When someone you love commits suicide it shatters your whole world. You wake up feeling like nothing will ever be the same again, and that’s true. It won’t be. Your life has been irrevocably altered.
You will have many, many moments of questioning “If only I’d done this….. if only I’d told him/her I loved them more…. If only I’d spent less time on my own goals and more with them”. Stop this. This is just torturing yourself. You can’t know the reasons why this has occurred. Even if a note was left it will only be part of the picture.
The truth is that this beautiful person was struggling to the depths of their core and couldn’t see a way out. They saw no other option than to leave their body as a way to end the pain.
Unfortunately that doesn’t work. You carry the pain with you to the afterlife and as a soul you reflect on your life, you see the pain you have caused others, you see where you could have chosen differently, and you feel all your regret, shame, anger, embarrassment and sadness over it all. You take the time to reflect, to realise, to learn and grow with the support of the Angels, Ascended Masters, your ancestors and Guides and then when you feel strong enough and ready you reincarnate into another lifetime with similar circumstances, so that you can choose differently.
You keep doing this until you find a way through, till you evolve or grow with love into Godlikeness, into mastery of that situation, that challenge and then life will bring you another lesson, another challenge to work on.
That is life. That is what it is all about. So the end of your current life is just one chapter in a very big book. It is not oblivion. It is not eternal damnation. It’s just a pause along the way that is the journey of that soul’s life.
So when someone you love has died by their own free will, there is nothing you can do to change the fact that it has occurred.
Your lesson, your challenge is to stay here too, to not give up, to not escape the pain through addiction or self-harm. Your challenge is to be loving and kind to yourself and others around you, while you all grieve and go through the stages of denial, questioning, bargaining, raging, grieving and accepting what has occurred. It is a process. It takes time, lots of time.
But to do it as gracefully as possible requires you to sit in stillness, to go within and feel your pain, to love and hold the parts of you that are struggling, to comfort yourself and give yourself the space you need to adjust to this change in your life. Cancel your to do list, rest and BE. Give to yourself the time and space you need.
Your loved one is still with you, watching over you in spirit. They see the pain they’ve caused, that is part of their lesson. They realise the damage they’ve done.
You can help them by helping yourself move through it as quickly as possible, and this happens when you are honest with yourself and them about how you feel. So have conversations with the deceased person. Close your eyes and imagine them in front of you, talk to them, hug them, hold them, empty out the grief in your heart, tell them all you need to say. You can tell them your ‘if only’s’ and see if they respond. They may tell you there is nothing you could have done.
When someone is stuck in that much darkness, even if someone comes in shining a light they can’t let it in. It seems too foreign, not a match, not a puzzle piece that can slot into place. No matter what you attempted, the same outcome would have occurred in this lifetime and the proof of that is it did occur, the person ended their life.
If we believe that God has a plan for us all, then we have to accept that suicide, as horrible as it is, is also a part of God’s plan. It is one of many dark choices that people face along with committing crimes, killing others, raping or torturing others, etc. There are many hard lessons that people go through, the challenge of resisting and doing their best.
Sometimes they get so depleted, so exhausted, so filled with a sense of hopelessness that they say “That’s enough for me this lifetime. Take me home. I will try again another time, but for now I’m done.” That is what suicide is. It is opening your arms up to God and saying “I can’t do this one, please bring me home to rest, to strengthen up, before I try again”. We all go through moments of despair. Some we find a way through. Some we don’t.
Suicide is not a massive sin as has been preached in the past. It is just a giving up on this game, this lifetime. It is not a finality, just a stepping stone in the journey and it will continue on.
Yes, the soul will have to work through all the pain leading up to the event and that which is caused to others afterwards. It’s not easy, but it is the redemption that leads to the growth, and there are celebrations on high when the soul finally does master the lesson and makes it through. Even if still only a partial joy in life, if they manage to keep living their life they will be led forth to find peace and happiness. It can take many lifetimes, but the person will always be supported along the way by their Guides, their higher self, and their Angels.
Try to understand suicide is not wrong. It’s unfortunate and unnecessary, but it is an option provided to us all if we feel we can’t proceed.
That person who is now in spirit will be okay, and what they long for is that you too will be okay, that you will find a way through to find peace and joy again in your own life.
They don’t want you to be damaged or adversely affected by their choice. Do something in honour of them so that you are growing and advancing, make a decision to live more fully, to honour your heart and its needs.
Use their experience to motivate you to live your life more fully, more beneficially for you and others. If you need to change jobs, move, travel, take a risk to let people close or to reach out when you sense someone is in pain, do it.
Do whatever you can to make something good come out of this experience, then you are creating a positive legacy as a result of your loved one’s choice and that pleases them, then they can relax knowing you are okay, and something good has come from it all. That reduces the burden they feel.
So if you want to help them, help yourself. Honour yourself and your needs. You will get through this. Just take it day by day and honour where you are at. Honour your needs. If you need to rest do so, the dishes can wait. It’s okay if the house is a little dirty, or you’re eating ‘take out’ for a while.
It’s okay to ask for help if you need it. Let family, friends, and/or a therapist be there to assist you on your path, as you learn to keep moving forward, to see that there is still goodness in this world and that you can find peace and happiness again. Blessed BE. Amen.
Channelled By Jodi-Anne (16 July 2019).
- Jodi-Anne has the ability to ask and receive answers to questions about life. The information she receives comes from Spirit, Source, God, whatever you would like to call it. She is just the conduit receiving the message. Take what reads true for you and leave the rest. Each soul has their own truth, their own values and insights. This is just one messenger and the information she has received. Blessed BE.
- Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
- If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)