Humanity chooses to stay enmeshed in pain and loss as it is what is known. The majority of people come from a space of self importance focused on what they can get. This isolates them from others and their heart. In this state of separation they can feel nothing but loss and grief. No matter how much they achieve or wealth they get, they will still feel loss – as it is the loss of the heart, of love, of God that they are truly longing for.
Materialistic focuses result in poverty thinking.There is always more to get or someone else with more to compare yourself too and to feel bad about yourself and your situation because of. It also leads to fear, fear of losing what you do have and fear you won’t get enough in the future. This fear can build to anxiety, depression, desperation resulting in compulsive acquiring behaviours and hoarding situations. It is all fear based as a result of disconnection from the heart and God. In desperation people cling to the objects they do have. They do not realise these things can not bring them lasting happiness.
It is a sad situation when the world is focused on materialistic endeavours. There is no time for joy, for having fun, for connecting deeply and sharing with others, family and friends. There is no honouring of Mother Earth or recognition of her healing and supportive powers. Instead she is seen simply as a commodity – a supplier of resources to be taken and used in the pursuit of material success.
This is not how life is meant to be. Slow down. Simplify. Connect with yourself and your children. Spend time with them. They need your love and attention. They need time with you. They need this connection with you more than they need any material item. They can go without the latest gadget or fashion item. They can not go without your love. To do so results in more dysfunction and a repeating of the cycle as they then try to succeed to feel special, in the hope they will then be loved.
You are all loved just as you are. Slow down and feel the Earth’s heartbeat, feel the pulse of life, allow abundance to flow to you. You do not have to work so hard for it. You don’t have to cling to a pittance, when true wealth is available to you. Connect with your heart, your inner guidance. What is it you really want to do? What do you really care about? Do that. Heal your wounds so you feel peaceful inside. Then you don’t need to strive endlessly outside yourself for that which has always been available to you inside yourself.
Slow down. Love and accept yourself and those around you. Know you are all doing the best you know how to do at this time. You are all healing and evolving and moving towards Christ-Consciousness – a space of love, connectedness and kindness to all. May it manifest quickly in all your hearts as you open to the possibility of living life differently, of being seen as your authentic self, as you drop away the facade / image you have used to please others or get acceptance. It is okay to just be you. You are good enough. You are perfectly okay just as you are. Choose peace and be kind to yourself. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Blessed BE. Amen.
I gave a talk at a Unite the Light event in 2013. This was the handout I channeled (5 July 2013).
This earthly plane is one of deep challenges – deep highs and lows so that you can learn and evolve just as Mother Earth and her creatures do. You all do. We all evolve and grow into the perfection of selfless love, peace and joy at connecting with our true self, our God given self – the creator within us.
It is time for humanity to wake up to this gift of life on Earth – its highs and lows – to see the opportunity for soul growth that it presents. It is time to see the blessings with all events, the lessons you are to learn, the peace of forgiveness and letting God lead your life. It is time to flow with what is rather than fight or resist it. It is time to trust and surrender, not cling or hold onto that which you judge dear. Trust that whatever leaves your life leaves for a reason and that something wondrous will enter in time.
Life on Earth is not a bed of roses. How boring that would be! We have a place for that, a place in another dimension where all beings live harmoniously in connection to all that is. Earth is different. Earth is a place of duality and as such you are meant to feel highs and lows, to experience what it means to be happy and sad, to feel love and betrayal, to feel ecstasy and loss. If the dark did not exist you could not know the light. This is the purpose of life on Earth to feel, to learn the opposites, to be in density – physical and emotional, and find your way through. That is what you are doing. That is why you experience what you do.
It is not punishment or bad luck. It is not karma in the sense most think of it as. It is your choice. You chose to come and learn certain lessons or master certain situations. How could you learn how to forgive if no one hurt you? How could you learn peace unless you experienced war or deep fear? These opposites exist to help you and those souls that join with you on Earth are serving you. Helping you to evolve and grow. Those that hurt you are truly serving you. They love you. At the soul level you and they are one. We all are. There is not but I. There is not but God. All is God, Creator, Universe. It matters not what you call it.
God does not judge. He/She only loves. Loves all beings, all creations, all experiences. You have these experiences to learn and grow. You cannot offend God with your actions. You can only harm yourself with your own judgments and painful thinking. God just loves you. God knows that you are experiencing what you need for your evolution. Your needs not necessarily wants. You get what is needed to advance your soul’s growth and development, to become the master you came here to be.
Do not judge each other. Do not think one soul is more advanced than another. All are on the same path, learning the same lessons. Each has their areas of weakness to master and that is why they’re here. No realised being is on Earth in a physical body. All are here to learn and grow. Some who hold the lowliest positions have the most light. Success in not what you think it is. Success is inner peace. Success is inner joy. Success is love, surrender and trusting what comes. Success is the ability to BE and bless all who come your way, to live in harmony on Earth as we do in Heaven.
Heaven is not a place as such but a state of being, a dimensional space that overlaps with the physical plane. It is here. You just can’t see it or feel it till you reach the vibration of it. That is what we’re evolving to. That is what we’re to become – beings of light and love. Those here are way-showers, are leaders of the light, opening to these concepts prior to the masses. You are the ones chosen to blaze the trail for others to follow. Many of you chose very challenging life experiences to master so that you could relate to others from a place of experience and resolution of those challenges. You are brave souls with big hearts who have come to serve humanity. You are here to light the way, to hold strong in the face of adversity and speak to the hearts of all men, of all beings, to reconnect to love and light.
Mother Earth supports you in this journey. Mother Earth is the vehicle for growth. She adjusts and changes as you change. The energies of humans affect her deeply, but she adjusts as needed. Natural disasters are simply the Mother’s way of releasing built up tension and energy blockages. This energy is released in volcanic explosions, tidal waves, earth quakes, hurricanes and fires. These balance the energy back up. Mother Earth does what she needs to do to survive. Yes our actions affect her but she will live on. We may not. If we damage her too much, she may need to expel us in order to survive. It is we who are endangered not her. It is us who hurt ourselves by living unsustainably and being disconnected from our hearts. It is us who will suffer the consequences of our deeds.
This is why it is so important for us to reconnect to our hearts, our intuition, our guidance systems – to hear, see and feel the messages of truth, of what we need to do to be of service to the whole, of what we are here to do. It is for one purpose and one purpose only that we are here – to perform a role that no other can perform. We each have a destined role to play that no one else can do as they haven’t had our past lives or our own unique gifts and wisdom to share. Life leads us towards that. Life reveals it to us when the time is right.
Mine is to channel the messages of my heart, to share my experiences and my discoveries of healing and acceptance of God, life, the way the Universe works. I know I only know a fraction of the truth. My insights are likely flawed for no one on Earth can know all things. But we learn some and can access guidance for others. It is this that I came to share and I thank you for listening this evening. I hope my sharing has given you food for thought about life, our process of growth and the next stages you face on your path. Blessed BE everyone. Thank you for this opportunity. It is with love, humility and gratitude I thank you for shining your light for all to see. Amen.
What is the most useful response to terror, to world events? I asked this question of my higher self and this is what I channeled (25 Jan 2015).
Child it benefits no one for you to allow it to terrorize you, shock you and numb you. It benefits no one to fight against it and allow poisonous, toxic, and negative thoughts to fill your mind. Rage and terror harm the body. Be spurred into action if you feel pulled to do so, but do it from love, kindness, peace and a desire to see that spread further and further a field.
Visualize calm, tranquil energy flooding war torn areas and blanketing all with a snow of love and peace and in time it will come about. See stillness creating space for people to feel their hearts, to question their actions and motives, to awaken and evolve to loving actions, God-like actions. Each soul does this in turn, in their divine timing.
Each soul needs their life challenges in order to have the opportunity to use their free will and say ‘No more!’, to choose differently, to not be oppressed or oppressive. Each needs their chance to choose faith in God and letting go of fear or ego control. Each needs life circumstances that brings them to their knees, to call out to God and let God in.
Each needs to learn they can’t do it alone, so that they learn to call his name and welcome God into their hearts. Each needs the suffering to break free of and to appreciate the light and joy once it is anchored into their flesh.
Each needs their synchronicities and miracles to convince them there is more to life than we see. It is all part of the plan. So do not despair. Do not fight. Do not give up. Just see the light. See the bigger picture and celebrate the freedom to chose how you look at every situation.
See it is all good and all part of God’s plan. Yes send love and light. Yes speak up if you wish and take action, but do it from a place of peace, a place of knowing it is all okay, all part of the dance of life.
No need to try and convert anyone, to convince anyone of anything. Let them awaken in their own time, as will you. You can show people choices, educate them on options if they ask, but don’t force or try to change them because people resist being told, manipulated, shamed. It just makes them dig in further to their current beliefs. Send love and accept it is okay that they choose differently to you at this time.
Jesus loved all sinners and saints. He helped all to awaken to love. He did not judge those that did not know what they do. He declared his love for God and respect for life and he led by example. Do the same.
Be an example of what you believe, of what you would like the world to become. Be of peace and love yourself and let that flow out into the world. Let love and light be the legacy you leave behind. Let love and light be all you see and do. Then there is no war in your body or your world. If enough people do this there will be no war ever.
Let the light spread brightly across the globe – your inner world and outer world. All is as it is meant to be. Trust. Set yourself free and worry not. No need for fuss or tears. Be free of it. No need to convince anyone else of this approach as valid, right or acceptable. Each has to find their own way in the world. Blessed BE. Amen.
Jodi-Anne started her life full of pain, disappointment and shame. She felt unloved and unwanted by her parents and worked hard to succeed and prove she was worth loving. She hoped to get noticed and loved, but found that she rejected any kindness for lack of trusting it was real. She was wounded and armoured living from the mind and closing her heart so as not to feel the pain within or experience any more loss and disappointment.
She achieved many impressive promotions in her career and multiple qualifications only to realise that these did not make her happy or healthy. She realised in time that she hated her life and fell in and out of depression for many years. She awoke to God and the greater evolutionary journey in her mid 20’s. Since then she has been focused on releasing her emotional pain and baggage to return to a state of harmony and peace. She has used many different healing modalities and is trained in those she found most beneficial – Psych-K, Reiki, Light Therapy.
In an unexpected turn of events Jodi-Anne found herself returning to the role she first commenced her career with. She had loved that role and sang through each day enjoying being of service to the community as an Environmental Health Officer. She is currently reliving this experience and happy living simply and performing a job she enjoys and enjoying her life outside of work.
For the first time ever she has no desire to achieve, advance, fix, heal or change herself or anyone else for that matter. She finally has peace inside and is content being in that feeling and opening to greater balance in her life with social activities, close heart-focused friends and a love for life.
She is not seeing clients or offering healing services at this stage.This is a time of celebrating the peace within and honouring self. Jodi-Anne will from time to time post on this website. She will not however be on here regularly so do not be surprised if she does not answer emails or queries quickly. She is finally living and loving her life.
It is her hope that all beings find this peace and become that in the world, for then we truly will have peace on Earth. Much love to all, Jodi-Anne x
Recently I have been feeling weighed down by the state of the planet, the enormity of the sustainability challenges we are facing and the difficulty of getting behaviour change. I asked for a message from Mother Earth about all of this. Here is what I channeled (23 Nov 2013).
Child it is I who talks to you all the time. It is my energy you hear in your head, for I dwell inside all beings. I am not in turmoil, I am just in a process of flux, of natural evolutionary growth. Do not fear a doomsday apocalyptic ending for that will not occur. Love will reign supreme on this planet and will heal the hearts of man and revitalise the natural elements of all.
There is nothing to fear or worry about. Be happy. Yes, human actions impact me, but it is of minor significance for I am much stronger than your scientists think. I can discharge adverse energies through natural disasters and rebalance myself to a state of peace and tranquility. Yes, increasing natural disasters are occurring because there is much I have to release due to your actions, but that is not as devastating a thing as your media makes out. Not on a planetary level. On the human level it is disruptive if you happen to live at a place of flux, but those who live there chose this as part of their incarnation. All souls are aware of this. It is just your human minds that doubt and question.
So there is no need for panic or despair. Trust all is happening as it needs to. Yes beings raising their vibration and spreading love helps to cancel out the adverse energies, thereby reducing the need for me to have so many releases, which you call natural disasters. So, yes what you do matters. It is this energy work you do that is so much more important than how you choose to live. Yes, it would be good for people to consume less and conserve. It all helps. But as you know we all have many energetic bodies and the physical is the densest. You make a much bigger impact through being love, having internal peace and harmony than you do by just recycling or donating to an orphanage or other cause. It all helps. It is all important, but it is your inner work that has the biggest impact.
Be the love you want to see in the world.
So what I need from you and all beings is to have them understand this and to focus on creating inner and outer harmony in their lives, for then I will follow suit. Don’t panic or fear. Don’t predict the worst. Trust in love and joy and be this in the world. Celebrate life, live in a state of gratitude for all you have and vibrate at the level of the I AM Consciousness – that is what is needed most. So focus on that for yourself and assist others to do the same.
Do not waste your energy focusing on obtaining behaviour change for sustainability in the traditional sense. Let others do that. Your work, your mission is much more important than that. You are to help yourself and others to reconnect to me, their hearts, God and all beings. To see we truly are connected and united as one being. To create harmony and love for all. To see that connection, the synchronicity of life and its evolutionary process, to see we are all evolving into beings of love and peace. You are a wayshower for this.
You are an anchor for great light as are your Unite the Light and Abdy colleagues. A great many are doing this work and it is working. We are all awakening to oneness and love of All There Is. So do not fret, do not panic and do not give up. Be yourself, a bright beacon of light and joy for all to see. This is your mission, your joy, your destiny. So be it Child. Thank you for caring and for being the bright light that you are. Adieu.
Should I share this message as a blog post?
Yes Child you can do so. Some will relate, some will not, but a message of hope is useful. I am not saying don’t live sustainably, I am saying that it is okay if that doesn’t occur for all beings. I will not die and I won’t kick most of you off. I won’t need to as enough of you are waking up to love and peace, in yourselves and your lives, that you energetically help to balance up the actions of those who don’t. Yes, it would be great to see all of humanity choosing sustainable lives and supporting all beings, sharing and loving, but it is okay if this doesn’t happen overnight. It will not be the end of the world. Blessed BE.
The Celestine Prophecy and the follow on books by James Redfield are a great example of conscious evolution and the process that we all must go through as we open up to our intuition and living life according to synchronicities and flow. Through out the novels James explains his understanding of the way the Universe works and how we are all evolving. It contains great wisdom and every time I read them it reminds me at a deeper level of the beauty and mysteries of life. It helps me to reset my sail and tune in on a deeper level to my internal guidance. I love his books and the insights that come from them. Below is a list of the Celestine Insights and some short videos – one of James Redfield discussing his most recent book in the series titled ‘The twelfth Insight’ published in 2011 and the trailer to the Celestine Prophecy movie which was released in 2006.
The Celestine Insights
Here is a copy of his Celestine Insights as published on – http://www.celestinevision.com/insights.html.
THE FIRST INSIGHT . . . A CRITICAL MASS – A new spiritual awakening is occurring in human culture, an awakening brought about by a critical mass of individuals who experience their lives as a spiritual unfolding, a journey in which we are led forward by mysterious coincidences.
THE SECOND INSIGHT . . . THE LONGER NOW – This awakening represents the creation of a new, more complete worldview, which replaces a five-hundred-year-old preoccupation with secular survival and comfort. While this technological preoccupation was an important step, our awakening to life’s coincidences is opening us up to the real purpose of human life on this planet, and the real nature of our universe.
THE THIRD INSIGHT . . . A MATTER OF ENERGY – We now experience that we live not in a material universe, but in a universe of dynamic energy. Everything extant is a field of sacred energy that we can sense and intuit. Moreover, we humans can project our energy by focusing our attention in the desired direction…where attention goes, energy flows…influencing other energy systems and increasing the pace of coincidences in our lives.
THE FOURTH INSIGHT . . . THE STRUGGLE FOR POWER – Too often humans cut themselves off from the greater source of this energy and so feel weak and insecure. To gain energy we tend to manipulate or force others to give us attention and thus energy. When we successfully dominate others in this way, we feel more powerful, but they are left weakened and often fight back. Competition for scarce, human energy is the cause of all conflict between people.
THE FIFTH INSIGHT . . . THE MESSAGE OF THE MYSTICS – Insecurity and violence ends when we experience an inner connection with divine energy within, a connection described by mystics of all traditions. A sense of lightness–buoyancy–along with the constant sensation of love are measures of this connection. If these measures are present, the connection is real. If not, it is only pretended.
THE SIXTH INSIGHT . . . CLEARING THE PAST – The more we stay connected, the more we are acutely aware of those times when we lose connection, usually when we are under stress. In these times, we can see our own particular way of stealing energy from others. Once our manipulations are brought to personal awareness, our connection becomes more constant and we can discover our own growth path in life, and our spiritual mission–the personal way we can contribute to the world.
THE SEVENTH INSIGHT . . . ENGAGING THE FLOW – Knowing our personal mission further enhances the flow of mysterious coincidences as we are guided toward our destinies. First we have a question; then dreams, daydreams, and intuitions lead us towards the answers, which usually are synchronistically provided by the wisdom of another human being.
THE EIGHTH INSIGHT . . . THE INTERPERSONAL ETHIC – We can increase the frequency of guiding coincidences by uplifting every person that comes into our lives. Care must be taken not to lose our inner connection in romantic relationships. Uplifting others is especially effective in groups where each member can feel energy of all the others. With children it is extremely important for their early security and growth. By seeing the beauty in every face, we lift others into their wisest self, and increase the chances of hearing a synchronistic message.
THE NINTH INSIGHT . . .THE EMERGING CULTURE – As we all evolve toward the best completion of our spiritual missions, the technological means of survival will be fully automated as humans focus instead on synchronistic growth. Such growth will move humans into higher energy states, ultimately transforming our bodies into spiritual form and uniting this dimension of existence with the after-life dimension, ending the cycle of birth and death.
THE TENTH INSIGHT . . . HOLDING THE VISION – The Tenth Insight is the realization that throughout history human beings have been unconsciously struggling to implement this lived spirituality on Earth. Each of us comes here on assignment, and as we pull this understanding into consciousness, we can remember a fuller birth vision of what we wanted to accomplish with our lives. Further we can remember a common world vision of how we will all work together to create a new spiritual culture. We know that our challenge is to hold this vision with intention and prayer everyday.
THE ELEVENTH INSIGHT . . . EXTENDING PRAYER FIELDS – The Eleventh Insight is the precise method through which we hold the vision. For centuries, religious scriptures, poems, and philosophies have pointed to a latent power of mind within all of us that mysteriously helps to affect what occurs in the future. It has been called faith power, positive thinking, and the power of prayer. We are now taking this power seriously enough to bring a fuller knowledge of it into public awareness. We are finding that this prayer power is a field of intention, which moves out from us and can be extended and strengthened, especially when we connect with others in a common vision. This is the power through which we hold the vision of a spiritual world and build the energy in ourselves and in others to make this vision a reality.
James doesn’t list what the twelfth insight is yet, but he provides this introduction to it on the twelfth insight webpage – http://www.thetwelfthinsight.com/
THE TWELFTH INSIGHT . . . ????? – I believe a new, very exciting time is beginning in human history. I call it the 12th Insight. The Mayan Calendar calls it the Ninth Wave of Creation. But whatever it is called, it is a new clarity about the nature of the universe, and how we, as individuals, can put spiritual knowledge into very practical application to find a higher path through life. Think about it. We have been pursuing spiritual knowledge in a mass way for decades. And finally we’ve reached the clarity to put it into action, to live it everyday! As we act individually, we create together a new cultural approach to life that is the key to solving all the problems facing human society. I believe we can already sense what is occurring. There is a new call for civility and honesty in politics and business. It’s the new urge we feel to live a more authentic life of integrity. The emerging Twelfth Insight represents a spiritual life that the best of every religious tradition has always held true, and that, in fact, points the way toward peace. There has never been a more exciting time to be alive. In spite of all our problems, this new awareness can be contagious, moving from person to person and can resolve everything. We just have to consciously share the truth of what we are doing. Remember, it’s not the end times. We’re just beginning. It’s morning in the world!
[youtube=http://youtu.be/JsjjfoTJrD4]
The Celestine Prophecy Movie
James Redfield’s first book the Celestine Prophecy was made into a movie several years ago now. It is a good summary but of course like all movies it can only contain some of the material from the book and some of its wisdom. It is well worth a watch and the books are well worth reading once, twice or many times! Here is the movie trailer.
This is a beautiful 6 minute video about the healing power of love. The video contains quotes from wise scholars and prophets and is set to images of nature’s beauty and glory. Uplifting and meaningful, it is worth watching. Love heals.
Some thoughts on parenting – combining insights from neuroscience, new biological sciences, conscious parenting, and psychology.
Children need love and affection
Children need to feel loved and accepted in order for their brains to develop optimally. Even prior to the formation of your egg or sperm your thoughts about yourself, the world and your desire or not to have a child and your ability to care for that child or not, start shaping the personality of a possible child. Your thoughts affect what genes are selected and programmed on your egg or sperm. So even prior to conception you have the ability to affect the personality and intelligence of your child.
Children need your time and attention
Even in the womb children benefit from you connecting with them, talking to them, telling them they are loved, wanted, welcomed, that the world is a safe place, that you look forward to sharing your life with them. This prenatal attachment helps your baby’s brain to grow in optimal ways.
Blood flow from the Mother crosses the placenta carrying all the Mother’s beliefs, emotions and stressors. The baby gets the lot. It is as nature intended it – shaping the baby to learn and survive in the world as the Mother sees it. If the Mother sees a loving world and experiences that (hence the role of the Father is also key here) then the foetus will grow optimally. If she sees a harsh, scary, dangerous world the foetus will develop differently. The blood flow will be diverted from brain development to muscle development so that the child will be able to survive, be a fighter in the world, able to fight or run away from danger. In this way 50% of IQ can be diminished if the foetus is carried in fear during pregnancy. (Bruce Lipton talks about this, see his material if you want to learn more).
If the Mother is very stressed then her body is full of cortisol and this is toxic to a developing baby’s brain. It actually eats away / dissolves the brain cells. (The same happens when a baby is left to cry – cortisol is secreted and can damage the brain). What you do during your pregnancy has a major impact on the development of your child-to-be’s IQ and physiology. Up to halfof their personality is already formed before they are even born.
Children need loving births and to bond with you immediately
The birth process also affects the child and its experience of the world. Is it stressful, noisy, loud and invasive – like a hospital can be? Was the birth traumatic with the Mother and Father in fear? Were there any complications? Was the baby taken from the Mother and tested for various things – pricked in the foot for blood tests, immunised, a plastic scapula stuck down its throat to sample its stomach contents, weighed on a cold scale? All of these things affect the child’s perception of the world and whether it is safe, welcoming or not.
If drugs were used during the labour these have also entered the baby across the placenta. This can leave a baby unaware, not fully present for the first few days. And this time is some of the most crucial time for bonding and attachment with the parents. The baby needs to be held, loved, nurtured, have lots of eye contact and skin to skin contact with both the Mother and the Father. Without it bonding does not occur and this sets the baby up with abandonment issues, feelings of being unloved, etc. These early moments are so, so important. Science is now confirming what those with open hearts have always known. Babies do feel, are sensitive to pain from the very start, from their time in the womb. All that you do impacts them. Your role as parent is so, so important shaping their health and personality and the role they will play in society.
It is now being fully recognised by politicians and community health personnel that if you raise babies in a more loving and nurturing way those children will grow up with a healthier sense of self esteem and connection with society. Poor care giving leads to more crime, ill health, poverty and other undesirable characteristics. That is why Governments, including Australia, are introducing policies to support parents and improve early care giving. We will continue to see more and more early care services for families as this recognition becomes widely accepted in society.
Parents need help to look after their babies optimally. Parenting is a hard job. It requires you to give and give and give. If you are stressed, resentful, depressed or even just unhappy with your life – your baby absorbs that and may believe it is their fault. Setting up beliefs of “I’m a problem”, “I’m not good enough”. Even if they don’t do that, they learn about life from you, so they will automatically expect their life to be the same.
Children learn from your every move
From 0-6 years of age their brains have not developed conscious functioning – the ability to question data. From 0-6 years they simply believe everything that they are told or what they see and sense about the world from watching you. If they see you sad or scared or stressed, they absorb it. If they hear you say that they are bad, unwanted, have spoilt things, are selfish, stupid, you wish they were never born, etc, they absorb it and believe it. This forms their core belief system that will then affect them for the rest of their life.
Parents, most anyway, do not set out to damage their children, but when they are stressed and exhausted such statements can slip out. Especially if that is what you were told when you were little. Your parents programmed your beliefs from 0-6 years of age as you do with your children. These patterns can repeat through the generations unless you make a conscious decision to heal and change those beliefs – then your actions can be different.
Conscious parenting is a great start, learning what you can about loving and nurturing methods to promote a baby and child’s self esteem, individuality and emotional intelligence. The knowledge is key. You will be able to apply it when you are calm, centred and feeling good. But when you are stressed you may be shocked to find that you revert back to not so ideal ways of talking to and treating your baby or child. You may hear your Mother’s of Father’s words coming out of your own mouth. Because when you are stressed you react more from the subconscious mind, on auto pilot. And this is the part of the brain that was programmed from 0-6 years old. It contains all the memories, feelings, beliefs form those times and plays them like tape recordings over and over. It does not judge or think it just plays over and over. Changing these tapes to more loving ones about yourself, your ability to be a good parent, about your child is crucial to good child rearing. It is this information which is now leading to greater support for families. With less stress it is easier to be more loving and kind to your child.
Parents need support
Whether it just be friends or family who can help around the house – getting drinks, meals, cleaning up, taking older kids out so that parents can bond with a new baby or family and friends helping to hold the baby when it cries so the Mother and Father can rest.
Crying is a natural biological process for releasing tension and stress. Sometimes your baby just needs to cry. There is nothing that they need other than to be held and loved while they cry. This can be challenging to a parent, especially a first time parent, who assumes that they are doing something wrong. Their belief tapes play “I’m not good enough”, “I’m a bad parent”, “My baby doesn’t like me” or “My baby/toddler is deliberately trying to upset or disobey me”. (Some people do have these beliefs, believing that babies and toddlers are deliberately trying to upset them, but this is not possible, their brains have not developed that much yet. They are not wilfully disobeying, they are just being babies/toddlers. They don’t need judgment or punishment, they need love and acceptance.)
A constantly crying baby can wear a parent down and it is important that another caregiver is present to take over and hold the baby when the parent can no longer do so in a loving way. This does not occur in a lot of families and what happens instead is that the baby senses your stress, anger, desperation = danger. You may have started to pat or bounce them a little harder. You may have shoved a dummy or food in their mouth. You may have put them down and walked away. All of these responses tell a baby it is not safe to express my emotions. They learn to bury the tension inside their bodies, setting up a lifelong pattern of emotional regression and inability to ask for what they need. Using food to comfort a child can set it up for obesity and eating disorders in the future.
Children need to express their emotions
This pattern is usually reinforced during toddler years and beyond if the child is not allowed to express it’s emotions to you. Often a child will be unhappy with something that you have done or something you won’t let them do. Few parents let their child express this. It leads the parents to feel hurt or guilt, and they can’t handle it so they stifle the child instead. “Don’t talk back”. “Respect your elders”. “Because I said so”. Are all ways parents use to stop a child expressing itself.
Ideally children from a young age are taught it is okay to express their emotions. This can be role modelled using I statements. “When you do ….. I feel and I’d prefer …….” This is healthy. Children can also draw, write about what they feel. They can be taught to punch a pillow or kick the bed when they are angry and get their emotion out. Teach them that is okay but hitting a person or animal is not.
Tantrums are an overflow of emotion that they don’t know how to express. They literally lose control of their senses as their body is flooded with hormones and chemicals. It is very scary for a child to experience. What they need when this occurs is for you to stay present, talk calmly to them, and wait for the chemicals to pass, for their nervous system to regulate, so they regain their bodily control. Do not walk away, yell at them or shame them. Abandoning them during such a time teaches them they can’t rely on you or anyone to be there for them in their time of need. Remember from 0-6 years old they don’t have the ability to question data, it just gets absorbed. They can’t rationalise and say “Mummy’s just upset or tired, that’s why she walked away”. They see you walk away angry and assume it is their fault, that they are a bad person, not good enough, etc. If you do need to walk away say why. Say you are tired, stressed, need some time to yourself or to rest. Say this so the child knows it is not because they are bad.
Children need boundaries not discipline
It’s perfectly okay, desirable and healthy even, for you to assert your needs and desires with your toddler and older children. Let them know you have needs. For instance “I need you to go to sleep now, so Mummy can rest too”. “I need you to tidy your room as it is getting hard for me to walk around and that upsets me”. “I need some time with Daddy now so please go to sleep. I’ve enjoyed our day together, now it’s sleep time”. A child is more likely to go to sleep hearing this than if you try to tell them “You need to sleep so you will be refreshed in the morning or so you can concentrate at school tomorrow”. The child doesn’t care about these things, they are in the future, not now. Explaining your needs helps them learn that you are human, that you have needs too, that you won’t always be able to give to them. That is good. It helps them learn to be considerate of others and to be a caring member of society.
Letting your child walk all over you, treat you poorly, get away with all sorts of undesirable behaviour is damaging to them and to you. They need boundaries. They need to be taught about morals and care for self, others and the planet. These things can be done naturally and easily if you use such positive communication processes as I statements, as you role model healthy emotional intelligence and teach them the same. Make activities and chores fun, a chance to connect, then they will gladly tidy their room, help with the dishes, etc. Show your appreciation of their help. Your genuine praise warms the heart of your child and builds their self esteem. They will do more of what you want to get that warm, good feeling about themselves. If you have this connection and bond, you don’t need to coerce, manipulate or shame a child into doing the right thing. They will do it because they love you, you love them, you’ve made it fun, you’ve explained why it is important to do and they will get that yummy feeling. This is the reward that means the most to them.
If however you use star charts and rewards like chocolate, toys or special outings, the child may do the desired behaviour but they do it because they want the reward. Not because it is the right thing or considerate thing to do. They don’t learn the moral. They learn to focus on achieving, success, consuming / materialism. This is not healthy or desirable for them or society or the planet. There are already too many people wasting their lives working hard to get material possessions they don’t really need, which pollute the Earth. What is needed or more beneficial is people recognising that what really matters is family, friends, love, connection with self and others, doing what you want, being yourself, enjoying life and honouring the Earth. This is much more balanced, much healthier.
We can role model this for our children. Choose to spend more time with them and go without the fancy gadget. Your child will benefit immensely as will you. With strong connection discipline problems don’t occur and any minor issues can be resolved quickly and easily through talking about each person’s needs, feelings and desires. Get children to problem solve – identify different options and choose one. Get them to reflect on what happened, why and what could be done differently next time. This is a respectful and honouring way to resolve conflicts.
Using traditional disciplining methods (hitting, spanking, yelling, shaming, punishing) just drives a wedge between you and your child. If they aren’t allowed to express their feelings they bury it inside. But be warned you will hear about it when they are teenagers! The brain starts to grow again in teenage years and all their unmet toddler needs surface. The hormones and hurts lead to a volatile combination fuelling teenage rebellion. They are now old enough to question your behaviour and to see where you have been less than ideal. They may not respect you or listen to you as you didn’t show them respect or listen to them when little. If you treat them lovingly and nurturingly when little teenage years can be a lot easier.
If a child is refusing to dress use natural consequences. Let them go outside without a jumper. When they get cold they’ll ask for it and they will have learnt why it is a good idea to wear one. Don’t fight and struggle. Find ways to make it easy, fun. Give a child a choice – “Today you can wear this or this outfit, which would you prefer?” Or let them choose out the wardrobe. Be prepared that they may not dress the way you like – a dress up outfit, mismatched clothing – but if they are happy, dressed and warm why should you care if it doesn’t match? That’s just societal conditioning about how we should do things. It does not mean you’re a bad parent if your child isn’t dressed traditionally. Let go of such thoughts.
Let your child play and their imaginations flourish. Don’t deaden life into routine and boring normality. Let their individuality shine through. This makes you a loving parent, one others could learn from. Do what your heart tells you is right, not what your head or mind says. If negative beliefs come up, look at them, heal them. There are a range of techniques that can be used to reprogram your subconscious mind with more positive and self supportive beliefs. Psych-K, the Lifeline Technique, even affirmations if done regularly, with feeling, looking into your own eyes in the mirror can do this. They can change the belief which leads to a rewiring of your brain. Science has now shown the truth of all this.
No parent can meet all their child’s needs all the time. Everyone falls short of the parenting ideal at times. Please do not beat yourself up about anything that may have happened in the past. You can’t change what has happened but you can commit to being a more conscious and nurturing parent now. Know that love heals and leads to reconnection.
For more information see:
Association for Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPAH) www.birthpsychology.com
The Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children (ATLC) www.atlc.org
Robin Grille’s 2005 book ‘Parenting for a peaceful world’ and 2008 book ‘Heart to heart parenting’
Bruce Lipton’s 2002 ‘Nature, nurture and the power of love: the biology of conscious parenting’ DVD. Bruce’s 2001 ‘The biology of perception’ DVD and 2005 book ‘Biology of beliefs’
Steve & Sharon Biddulph’s 2000 book ‘Love, laughter and parenting’
Thomas Gordon’s 1975 book ‘Parent Effectiveness Training’ – still one of the best!
Louise Hay’s 2007 ‘You can heal your life’ DVD, books and online courses
Rob Williams’ 2001 ‘The psychology of change’ DVD and 2004 book ‘Psych-K the missing piece peace in your life’.
Joe Dispensa’s, 2007, Evolve your brain: the science of changing your mind, DVD and book.
This is a great video focused on all the topics I love! Rob Williams who created it describes it as ‘The world is in crisis and transformation. Now, our civilization has the opportunity to evolve it’s thinking. We are beginning to realize that the old ways of competition and “survival of the fittest” are not sustainable, for individuals, businesses, or the planet. Nature may be our most qualified life coach, with millions of years of experience in creating sustainability. It’s time to look to Her wisdom for some answers. It’s time to do something different! The evolution occurs when we try smarter- not harder!’
The video explores what we can learn from ancient wisdom from indigenous cultures, from nature and from neuroscience. It shows how we can change and create a more sustainable world for us all. One of the things I love out of the video is its acknowledgment of the principles of nature including interconnectedness. Rob shares some of the many cultural greetings that acknowledge this interconnectedness including:
India – “Namaste” – the divinity within me recognises and honours the divinity within you
Mayan – “In’ Lakesh” – I am another you
Africa – “Eh-ti-zain” – How is your soul perceiving the world
Lakota / Native American – “Mitakuye Oaysin” – All are related
Polynesia – “Aloha” – I recognise the presence of divine breath in you
German – “Gruss Gott” – Greetings God
He shares findings from neuroscience, physics and biology to show that scientific minds also believe in these principles of nature. For instance, Erwin Schrodinger, Nobel Prize Winner in Physics 1933, is quoted as saying “The total number of minds in the Universe is one.” While Albert Einstein is quoted as saying “A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security”
Rob explains how our subconscious beliefs affect what we think, feel and do. He shows how much of current society is based around beliefs of separateness, survival of the fittest, greed is good, etc and how these have led to the state of the world we see. He explains a scientifically proven process for changing subconscious beliefs called Psych-K and encourages people to change their subconscious beliefs to align with the principles of nature – such as cooperation, collaboration, harmony, balance, and interconnectedness. This would dramatically change the way that we operate in the world.
Psych-K is just one of many techniques now available that enable change of subconscious beliefs. I am trained in Psych-K and use it on myself on a pretty much daily basis to change any negative, self defeating or just unhelpful beliefs that I discover. It has been one of the most significant tools I’ve used in my healing journey.
Many of us are familiar with the concept of evolution at a species level. We are taught biology in school – we see the fossil record and know animals and plants have evolved over time. We see the previous species of human from caveman to now. Many of us don’t realise that evolutionary process continues. We are here on Earth for one reason – to evolve into God-self human beings – beings of love and light, living peacefully and harmoniously with each other and the planet. Using our intuition to guide us and a range of other telepathic and extrasensory abilities that we gain access to as we raise our vibration and our energetic sensibility. We are evolving just as our ancestors did. Just as the Earth does.
Our Universe is also in a state of constant change and evolution. It is growing, expanding, collapsing, growing, contracting – it is just like ocean waves rolling in and out of a shore. We too expand and contract. We have times of great love, openness, bliss and connection. Times when life is a joy, where we see the beauty all around us, have tears of gratitude and thank God for being alive. It matters not what you call God – the Universe, the Creator, All That IS. It matters not whether you believe in him/her, your higher self or not. You are part of the whole and it works whether you believe or not. It just is.
In this section of the website/blog we share stories of how the Universe works, of the evolutionary journey, of our peak experiences – our times of great light and expansion. These times are wonderful, they nurture our soul and feed us deeply. They unfortunately don’t last, just as night follows day, there will be times of darkness, times of feeling disconnected and lost, times of questioning yourself, God and the purpose of life – times of the dark night of the soul. These are the periods of deepest pain and growth in our life. These times of challenge force us to look within. They force us to slow down and pay attention. They narrow our focus to what is truly important.
We curse them, feeling it is unfair or simply unwanted. We didn’t want the illness, the accident, the loss of a loved one or a job, partner, home. We were quite happy going along in life till disaster struck. But these periods of change, sudden change, are actually an evolutionary gift, a stage of growth as you are now ready to move to the next level of love and light. Out of the dark cave we climb to find a magnificent view at the top of the cliff. Many leaps of faith are needed during these times and that too is their purpose – to help us loosen the stronghold of our minds and surrender to God / a higher power to help us, we enter our hearts and learn how to live from that space. As we emerge our heart and mind work together, no longer fighting each other. Our actions and emotions work in harmony and we live life in alignment with all of who we are.
The Earth also undergoes the evolutionary, alchemical process. She processes the stuck energy, the pollution and other detriments that result from us. Natural disasters are Mother Earth’s way of releasing this energy. They are her emotional release mechanism. Just as a toddler may throw a tantrum or cry torrents of tears, Mother Earth will have tornadoes, floods and volcanic eruptions. These balance the energy back up. After such releases there is more calm and peace within our beings. It is the same for the planet which mirrors us. As we heal our self, we shift the collective consciousness and we shift the energetic vibration of the planet. We are truly interconnected and supported as we go through this evolutionary journey together.
Channeled by Jodi-Anne (25 May 2013).
See more answers to pertinent life questions on the Life Insights page of this website.
