I love the Voice Dialogue work of Hal and Sidra Stone. In this short video they are explaining how many relationships end when the partners have not maintained ‘energetic linkage’ with each other. At the start of a relationship we feel ‘connected’ very strongly and it is that connection that feeds the relationship and keeps it strong.
If either partner moves the majority of their energetic focus elsewhere the connection withers and eventually dies. This happens quite commonly when one partner may get focused more on work or a hobby. The majority of their attention is focused on that and not on the relationship, so the partners start to feel less close. Over time they drift apart until they no longer feel any connection with each other. It is very sad when this happens.
There does not necessarily need to be conflict, it is just a loss of connection and closeness. A common time when this occurs is with the birth of the first child. The wife may focus the majority of her attention on the child and the husband can feel left out. Not understanding why he feels sad or alone he may focus his time and energy on his work, his car, a hobby e.g. the Ipad / computer or start an affair to get the emotional connection from another source.
Sadly many people don’t talk about the growing void in the relationship, the feeling of loss or disconnection. Perhaps, they don’t want to risk acknowledging their vulnerability or they may try to do so but feel unheard. They then shut down further, turning their focus elsewhere. It is common for a woman to focus her energy and time on the kids or with her girlfriends. These provide her with the nourishment she had been missing, but it reinforces the energetic connection with them and not the partner. If the relationship is to survive the main energetic connection needs to be with the partner.
It doesn’t take a lot of time or effort to keep your energetic linkage strong – just take a few minutes each day to connect emotionally, to look into each others’ eyes and really be present with each other. Talk from the heart sharing what you are going through. Once a week or so go out and do something together that you both enjoy. The more you nurture the connection the stronger it will be. Even just holding the intent for their to be a strong connection helps – it reverberates out and the other will feel it energetically.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Fhn2bGY66So]
Thank you for these words. These words hold a lot of truth that needs to be considered for the health of a marriage.