, even if it is just reading a comic or watching TV or chatting to a friend on the phone.

Do what you need to do to let your vibration rise and for you to start to feel better. A bath, a walk on the beach or out in nature will help wonders. Soothing music, candles, aromatherapy – lots can be done to life your mood simply and cheaply.

It is not always going to feel like this. Your body is processing past hurts and issues that you are remembering. If you are doubting your abilities, don’t wallow, find a way to build your skills if that is the issue, or to practice what you are concerned about, so that you feel more confident doing it. There’s always a way forward, you just have to be prepared to take it.

Choose kindness to yourself and others, and know that there is support around you at all times. Seen and not seen, physical and non-physical. There are beings of light watching over you, encouraging you, caring for you, holding your hand from afar. You can call on them, your ancestors and others who have passed over to assist you, support you, to hold you while you are feeling vulnerable. There is lots of support out there. Reach out for it when you need it and give it when you are feeling better. Everyone has their ups and downs, know it is just a phase and choose peace. Don’t fight against what is, just ease your way forward, helping your body in whatever way it needs. So be it. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (14 October 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

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Stop carrying responsibility for Mum and Dad’s issues – healing family trauma

Are the emotions you struggle with yours? Science has now shown how unfinished trauma is passed on genetically to future generations. We carry the wounds of our ancestors in an attempt to heal it. This process and ways to help release what you carry is explained in the attached article.

For example: Did your mom or dad reject their sadness and grief? Are you, or your kids, depressed or always grieving?

Did they hide or bury their anger? Are you or your children unusually angry, or did you choose an angry partner? Or perhaps you can’t access your anger at all, while feeling depressed and broken?

Did they disown their need for love and intimacy? Do you hunger for love and yet cannot find it?

Family systems seek wholeness by re-creating what was disowned by previous generations. These later generations (ours and our children’s) try to bring this wholeness by acting out rejected family aspects.

Family Constellation work shows us when these patterns run our lives and how to disentangle from them.

Why are we so impatient with our lives?

Many people are frustrated with their lives and the way it is unfolding. They believe it should be different – better, less painful, more enjoyable. They judge their life and what occurs in it.

The reality is life is occurring exactly as you need for your evolution and growth. The painful and disappointing elements occur to get you to release your buried emotions, to feel what is inside you, to drop from your head to your heart, to slow down and reconsider your choices in life.

Many of us operate on autopilot for the majority of the day and week. We do what we always do and then get what we always get. We don’t vary our routine very much. We don’t reach out and try something new, stretch beyond our comfort zone. We like it to be easy, known, safe.

Safe doesn’t result in growth if we are staying still. It does in the sense of us finally feeling safe enough to go within, listen to our heart and then take action based on our heart’s desires and longings. But we must take action, risk our comfort to speak up, act out, to do whatever it is we are here to do. Our heart guides us forth.

If we do not take action, if we continue to hide, life events will occur to force us out of our coccoon and to fly. The butterfly cannot hide away forever. It has to stretch out its wings and fly.

Life is just a series of events designed to help you fly – to heal, transform into your highest self and fly – be of service in some way that benefits you and humanity.

The greatness that is latent within you, is ready to burst forth when the timing is right. It is this potential that you sense, it is this that leads to the impatience – because you can sense your life has a significant purpose that you will fulfil. However, it will all happen in divine timing and you can’t escape the cleansing process that has to occur first.

You can’t hide from it, avoid it, pretend it isn’t needed. Life will force you to release those buried emotions – to feel the anger, sadness, betrayal, etc and release it. It is part of the process. You don’t get the glory without the fight – the allowance of the cleansing, the purging of the old, to make way for the light to fill the void.

The light is all around you, waiting patiently for you to clear out the denser energies and emotions inside you. Once you do the light floods in, your vibration rises and life proceeds in new ways, with new opportunities born of the new vibration.

You are a magnet attracting to you what you need to heal and grow. While you are filled with denser energies, you will attract dense and challenging situations to help you shift the energy, to feel and release it. The more you do so, the lighter you get energetically, internally and then you attract events, people that match that vibration.

Challenges still come to help you expand further, but they are not so devastating as you know how to feel the emotion, balance back up and move on. There is no longer a core vessel of darkness that matches the energy and keeps you stuck in it. It can just shift through and you move back into balance, joy and peace much quicker.

You sense what is possible, hence the impatience, but there are no shortcuts. You have to feel and release your emotional density. You have to go within and engage with your heart, the younger parts of you that are in pain, that feel burdened, that are operating your defense mechanisms and self protection processes. You need to meet with and engage with these, so they can evolve too. These parts of you need to see, to be shown that you are older and wiser now, that you will take care of yourself and choose loving responses to painful events, that you have the maturity to choose peace and love and do the right thing, to stand up for yourself when needed and to say no and have appropriate boundaries in place. Once these parts of you can see that you are now looking after you more effectively, they will relax, they will stop self sabotaging to protect you, to keep you small, safe and hidden.

While they are still in pain and doubt your abilities, they will step in to protect you – it may be ineffective and in some ways detrimental, but they are focused on your survival, not your joy or your current goals. They are focused on basic, core needs. And they will stay focused on that until they can see you have healed, and you help them to do so too.

All the annoying habits you have, reactions to life events, are just residual pain from the past that is rattling away inside of you. Heal it and those patterns will drop away. Change is possible and inevitable, life is guiding you forward. Your choices just effect how painful or blissful the process is.

Resistance keeps you in repeat mode – blaming, wishing it was different, numbing out with addictions and distractions – just keeps you on a repetitive loop. It is just a matter of time till the pain is too much and you choose to face it, work through it and heal yourself. It will happen, it is just a matter of when. And once it is done, you can have the joy and peace you have been longing for.

You can have the creative, vibrant life you desire. It is destined to be so, and it will occur. It is just a process we all go through, in order to allow life’s unfolding of our magnificence. The cleansing frees us to live our destined service, our greatness. The cleansing is necessary. See that and embrace it, not resent it. See that and relax into it, instead of fighting it, resenting it. See its purpose and be grateful, as the old releases, making way for the new. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (28 July 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

If you find this information useful consider donating to support the sharing of more useful information, even $5 is a great help.

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Why do we stay small?

There are many reasons for choosing to stay small – less risk, more comfort, safety from abuse or attack or ridicule, less effort required, less challenge faced. There are many reasons, but life won’t let you stay small for long. Outside events and inner forces will combine to propel you forward, to jettison you into the next greater version of yourself.

Life is about growth and expansion, it is about stepping beyond your comfort zone and doing what you love. To stay small is to shrivel and decay, to rot, to not grow and that is impossible.

Some stay small because that may have been a time when they received love, when life was simpler, less confusing. For others it was a time when they felt good things happened, when they trusted life and felt taken care of. There are many reasons people would prefer to stay child like or to bask in younger years, as opposed to truly being present and facing their now.

For many people the now is scary, too intimate, too confronting. To be fully present requires facing your feelings, acknowledging how you feel and if you are happy with your life. Much easier to be distracted, too busy, then you don’t have to think about it, feel too deeply into it.

Yes, let’s be busy, busy, busy – then we don’t notice our vitality and joy dropping, we don’t notice the stress building and ill health creeping in. Keep busy, busy, busy, with lots of noise and competing demands, that way you don’t have to face the truth of your life, your inner depths or your heart’s requests. So many people live like this.

Of course it is not ideal, but it is understandable, especially if you don’t feel you have any power to change things for the better. The truth is you always have the power to do so, just most don’t realise it or fear taking that first step into self leadership, self mastery, creating your life how you want it to be.

You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to decline that invitation and take time to rest. You are allowed to work less and live more simply. You are allowed to do what you want, not what is expected. You are allowed to honour yourself and do what you want. It is not selfish, not wrong. As long as you aren’t harming another, it is okay to choose self, to honour self. Our society would be a lot healthier if people did.

Because when you honour yourself and drop into your heart, what your heart wants is peace, harmony, stillness, connection, and love. The heart beats fast for love, for pleasure, for joy. It doesn’t have a selfish bone in its body, it is all about love and kindness for all. And when more people are resting in this state, there will be a lot less violence in the world. There will be a lot more sharing, compassion and understanding, a lot more assisting each other, accepting we are all the same race, the same species. We all suffer and go through loss and pain. We all grow and heal and need support. We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are. We all want to be seen and accepted, heard and valued, cared for and loved. That is our deepest need.

heart wateringMany hide because they fear it won’t happen – they won’t be loved or accepted, they will be ridiculed or hurt in a myriad of ways. But to hide keeps you stuck, small and hurting. To come out into the light of day enables change, enables freedom, enables peace. If you take the risk you will be guided forth to love and happiness. There will be obstacles to overcome along the way, but you will get there. You will find your tribe and your home, deep within your heart, connected to the mysteries of life and all that occurs here on Earth.

May we all stand up and shout “Here I am“. May we all be seen and valued. May those around us yell back “We see you and you are magnificent. Welcome home!” May we all find peace as quick as possible. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (24 January 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How to let go of disappointment and expect the best?

When a person has suffered many disappointments in life, they learn to switch off from life, from expecting good things or even believing it is possible for their life to work out okay. This is a self defense mechanism aimed to limit the pain received and protect from further disappointments.

But switching off from life, hope, faith is a disasterous thing to do, it is a giving up of life force energy, of joy, of hope, of happiness. It will inevitably lead to judgement, ridicule, low self-esteem, depression and feelings of unworthiness.

If the major traumas occurred when a young child, 0-7 years old, it is highly likely that a pattern of learned helplessness was embedded in the child’s unconscious and as an adult plays out constantly in all aspects of life, leaving the person feeling a victim, feeling unable to change anything and accepting life is always going to be this way.

With such pessimism life becomes drudgery, one boring or scary or threatening and dangerous day after another. It is easy to see why people may self medicate through addictions to avoid the emotional pain and sense of helplessness and hopelessness.

It is a cruel way to exist, it is a numbing out of life, a walking dead scenario, feeling as if there is no point in staying alive or trying to change anything, because it feels like it never works or changes, it never gets better.

This is a very painful place to be in internally, to feel this hurt and broken that you don’t know how to go on, how to survive, how to live. You give up trying and just survive one day at a time. Life is monotonous, bland, boring and suffocating. Sadly this is a common state of being for many people. Gladly, you don’t have to stay stuck in it.

You only feel so helpless because it is younger parts of you that got hurt and disappointed, whose pain is so high, that it is over ruling everything else. If you heal these wounds and help free your inner child or younger selves then that pain will not be your primary emotion or experience of life.

You the adult has every opportunity to make different choices, to have fun, to be positive and enjoy life. It is just hard to do when your vitality, your life force is stuck in the past, playing out a repetitive loop of negativity.

So how do you free yourself of the wounds? There are many ways that help. At this stage it is just important to know you can break free, that you can heal and that life can become better. To let a glimmer of hope exist.

Just because people in your past hurt you or disappointed you, doesn’t mean it has to reoccur over and over. If you heal the wounds you can flourish. You will no longer attract in that treatment as you will no longer be a vibrational match to it. Once you have released the pain, your body can relax, come out of fight or flight and shut down zombie mode. Life force energy can flow freely through your veins again, revitalising you to live life fully, embracing possibility and taking action to live your dreams, your greatest potential while here on Earth.

To achieve this the wounds must be healed, the emotional pain must be released / transmuted and your heart opened back up to allow love in, to trust and take action, to risk changing / trying something new and letting people close.

When people are closed down out of disappointment, it is like they have bolted the door, put up a security fence, have guard dogs snarling, attempting to keep out anything good from occurring, so that they will not be disappointed or hurt further.

People with good intentions attempt to come close and they are faced with snarling dogs, electric fences and machine guns aimed at them, as if they are the enemy, when all they want to do is love you. It takes a strong and determined person to persevere in this situation and say “Let me in, it is okay, you can trust me”.

Many just walk away, they see the wounding in the other, the closed door, so they turn away. Hence the hurt person ends up alone, isolated, desperate for attention, for love, but not allowing it. No wonder they feel so hopeless.

There is a war going on inside, keeping the goodness away. When someone does come close they can over react with anger, feeling like “How dare they expect me to let them in, how dare they expect me to take a risk”. You push the person away so hard.

Depending on how deep the wound will depend on how automatic this rejection process is. It can be so strong that rage is triggered and a feeling that you could set the person on fire because they have threatened you and your safety by daring to enter into your closed kingdom, and it literally feels like a threat to your existence. So sad when really the other is saying “Hello, do you want a friend? Do you want to play?”.

toddler-sulkingIt is like two young children meeting in a playground and the first person has planted their feet, crossed their arms, stomped on the spot and said “NO”, shouted “NO, you will not play with me, go away, leave me alone”. They are totally closed off in their tantrum about how they feel and what has occurred to them in life. Then they sulk, pout, kick and scream about how unfair it all is. Most of us can see this behaviour in toddlers, young children quite easily, but we fail to see that as wounded adults we are doing the same thing.

Life can’t change dramatically for the better unless you uncross your arms, suck in your bottom lip, and you open up to connection, to playing, to having fun. While you are shouting NO nothing much can change. So you have to be willing to lower the defenses, to open up to another way of being and to feeling and releasing the emotional pain underneath the wounds, then it dissolves, then you walk free of it and you can see the blue sky and sunshine and let it in, you can see the beauty in life and let yourself be replenished by it and experience good things and have your life work out more enjoyably.

It is clear that it is up to you to take action to heal the wounds. Noone else can do it for you. Even those brave souls who wear suits of armour and non-flammable overalls who come close wanting to help you move forward. Their efforts can only help if you let them in. If you keep shouting NO energetically or actually saying it through your words and actions, then their efforts can’t help.

It is up to you to take the risk to let life be different. You can do it and it is worth it, so worth it, to walk free from misery and enjoy life, to be pleasantly surprised by the mystery of life and finally see the goodness in all things. You can achieve this, simply by healing the past so it doesn’t cloud your future. It can be done and I and many others can help you do it, if you let us, if you open up and say “YES to life, YES I am willing to move forward and to risk being happy. YES I can do this, I will do this, I choose this”.

Then life will lead you forth to the right people, places, books, courses and whatever else you need that best suits you to help you heal and break free from the pain. It will be different for each person based on their current state of awareness, willingness, and ability to feel and release their pain. Some will need to do self-study at first, before they would be willing to risk seeing a therapist and trusting someone to help them move forward. Some may prefer talk therapy as they don’t yet feel safe enough to go into their bodies and feel what is there. Some may prefer to start with body work modalities to help the body relax and let go, preferring this as they are too scared to voice their concerns or speak the truth that they have tried to hide from their whole lives.

pathThere are many roads home, to healing, to your heart and wholeness. It doesn’t matter which road you take, what matters is your willingness to take a step forward into the unknown, into life being different. If you are willing, the Universe will meet you and guide you forth.

May you learn to run joyously along your path, knowing you are taken care of, and see the beauty of life and love all around you. For it is there just waiting for you to open your arms and embrace it. Life really is good once you heal your pain and can see more clearly. May you obtain inner peace as quickly and as easily as you can. With love, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (08 October 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Why do we inherit family trauma?

Trauma that cannot be processed by one family member, because it is overwhelming, they do not have the skills or knowledge of how to process it, or do not have the will to feel it and release it, will be passed on genetically to the next generation. It also of course affects the rest of the current generation due to the unavailability of the traumatised person who will be isolated within themselves, possibly numb emotionally and distant in their ineracting with others, be they their children or siblings.

Trauma stays within the body and freezes part of the person’s energy, it is literally stuck, frozen in time within them, locked into when the trauma occurred. It stays in the body until it is processed and if it is not processed then it remains locked in place, creating internal tension and dis-ease.

No individual wants this to occur or be passed on to their existing children or grand children. It is not an intentional thing, it is an automatic thing. If Dad has died in the war then Mum is going to be mourning, she is not going to be able to be present fully for the children or meet their emotional needs. The children will sense Mum’s pain and feel their own loss and mourning, so they will try to get Mum to feel better, so they can get the attention they need. If it doesn’t work they eventually give up trying and switch off, shut down emotionally, feeling empty, unloved, unsatisfied with life.

The pattern then repeats when they marry and try to get the attention they missed out on from their husband or wife. No matter how loving the partner is, they cannot make up for the emotional pain or love deficit from their partner’s childhood, so it will feel unloving or not enough. They may try hard to give enough, to do extra, be extra affectionate and giving, they may try to fill that hole in their partner. Eventually they realise no matter what they do it is not enough, it doesn’t work and they are exhausted from trying, so they switch off, shut down, isolate and become emotionally numb as well, so the pattern continues. No malice, no cruelty, just life when there is trauma within one or both partners in a relationship.

So how do you resolve it? By becoming aware of the trauma within, by creating a safe enough space that you can feel it, acknowledge it and let it dissolve. By seeing your defense mechanism and games you have used to protect yourself from it.

  • Have you kept yourself so busy that you can’t feel?
  • Have you been saving the world, feeling righteous putting all your energy into others or a cause, but neglecting yourself, avoiding yourself and your inner world?
  • Have you been pleasing others, doing for others, hoping that they will love and accept you and you will feel that you are okay, lovable and worthwhile?
  • Have you been isolating yourself from others, keeping a low profile, so as not to be seen or to avoid any possible further trauma? By being preoccupied with avoiding it, you stay stuck in it and will have difficulty exeriencing any joy in life.

There are many defensive mechanisms that people use to try and keep safe or to avoid their feelings. Looking good so to avoid rejection, fearing you won’t be accepted as you are, so you try to be, look, do everything perfectly. This is exhausting. It is no wonder people end up depressed or ill, their life force is being frittered away with fear and their over reactions to it.

To clear the trauma and stop passing it onto our kids we need to become emotionally aware and savvy in processing how we feel. Learn to go within and sit inside yourself, breathe, let the emotion surface and breathe through it, let it be released, felt into completion. It can’t be avoided. It has to be acknowledged and felt. Thank the defense mechanism for keeping you safe, but choose to be present for yourself and your inner child now.

happiness inside jobIt is this inner child part of you that needs your reassurance, your love, your acceptance. It needs you to become the good parent to yourself, to know that you will look after him/her and protect her, you wil be the Adult guardian she felt was absent in earlier years. As she feels safer and you feel and release the pain, you will find you are not triggered by life any more, you can live more in the now and be there for those you love. Your children, if you have any, will notice this shift, they will feel your presence and they will absorb your love, your attention, and you can meet their emotional needs, fill up their inner cup with love so it is overflowing, then they can acept themselves and enjoy their lives.

If their cup does  not get filled and they feel empty, forlorn, they will at a soul level choose to take some of your pain, some of your trauma so you feel better and then you might be able to love them more. They abandon themselves to care for you. This is a reversal of the orders of love and is damaging for all involved. Parents are meant to give and children receive. However, it is often reversed in many families when the parents are hurt, injured or unavailable, whether that be due to illness, addiction or absence.

Children try to make the parent happier, they may try to be neater or tidier, they may help out with the housework or try to cheer the parent up with jokes, they may try to steal the attention through getting into trouble to distract you from your pain or they may even sacrifice their own health, choosing to get ill so you will focus on them and not feel your own pain. Children are so loving, but this is not healthy behaviour.

In doing this chldren miss out on being kids, they grow up way too fast and this stunts their natural growth and emotional development. It locks trauma, pain and loss within them and so the cycle repeats. When they have their own children they will sense the parent’s pain and do the same thing, hence it passes through the generations. No malice, not deliberate, done out of love, of wanting to help and of not knowing how to heal the underlying issue of emotional pain and trauma.

Thankfully in today’s world we do have the knowledge of how to heal trauma, how to bring love back into the family system and to correct any reversals of flow, so that the younger generations can receive the love and support they need and deserve from the ancestors behind them.

Family Constellations and other methods can help individuals to heal their family systems, enabling hope and love to exist for all family members. There is much more that can be said about this in future blogs, for now this is enough, to understand that trauma passes through families until love is restored.

Each family member can find peace and happiness when the blocks to love are removed. It can be done, support is available and you can learn the skills to feel your emotions and release that which is locked away inside you. It is possible, it is worth doing and your children thank you, because then they don’t need to do it for you, the burden they carry for you is transformed, freeing them to enjoy their lives more. Such love, such loyalty, such strength and commitment to each other, that is what families are about and it is beautiful. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (10 September 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Why are families so disconnected?

Some are and some are close, still maintaining a heart to heart connection between family members. In today’s world people are very busy, achieving, being better than others, obtaining things / material objects. These advances in gadgets, in stuff, are valued more highly than taking the time to BE, to connect with friends and family in real life. It is quicker, easier, more hassle free to just connect on social media and keep your physical distance, to have space for self, to rest and recover after working hard all day or facing your own emotional turmoil.

We are here on the planet to go through our awakening and this requires events to hapen to get us to stop and rethink our choices. It requires events that totally alter what we see as important and valuable in life, that is why the tragedies occur, the near death accidents or illnesses, the loss of relationships, family members or careers, the bankruptcy and crime. It all occurs to get us to stop and feel.

While we are busy living normal life we are often on autopilot, we go about our days the same way, over and over. It is comfortable, relatively easy, we don’t have to expend too much energy. Our comfort zone is stretched if we are asked to do much more and we may resist by shutting out that person and their demands or whatever it is that is asking us to stretch. It is easy to get lazy, to just rest and watch TV, to cuddle your pets or children or partner and to switch off from what is occurring to everyone else and the larger world. This is not callous, not personal, it is just human nature, to care for those you hold dearest and to draw a boundary around them and your way of being and to keep that safe, happy and easy.

Anyone wanting to come into your space may find it hard, if your boundaries are very strong. You simply don’t let them in, there is no time available for catching up or getting to know each other. No time for interaction. This is not necessarily a personal rejection, it is just that the person or people inside the circle are contented with their lives as they are and do not see the need to let anyone else in.

This may change in time, they may become more open and available, a career change, a new child, a special event, starting a hobby, or a loss of some kind may lead them to open the door a little wider. Their circumstances may change and they may need more people to help them, if someone was ill, if there was a new child or if their was unexpected loss in some way, whether that be a death of a loved one, loss of a job, crime and loss of posessions or finances. These losses occur to get people to open up, to step out of their comfort zone and to expand their consciousness. These life changing events kick-start the next phase of your evolutionary growth. They are meant to occur and they serve us. They shake us up and get us moving again.

hurting againIf you are upset that people will not let you in, that the door is closed, their boundaries too high, then look within yourself, look within and see why you are upset. You as an adult don’t need these people, you just want them. You can survive on your own. Any pain you are feeling is a trigger to heal that pain inside.

Many of us in childhood did not get our own needs met. We were left with an emotional deficit and we are hungry, starving for love and acceptance. We try to get it from many places and one of those is our families. We assume that they are our blood and we should be close, together, supporting each other. We should be happy, friendly and caring of each other. But this is just your thinking, your judgement.

You chose to incarnate into your specific family for a reason. If you chose a family that is disconnected, you did so for a reason. Perhaps you wanted to learn independence, self reliance and contentment outside of the family realm. If your family was all loving and kind and life was easy, you would not evolve at the rate you do when life is challenging. The challenges occur to help you go within and heal, to reconnect with your own divine nature and that of Source.

heart wateringAs you heal yourself you find that you don’t need love from others, you realise you are love, that is your true nature, and the nature of the Universe. We are surrounded by love and support all the time, but we don’t see it until we heal all the pain and trauma through which we view the world and those in it. We judge based on what is inside us. Each person, each family is doing exactly what they need for the evolution of its members. In time as they all heal and become one within themselves, love will flow freely throughout that family system. Until then there will be blockages, their will be conflict or separation.

You can’t force people to change, to heal, to let you in. What you can do is choose to love them anyway and to focus on healing your wounds and reconnecting to peace and love in your heart, so energetically love flows from you to everyone, instead of pain and judgement, shaming or blaming of those involved.

Try to be compassionate, try to accept that each is doing what they need to for their evolution and each is awakening at their own speed, evolution cannot occur over night, it takes time, lots of time and different people have different abilities to do so. We need to learn the skills to change our thinking patterns, our subconscious beliefs, our conditioning and emotional density. We need to learn how to take responsibility for our own lives and make the best out of what we have. We need to learn the power of gratitude and positive regard, seeing the best in things, as opposed to the worst.

Life truly can be Heaven on Earth if we do the work to heal ourselves. When we do so we make it easier for others to do the same. Energetically our freedom radiates out into the family system affecting others, making it easier for them to do the same. This is how we can help and make a difference  – by loving everyone as they are and accepting their choices and journey. We can focus on our own healing and evolution and know that when everyone’s hearts open back up love will flow freely between us all and families will be more harmonious. This will all take time and we can’t force it.

Don’t torture yourself by judging your family. Heal yourself instead, enjoy your life as much as you can and the doors will open in time, allowing greater connection to those you love. First you do the work internally, energetically and then it manifests in the outer world. Choose peace and love – that is what the world needs and what you are craving. You have to give it to you. You have to heal your blocks to receiving and to letting people close.

When you are healed and energetically open people will come, some of your blood family and some your Soul family, those who resonate with you, love you and want to be with you. These are your true tribe or family. The ones you birthed into were just the catalysts for your evolution and growth. Know in your heart you are okay, you are loved and you are held dear by all who know you, it may not seem like it, but the love is there, just waiting for you to heal enough so you can feel it. May that day come soon. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (27 July 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Why is joy so fleeting?

Joy is an emotion that occurs when you are totally at peace and living in in the Now. You are not thinking about the future or the past or what you need to do later in the day. Joy is the sheer pleasure of being present and attentive to the moment at hand, and whatever is arising. Few of you can stay present for very long. You skip all over the place with your thinking and therefore joy is lost. It takes focus, immersement, surrender and acceptance for joy to be present. It is not a doing or an efforting, it is an ease, a relaxation into what is.

The questioning mind keeps you away from joy. The judging mind sends it away further. All these mind activities keep you stuck in the head and away from your heart, which is where joy is felt. So you can’t have lasting joy unless you can rest in your heart. When you can do so, you see beauty and joy everywhere. You see it in nature, in the sunshine, in dogs playing, children laughing. You see it in life and its busyness and you see it in the faces of those who are eating cake or icecream or who are on an endorphin high after exercise. Joy is everywhere when you are in the receptive state to see it, feel it and receive its vibration.

heart wateringThat means your heart needs to be peaceful and for many of us that isn’t the case very often. Many people have hearts full of emotioal pain, yet to be released, full of fear and mistrust, confusion and pain, doubt and loss. There are lots of emotions and painful thoughts or beliefs leading to and perpetuating these low vibration emotions and energies. People’s bodies are filled with these issues creating emotional density or baggage. The heart is weighed down and joy which is very light is not felt.

It can be felt temporarily when you do something that stills you, that takes you to your heart and to enough inner silence that you can hear the heart’s message. This might occur during meditation, a walk in nature, holding a baby or a beloved pet. Whatever it is that takes you inside yourself and quietens your mind, then you can feel joy.

Joy can last and become your predominant experience, once you have cleaned out the emotional density and ceased reacting to the events that occur around you. If someone cuts you off in traffic, you don’t have to get agitated or angry. You can stay calm and peaceful. It’s a choice. A habit to break and a decision to choose differently. Even if someone is in your face saying unkind things, you don’t have to react with fear or with anger back. You can just stay centred, send love to your heart and your inner child, and choose peace. You can send the person love and acknowledge their power, for that is what they are truly seeking, to be seen, heard, acknowledged and accepted. They are hurting inside and lashing out. Don’t deepen their wound by reacting badly/painfully, send them love and help them heal. If you can do this, you can maintain your state of balance, peace and joy, no matter what you encounter.

It is possible, you just have to learn to do so, to be able to step back and witness what occurs and choose your reaction. So monitoring your thoughts, being quiet enough to hear them, is an important skill to learn in order to have peace and joy all the time.

Even if you temporarily lose your cool and need to balance back up, you can do so quickly if you don’t berate yourself for it. You can simply notice that you reacted, learn from it, heal whatever button or event it triggered from your past and vow to react differently in future. Love yourself and the situation for the healing it enabled. Thank it and let it go. No need to hold on to it. No need to beat yourself up for slipping or not being perfect.

You are human and you are evolving and growing each day. Each day moves you towards having greater peace and joy in your life. The recipe is clear, less doing more being, less judging more accepting, less resistance more allowance, more fun and creativity, more stillness and going within, more practice and friendships – more sharing and growth. All of this adds up to a life full of joy and happiness, being of service in whatever way feels right to you. Blessed BE. Amen. May joy be in your hearts now and always. So be it.

By Jodi-Anne (4 June 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.