Why Psych-K works (4:24 mins video)
How Bruce Lipton & Rob Williams met (6:02 mins video)
High-speed mindset change (7:31 mins video)
Important information about Psych-K balances (7:37 mins video)
What does the term Psych-K stand for? (8:48 mins video)
[youtube=http://youtu.be/28Tbwe_aeK4.]
The psychology of change – explaining Psych-K (73:00 mins video)
The evolution of consciousness (28:35 mins video)
A miscarriage is God’s introduction to parenthood and connection. It gives parents an opportunity to process how they feel about being parents without the pressure of actually becoming parents. It is a stepping stone towards parenthood, an opportunity for cleansing of any negaitve energies in each the faterh and mother that may inhibit pregnancy and child birth. It is a practical, purposeful process of nature. It has meaning and reason. It is not random, nor pointless. It happens to many because many have blockages to clear before their bodies are purified enough to carry a foetus full term. There are no accidents. It all occurs as it needs to.
Healing from miscarriage involves accepting this truth – that it was a necessary step towards parenthood for your situation. It is not your fault. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it. You are okay and you will have children in future – if it is part of your life plan to do so. Your life plan was chosen before you incarnated to enable you to learn all the evolutionary lessons you chose to learn in this lifetime. It is set in stone and can not be altered once incarnated. So relax, trust and enjoy, knowing you can’t get it wrong and all that happens is for your good. It may not seem like that, but all of life’s experiences are helping you grow, leading you forth to develop a stronger connnection with your inner self, your heart and your life as a mysterious journey of evolution.
If you are steeped in grief over the loss of your baby then allow the tears to flow. Give yourself time to grieve. Plant a tree or flower on behalf of the child and watch it grow. Nature shows us the cycles of life and seasons of passing. Such a ritual and honouring can be healing. Welcome the child into your heart and talk to them.Thank them for being with you for that short time and wish them well in their next incarnation. Tell them how much you loved them and had looked forward to sharing your life with them. Let yourself carry them with you in your thoughts, day dreams and night time dreams. Let them continue to be a part of your life, for energetically they are. It is only the physical aspect that has ceased.
If you can quiet your mind ask your heart why it had to happen, what was the purpose that the miscarriage served. You may hear that it helped clear your body of dense emotions and vibrations. It raised your vibration by opening your heart to love and joy. It helped soothe your broken heart and not feel alone. The pregnancy may have brought you closer together with your partner and led to more trust and intimacy. Alternatively it may have shown you that you don’t want to be in that situation, relationship or marriage. You may have seen a need for a reordering of your life, a change of focus, work, hobbies, etc. Whatever the reason the pregnancy and miscarriage served a purpose in some way.
Try to find the positive change that resulted from the experience and thank the child for that. Thank it for choosing you as a parent and for helping you to grow in whatever way it has. Trust that it knew it was not to be born, as it was still in energetic form, connected to God/Source/Creator. It knew what was to occur and needed the experience in some way. It may have wanted a taste of life, but not a full life yet. It may have wanted to feel deeply wanted and loved. Or if your pregnancy was not wanted or joyous, it may have wanted to feel the struggle and turmoil of making a difficult decision. Whatever it experienced while with you, served it in some way. Life is not random or meaningless. There is a purpose to all that occurs. We may not understand it, but it is true, and life will be a lot simpler and easier if we accept that fact and accept what occurs. Don’t fight against it. Don’t resist what is. Don’t waste energy complaining or wondering why. Don’t go into victim mode and wallow in depression. There is no need for that. This is just another stepping stone in your life leading you forward to being the greatest version of you that you can be – the embodiment of your higher self on Earth.
If you are struggling with your grief, see a counsellor or therapist to support you and your body throguh it. Massage will help soothe you and connect you with your feelings. You could use processes like Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to help release the trauma, tension and stress from your body, so that you can open back up to connection and relaxation. Time in nature will help balance you too.
Talking with friends and others who have gone through this will help you know you are not alone, that miscarriage is quite common and that most go on to have a healthy baby. This is not the end of your parenting dreams. It is just a rock on the road, an obstacle to move through, to get to your goal.
Love yourself through it and look after your needs and those of any other kids you have at this time. They too will need extra cuddles. They will see your sadness, your confusion, your numbness and perhaps your rage if you feel it. Kids are very intuitive. Be honest with them and explain that you are feeling sad and lost after what occurred and you just need some time to feel good again. They too will go through disappointments in life and your role modelling of how to go though such a phase of life can help them greatly.
Don’t burden them with too much detail, but don’t stay silent. If you say nothing they will make up what they think it is and may think it is their fault. So tell them the truth with love and awareness and give them the opportunity to express how they feel too. Accept whatever they say, they may feel guilty as they are relieved not to have to share you with another child. They may feel confused and lost too. Whatever they feel comfort and nurture them. Take time to be together and play a lot. Let life and joy be acceptable. You do not need to stop living just because the child did. Let life go on and the child live in your heart, for energetically they are and always will be with you. Blessed BE.
By Jodi-Anne (01 Sept 2015).
This is a gigantic topic that can not be addressed in one blog. We will give some general guidance and cover other aspects in future blogs. Childhood sexual abuse is a heinous act that takes away a child’s sense of innocence and trust in the world. Whether the act was done in a violent or loving manner it rips apart a child’s identity. They are no longer a child living in a world of mystery, awe and learning. They no longer can lose themselves in the moment, they lose spontaneity and joy for life. In its place come watching, scanning for danger, for fear of it happening again. Confusion terrifies – is it good, bad, dirty, evil? Am I a bad person because of it? Why is it a secret? Why mustn’t others know? All of this takes a child out of a child’s mindset and experience of life. It robs them of their freedom to live life innocently and openly connecting with self, others, nature and life.
Each experience is different, based on the particular circumstances, but none of them are beneficial to the child. The child may feel some pleasure in the physical touch. They may feel love towards the perpetrator who is giving them special attention. They may become jealous of the other parent and sharing the perpetrator with them. This sets up an unhealthy competition between mother and daughter (if that is the scenario). Or mother may be depressed, father/stepfather unhappy and the child steps in to compensate, hoping father will stay, not leave.
There are many combinations and the above relates to incest by family members or friends of the family. These are the most common forms of incest. Strangers molesting children is much rarer. It is usually a person known to the child. Someone they trust and this also has a massive impact on their ability to trust others.
Whatever the situation, healing from childhood sexual abuse is a long and tedious process. All the various emotions have to be felt and released. The dysfunction of the family and the complicity of those involved has to be seen and acknowledged. Your parents / the adults should have been protecting you, but they didn’t. Shame, anger, rage, grief, loss, isolation, pain, all has to be worked through, before light can start to enter.
Because these events were so painful and confusing it is automatic to push the memories and feelings away when they surface, but suppressing them does not help. It just keeps them locked inside the body and the person numbed out from feeling fully. This means that they can not experience great joy or happiness either, as their feelings are numbed, on auto pilot, shut down to the bare minimum.
This all releases in time as the person learns to feel the emotions and release them. This can be done willingly or not. The body will trigger releases when it feels you are ready for them – be it flashbacks, memories surfacing, body aches / rashes, pain or emotional outbursts. It surfaces in many ways and it will impact your ability to function in your day to day life. Surrender to the process and allow the emotion to be felt and released. It will take time, a lot of time, but it will get easier as you learn how to deal with an emotional release and support yourself through the process.
Eat well, rest and get lots of sleep. Your body is undergoing massive shifts and changes. If the trauma or emotional pain was too intense it gets locked inside the body and it all has to come back out. It needs time for this to all occur. There are no miracle cures or quick answers. It has to occur bit by bit so you can cope and process the emotions that surface.
There is much healing to occur and it does take many years to fully resolve. That is the sad truth of it. It is a major impact on a person’s life and they have to deal with it the best they can. It does lead to lots of personal growth and insight, which is a good thing, but it is a hard way to get it. Especially when others around you may seem to be having a happy, easy life. So jealousy and feelings of ‘Why me?’, of victimhood, also have to be worked through.
It is a tumultuous ride and no wonder the body may struggle at times to cope with it all. Depression is common as people work through the issues. Do your best to support yourself with kindness, love and friendship. Be the loving parent to yourself that you wished your parents were. Be patient and kind to yourself, you are doing the best you can. Know it will shift in time and while frustrating, your feelings and experience is normal. It is part of the process. That is why we said it is a heinous act. It is one that destroys a person’s natural ability to live and enjoy their life. It dominates their reactions to life and the way they interact with others. All this damage, this processing and conditioning, has to be worked through and released.
Many people become over weight, even obese, as a result of childhood sexual abuse. They hide under the layers or weight, feeling more protected and safe. At some level they hope they are safer as they feel less attractive and hope no one will attack them again.
Some remain extremely thin, afraid to exist, and not accepting nourishment. They hope if they look weak, thin, like a child, people will take pity on them and hopefully look after them. The self loathing, shame and rejection of self can lead them to self harm, to punish themselves and therefore not nourish their bodies appropriately.
Some people armour up. They put layers of energetic and physical armouring on their body, which hardens them. It makes them rigid and cold and deflects off anyone or anything that approaches them. It acts as a defense, but keeps them isolated as no one can get close enough to give them love. Love would melt the armour and help the emotions to surface. But until a person is ready this feels threatening so they would push away anyone who comes close and tries to love them. They may judge those who come close as unacceptable, untrustworthy – finding some fault in them to justify their actions and rejection of them. This can be a very lonely and sad way to live.
Some channel their anger and rage into their work. They may fight for some cause, some charity, in an attempt to protect the vulnerable in society or the planet itself from abuse by man. This fight, this burning passion to save others or the Earth is due to their own buried pain and the need for themselves to be saved, rescued, loved and supported. It is a projection outwards of what they actually need. They need to allow themselves to be vulnerable, weak, and to be looked after by others. They have been trying to be strong for so long that eventually they will collapse and burnout. They will need to rest and face what is inside. They can’t go on fighting forever as they are depleting their energy reserves and no matter what they achieve in their work it will never feel like it is enough, because it isn’t what they really need. What they really need is to look inside themselves, feel the emotional pain and release it, so they can then enjoy their lives as much as possible.
Finding peace after childhood sexual abuse is possible. It is just a long journey. Call on the Angels and your Guides to help you. Find practitioners to support you – energetically with healing; your body physically with releasing; and nutritionally with vitamins. There are many different tools and techniques that can be used to support you through the process. Try different things and see what works for you. The key is to remember to be patient, loving and kind with yourself. You have suffered enough, so don’t burden yourself by feeling not good enough or getting mad at yourself.
Inside you is the scared, wounded, confused child who went through the experience. He/she needs your love and support. They need to be talked to, listened to and reassured. They need to be helped to feel safe again and to trust that you, the Adult you, will look after them. Then they can relax and play again, they can become a natural child again – free, spontaneous, in awe of life and full of joy at what they see. This then unlocks the door to your freedom to enjoy life more fully. So love yourself through it all. Talk to your inner child regularly. Tell him/her that you love them, you will protect them and you are sorry about what they went through. In time they will trust you more and open up. You can visualise with your eyes closed and imagine playing in the park with your inner child. You can eat ice-cream together and do all that you missed out on. You can have fun and form a strong connection and feeling of safety, of being loved, accepted and safe. That is important to do. It brings light into your life and the ability to have fun and play.
Life is meant to be enjoyed. Just this and other experiences get in the way. Do the work to free yourself from the past, so that you can enjoy the rest of your life and make the most of it. You can do it and it’s worth doing.
Don’t keep pushing the emotions away that prolongs the process.
You may draw pictures of how you feel releasing the energy onto paper. Whatever method works for you to get it out of your body.
Counselling can help if you find a therapist who is familiar with these issues and the complexities involved. It is not completely necessary, but for many people they have isolated themselves enough they have no one they trust or can talk to about what they are going through. If this is the case a counsellor can be that person and someone you experiment being vulnerable with, revealing your secrets and your fears, desires and truth.
Each person’s journey will be unique to them and it all takes time. Go easy with yourself. You don’t need to dig through your past trying to find clues about what did or didn’t happen. it will surface when it is meant to, when you are strong enough and ready to process it. So just enjoy your life as much as you can and know that you will remember or be triggered by others when the time is right for you to complete the next part of your healing journey.
Know that you do deserve peace, love and happiness, and you can get it. In time you will be free and you will be so grateful for that. You are brave souls on a massive journey. We cheer you on from the sidelines and we watch your progress. We hold your hands when you cry, and laugh along with you when you laugh. We are always here, supporting and encouraging you, whispering in your ear helping you to intuitively know what you need to do next. You are never alone. You are held in the arms of God and the angels. You are cherished and cared for by those of us assigned to you this lifetime. We see your beauty. We see your strength, your innocence and goodness. It is our job to help you to see them too. We love you. Blessed BE. Adieu.
By Jodi-Anne (09 Aug 2015).
Here are links to Part 2 and Part 3 of How to heal after childhood sexual abuse. Each post deals with a different aspect of how to heal.
An abortion causes a death not only to the fetus, but also inside the parents. The guilt, shame and grief that results is enormous. Some push it away, pretend it didn’t happen. Some get angry and want to blame their circumstances or the other person. Some want to die themselves or punish themselves for their choices. None of this is helpful.
What helps most is to honour the child, to love them, to thank them for choosing you as a parent and to acknowledge the truth that you weren’t willing to accept the role. Thank them for choosing you and make it clear that you were not ready or capable for whatever reasons, but you love and accept them into your heart. You did not reject the child itself. It is worthy of life, of love, of acceptance. You were just not able to provide it at the time. This is the truth that must be heard and honoured, so that soul does not feel alone, abandoned, rejected and lives in pain. Let it live in love inside your heart.
“I honour you for wanting to be with me, to have me be your parent. I honour that and I wish you well. I pray you find soul’s more willing than I, who say yes, next time you attempt to birth into life on Earth”.
Imagining them happy with new parents is beneficial. You give them permission to move on and the same for yourself. There is no benefit from getting sick, dying, staying small or unsuccessful or childless. You are allowed to be happy, successful, healthy and be a good, loving parent when you are ready.
You do not have to miss out on life just because the child did. Choose instead to do something good to honour the child. Donate to an orphanage, honour a foster child, carry a photo of your loved one in your heart, share your story with the world to help others. Make sure something good occurs as a result of the experience and the child’s sacrifice.
“Because of you I have healed my wounds and become a better person. I am no longer focused on my career at the expense of everything else. I am no longer so caught up in my head that I don’t hear my heart. Because of you I have faced my hurt and processed it. I have become a better person and I will use it to help others who also need to heal and hear their heart’s messages. Because of you I am living a healthier life and when I do get pregnant again I will realise how lucky I am and will be grateful. I will never again take it for granted or so lightly. I now realise the seriousness of my choice and the severe consequences that can result. I will not make reckless or thoughtless choices again. I will honour all who come across my path. Because of you and the pain I felt at your loss, I have learned what it is like to suffer needlessly, to be deeply depressed and to regret your choices. I will be better able to empathise with others who also suffer, due to my experiences with you. I will be a better person, Mother and therapist, because of you. Thank you for the many gifts you have given me. May you also receive gifts and blessings throughout your life that lead to your soul’s evolutionary growth. Thank you for being that catalyst for me.”
If you can find some form of the above, some form of value that has resulted from the experience, it can help shift the guilt and blame, pain and sadness. It can help awaken hope, love and light – allowing life again.
Know that every soul gets exactly what it needs to experience for its evolution. They choose what will occur prior to incarnating. So a child knows in advance whether or not it will get born or die young. This is known to the soul/spirit of the child and because it is still in spirit form before birth, it is still connected to God/Source and knows what is occurring.
Those souls that choose to be miscarried or aborted have chosen that experience. They may not be ready for a full life experience and just want a taste. They may choose to go through it to assist the Mother and bring new life into her body – the cells growing and cleansing her body of the old. There can be many reasons. The soul may choose the experience knowing it will be a catalyst to shift the parents out of their current slumber – to improve things or leave the relationship. God and that soul knows the reasons. You will too once you pass over and see the reasons for all events in your life and what they were teaching you and helping you evolve.
There are no mistakes, everything happens perfectly for the evolution of all souls. So forgive yourself, accept your choices, feel the pain and let it go. Vow to do better next time and honour the child that was and those that come after. Choose to honour the child by living your life fully. You are allowed to enjoy your life and be happy. That is what God wants for you and all souls.
You have not sinned or killed. It was not your intent to brutally slaughter the child. It is not the same as murder at all. Your circumstances, your maturity level, all led to your choice. With greater wisdom you would have chosen differently. But at the time you did what you thought was best. Do not ruin the rest of your life over that choice. Let yourself off the hook and be happy. Live fully and be a loving parent when the time is right. It truly is okay and you have been forgiven – by God, by the soul involved. You just have to forgive yourself. You can do it.
If you are struggling seek help and support from loved ones, a therapist or a support group. So many people have experienced this. It is actually quite common, it is just not talked about. You don’t have to suffer alone. Reach out and get the assistance you need.
You can use Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to help release the stress, tension and trauma, so that you can relax more, come out of numbness, depression and shut down.
TRE can help you to shake out the pain, teh dense emotion and stuck energy, so that you come back to life more fully. You can use it regularly as part of your self-care routine. Once you have learned TRE and how to self-regulate your shaking you can use TRE for free at home whenever you want to help you and your body to relax and find peace. It is well worth doing.
By Jodi-Anne (05 Aug 2015).
A child disobeys when they feel unheard, unvalued, their view not considered important enough to be listened to. A child disobeys when they don’t understand why they are being asked to do a certain thing. They rebel when what they are asked to do ‘feels wrong’ and takes them away from their joy, their heart’s guidance.
Some times it is appropriate for a child to disobey, to learn assertiveness, to set boundaries. Some times disobeying is the healthiest action they can take to honour themselves and their needs. It is not always wrong or destructive to disobey.
If it is a small child, a toddler, the best way to respond is to calmly explain why you need them to do what you are asking them to do.
“Mummy needs you to be quiet now, because she is tired and needs some rest. You know what it is like to be tired and sad, don’t you? How about having a cuddle with Mummy and a nap?”
A child will empathise with this information. They will understand why it is beneficial to you for them to be quiet and what’s more you have created a win-win situation. To the child they now have the opportunity to choose connection and receiving love / affection / nurturing, which feels good to them – and as a bonus they will get to feel proud of themselves for helping Mummy – win, win, win!
Try to create such beneficial solutions so the child gets to choose something that meets your needs and theirs. By creating a win-win there is less need for struggle or resistance.
If it is an older child, 6 or 7, then you can explain things in a little more detail. You can ask them how they are feeling and what they need right now. There is a reason for their behaviour. If you can understand the thoughts behind it, you can then discuss alternative ways of seeing situations and choices of how to react. Teaching and role modelling emotional intelligence is important.
“Remember last week when Mummy stubbed her toe on the fridge, she hopped and screamed until it stopped hurting. Mummy was tempted to throw something in anger or to hit the fridge, but she didn’t did she? What did Mummy do? That’s right, Mummy stood still and breathed deeply until the pain stopped. That breathing allowed all the anger to flow out of her and back into Mother Earth. Next time when you get angry let’s try breathing through it and seeing the anger flow out of us back to Mother Earth?
Shall we practice now? When were you last angry? What was it about? Imagine that now, can you see it? How does it feel? What do you want to do? Okay, let’s practice visualising / seeing the anger as energy inside us, see it flowing our our body, down into the Earth. Great! How did you go?”
Doing these types of activities fosters closeness between you and your child, as well as helping them build skills in controlling and releasing their emotions. Remember you are their role model, they learn from what you do. If they see you raging about traffic blocks or income limits or whatever else, then that is how they learn to respond to life’s challenges too.
Be the best role model you can be. And if you slip up and you do something less than ideal explain to them what happened, so you both learn from it and so they are not scared of you and your reactions.
“I am sorry Mummy yelled at you, but this is the third time this week that you have tracked mud inside on your shoes. Mummy doesn’t enjoy cleaning the floors over and over again. I just got upset at the thought of having to do it again, and I felt like you hadn’t listened to me. When you don’t listen Mummy feels hurt like you don’t care about what Mummy says. I know you probably just forgot and you didn’t do it deliberately. And I know you certainly didn’t do it to hurt Mummy’s feelings, but that is how I felt.
Do you remember how upset you got when Tommy kept taking your truck and hiding it? It is the same sort of thing. How did that feel to you? That’s right, you didn’t like it, you felt like Tommy was mean and selfish. Mummy felt like that too, like you didn’t care you were making a mess and that Mummy would clean it up. How about we clean it up together and we put a sign on the door at your height so that you see it before coming inside from playing in the backyard? Should we make the sign together? Yes, okay, how big should it be? What colours do we need? …………”
In this way you are teaching the child problem solving and emotional intelligence skills. You are making it clear it is the behaviour that you dislike. It is not the child itself that you are unhappy with. This distinction is very important. If you imply the child is careless, stupid, lazy, clumsy, inconsiderate, etc, then they will feel bad about them self and naturally will respond with hurt feelings – sulking, tantrum, lashing out. They will feel wounded by your words and feel bad about themselves. This is not helpful, it adds to low self esteem and feeling not good enough.
Make it clear it is the behaviour you didn’t like and you can choose to behave differently. Therefore “It is not you, just your choices that I would like to see change. I love you, I honour you, I am grateful you are my son, I just need you to help me out sometimes by listening to what I say and doing what I ask.”
Of course there are times when it won’t work, no matter what you say. If a child is over tired, exhausted, hungry there is no point trying to reason with them then. Let them rest. Let them rebuild their energy reserves, then you can talk about it.
Sometimes you need to postpone your needs being met and look at what the child is going through. “Honey, why are you so upset? You came in from school and threw your bag against the wall and stormed off into your room. Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?” This would be a more helpful response than yelling at the child for leaving his or her bag and stuff lying around.
If you take the time to listen to them and their emotions, they are much more likely to listen to yours, when you need to explain something to them. Be compassionate. Be empathetic. Be honest and sincere. And most of all be loving.
If it is a teenager who is being disobedient, you need to pick your battles. Let minor things go and only challenge them on issues that you believe are serious enough to warrant discussion.
Teenage years are very challenging for all concerned. As a teen the child is experiencing volatile changes in their body, raging hormones, they are questioning who they are and their value. “Am I smart enough, pretty enough, am I going to succeed in life or not?” They are going through a deep reflective time where they soul search. They may not like who they are or what they have in life, they may doubt their ability to have a happy life and these are heart breaking questions to grapple with. There is lots of fear, anguish, grief and anxiety. This can bottle up until it explodes out in anger or tears.
They are going through a lot so give them space. Let them know that you love them and you are here for them if they want to talk about it. They may not want to. They may feel too embarrassed to do so or be so confused inside that they can’t put how they feel into words. Honour them and this process.
Let them know you love them regularly. Let them know you are proud of them and believe in them. Compliment them on their abilities and when you see them doing something positive.
“I’m really proud of how you handled that situation. You were very polite and considerate giving that old lady the chance to sit on your seat in the bus. That was a very nice thing to do.” “Thank you for tidying up your stuff without me asking you to do it. It makes me really happy to see that you will be able to keep a neat, healthy home when you are older” “But, Mum, I just needed to find something, I wasn’t doing it deliberately.” “I know honey, I’m just glad you did it”.
If you can compliment children often, you help them to build a sense of ‘Yes, I am okay. I am a good person. I can do things’. These are all positive core beliefs which will help build self esteem and their ability to lead a healthy, happy life.
Children are no different to us adults. Some times they are wiser as they haven’t learned to filter their thoughts or ignore their emotions. They haven’t learned to suppress their needs to please others. They can be more emotionally honest in this sense – even if it is turbulent and explosive!
We all need to build our stress management and emotional intelligence skills. If you are stressed and tense take action to calm your body and nervous system. You can spend time outdoors in nature, use some essential oils, listen to some soothing music or watch a television program you like. You can have a hot bath, go for a walk, do some yoga or deep breathing. There’s lots you can do to quickly calm down and start to feel a little better.
Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) can help to shift the tension and stress out of your body so that your nervous system calms down and you balance back up. Once you have learned TRE and how to self-regulate you can use TRE at home whenever you like so that your body and mind calms down, worries less and is more peaceful.
When your body is uptight, tense, stressed, it sends messages to your brain as it feels you are in danger and that it is not safe to relax. Hence your brain scans for danger. Your nervous system is hypervigilant looking for the threat. In this wound up state it’s easy to over react to minor things.
When you’re calmer, when your body and nervous system is more relaxed it’s easier to engage with others from a more playful place, a calmer, more peaceful place. TRE can help you to down-regulate your nervous system and be in a more relaxed state which is beneficial for you and your children. TRE is safe for kids to do too, so that they are calmer and can enjoy life more.
If you get upset at your child, ask yourself ‘Why am I reacting? What am I assuming?’ You may find that you are feeling disrespected, not cared for or loved. That is your issue from your past, for you to resolve.
Your child was not deliberately disrespecting you when they ate candy before dinner. They saw candy, went yum and ate it. They feel good eating candy and wanted to feel good. That’s as complex as it gets. They didn’t stop to think about the impact or consequences of eating it and they certainly didn’t think ‘I want to piss Mum off, I know, I am going to eat all this candy, make myself sick on sugar, and refuse to eat my dinner. That will upset her. Yeah, I’m going to do that!’
Kids just do what feels good – they play, sing, dance, laugh, roll in the mud, etc. They are not plotting against you. There is no such thing as a willful child. Look at the situation from their perspective and see what they see.
Squeezing the toothpaste all over the floor is fun – it makes noises, it squelches, it comes out in patterns, it ….. If you don’t want them to do it, remove it from their reach. Remove the temptation.
And take care of yourself so that you are not exhausted and reactive. Take care of yourself so you do have the energy to listen to and play with them. Take care of yourself so you can be a healthy role model for them and so you can enjoy life. It is meant to be fun after all. Blessed BE. Amen.
Channeled by Jodi-Anne (05 Aug 2015).
Divorce occurs when two people lose their heart connection, their openness and willingness to be vulnerable with each other. They no longer feel safe enough, held enough, to express their truth. Fears and judgements come in and walls or defensive barriers come up, creating distance between them.
It is like they are on opposite sides of the room unable to touch and unable to find their way back to each other. For some this leads to sadness and despair. For others, it leads to anger and rejection. They push the partner further away in the false belief that it makes them safer, less vulnerable if they are creating the distance.
Usually, the love for each other isn’t actually lost. It’s just hidden away behind all of the emotional hurts and disappointments, the sense of loss and failure, the sense of not being enough, of having been naive to believe in the other person and your relationship.
Basically, grief takes over and becomes the dominant feeling. If a person doesn’t know how to process their grief and keep their heart open then they may drop into anger, rage, resentment or into collapse, depression, shut-down, numbness or they may escape literally leaving or fleeing in their mind dissociating from it all, pretending it’s not happening or distracting themself with addictions and other distractions.
If they could talk openly, genuinely, about how they feel and what had led to the distance between them, then they may find their way back to their heart-felt connection, their love for each other, but many don’t do this. They simply part not realising their love for each other is still there deep within.
It is a really painful process to let go of that which you’ve loved and treasured most deeply in your life. Devastating for the partners and even worse for the kids.
Before separating it is worth doing whatever you can to find your way back to your heart, to your truth and to speak openly and honestly with your partner. At least then you know you have done all that you can. If your partner isn’t willing to open up, to hear you, to speak their truth, then there’s not much you can do. Sending them love, doing loving things for them can help, but you may not be able to do this due to your own hurt.
Basically, we are wanting to soften the defence mechanisms, to bridge the distance between you, to bring you back closer together. This requires both parties to be willing to look within, to feel and to heal. It is vulnerable to do this, especially when you’re already feeling hurt.
Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) can help to shift some of the tension and stress you’re experiencing. It can help you release some of the contraction, the trauma so that you can access your heart again, your body’s wisdom and intuitive guidance. It can help you both to meet and talk from the heart, rather than from the head and ego.
TRE is well worth doing alongside self-reflection and other healing activities. These can be done on your own or under the support of a counsellor or TRE provider to assist you to find more balance, more calm and to be able to access a deeper level of knowing what you need to do next as guided by your inner self, your true essence. That will guide you more effectively than the mind and its’ ego judgements.
Divorce is not inevitable. It’s a choice people make when they see no other way forward together. Make sure you have explored all possibilities for reconnection before divorcing so you don’t have regrets or what-if questioning later on. You know in your heart what you want most. Take the risk to listen within and follow your heart’s guidance.
If after doing all this it is clear it is time to part then do so with ease, with grace, knowing that whatever and whoever is in line with your highest good will come when the time is right.
You may need to be alone for some time to heal, to start to open up and take risks again before you will be willing to let someone close. Honour your needs.
Divorce is common because it is an easy option when two people no longer feel in love. What they don’t realise is their relationship was bound to fail if they expected the other person to complete them and make them happy. That is impossible. Each has to complete themselves, find inner peace and happiness within themselves. Then two whole people can come together and share with each other, supporting each other’s continual growth. They can share their joy and love as it is overflowing from each other.
When couples join from a needy space, a space of I’m lacking something and I hope you will fix it, it doesn’t work. Temporarily it will seem to work, that your prayers have been answered, but it is false illusion. Eventually, the rose-tinted glasses will fade and you will judge the other person as not good enough, as problematic. When in reality they are fine. You are just projecting your own unfinished business onto them. You feel not good enough, so you project it out and judge them as that too. When you love and accept yourself completely it is easy to love and accept others too.
You don’t judge them as you recognise it is none of your business what the other person does. You don’t control them because you are not needy and your happiness doesn’t depend on what they do. You could walk away easily but you don’t because you enjoy watching the other grow and you don’t take their actions personally. You know what they do is a reflection of their inner workings and if you get triggered it shows you something inside yourself to heal/process. So you see challenge/conflict as a gift that leads you to more wholeness. You are teaching each other about self through your interactions and helping each other to grow. so the relationship and your love spirals upwards, positive growth to infinity, to Source connectedness.
Those that couple from a needy space spiral downwards into dark, murky depths of inner pain. The other doesn’t respond the way they want. They take it personally and take it as confirmation that they are not good enough, worthy or lovable. They blame the other for their pain instead of taking responsibility to heal their wounds. This escalates ultimately into separation and divorce and unfortunately repeating the pattern over and over if each doesn’t learn from their mistakes. Yes, their choices, not just the others choices.
It is up to each of us to take responsibility for our baggage and clear it up. Otherwise, we will never have a peaceful journey. Time alone allows the inner reflection and insight, awareness to dawn. It is good to have time being single then you can cling to your true partner – your heavenly father – who loves you just as you are. It is this love, this connection that you have been craving and fearing due to your many false beliefs about God and life.
Life truly can be fun and enjoyable if you heal your wounds and let the light in. Become whole in yourself then you don’t need another. Having someone as your partner is a bonus, not a necessity, and if they go it is okay as you know the next person destined to help you grow further will come when the time is right. You can not miss him/her. It is destined from before you were born. You made an agreement to meet at a certain time in your lives and share the journey together, supporting each other to grow, to know God, self and others as whole and complete.
This is the purpose of relationship, to help us evolve into loving, kind, compassionate beings who honour each other and share love and light with humanity. So be it. Amen.
By Jodi-Anne (12 June 2015).
Life on Earth is an opportunity for souls to grow and evolve past their current limitations into wholeness with God and the Universe. Each soul starts out with a clean slate and life after life they experience different events to learn from. This helps them evolve into God-likeness, to remember their divine qualities.
We are all born of God and have the knowledge and answers within us. We lose or forget these when we incarnate on Earth and life teaches us this information as we go along. We get to experience and feel it. When in spirit we only know it. There is a powerful difference. One so tangible that souls choose to incarnate to feel it, to know the depths of sadness, grief, despondency and the ecstasy of joy, happiness and bliss.
Earth is the only place that souls can feel these opposites, live in duality. So we keep coming back life after life to learn these opposites and become whole in our knowledge of life’s experiences.
There is no bad luck or karma as such. You agree on what you are to experience and learn and from whom before you incarnate. You make agreements with other souls to harm or help you along the way. It is the same thing really. Even someone who betrays you is really helping you. How could you learn to forgive if there was nothing done to you that was hard to let go of. How could you learn to be kind and caring unless you knew what it felt like to be treated poorly and decided not to do that to others. All of life’s experiences are designed to help you evolve and grow and they do.
Support is always available to help you through the challenging moments. You just have to ask for help and it is there. God, Jesus, the angels and archangels are all by your side waiting to support you when you ask. When times are tough ask for their assistance, ask for clarity as to what you are going through and what you are meant to learn from it. Ask them to take the burden and lighten your load. They can help shift heavy emotions out of your body and field if you are willing to feel them and let them go. Just breathe through such emotions – whether it is fear, grief, anger, shame. Breathe through it. Just witness the emotion and let it flow through you to completion. When you allow emotion to flow it can be released fully. If you hold it in or resist feeling it, it stays stuck inside you.
If you don’t learn a lesson with one person you may create a similar situation with another person. This is not a mistake. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It just shows that the lesson you are mastering is a hard one and you need to learn different aspects of it until you get it. 
There truly is celebrations in Heaven as we master our challenges and overcome our pasts, as we open our hearts to love, God, peace and happiness. For these are our natural state which we can abide in most of the time once we have learned not to judge self or others, once we have forgiven self and others and we don’t take the actions of others personally.
Life becomes an entertaining journey of witnessing the evolution occurring within each person and society in general. You are all moving forward rapidly. It is wonderful to see. Trust in the process. Life will bring you the events and experiences that you need for your evolution. You don’t have to make it happen. It is all pre-set and you can’t miss it or mess it up. It all comes to you in divine timing to assist you to awaken to the light and see the glory of life, love, evolution and God. It is all helping you evolve. Your darkest moments lead to the greatest light. They are transformational.
When you are on your knees in pain from loss of a loved one or other tragedy, it is then that you are on the precipice of change. It is then that your ego cracks open to see the possibility of God, to call out for help. You accept that you can’t do it on your own and you call out to God. God answers, gives you strength and courage to get through. Your angels and guides support you as you learn to stand despite your circumstances, as you learn to look within and find your strength.
It is miraculous how the dark turns to light as soon as you flick the switch and light up the room. Most of you just don’t know how to process your emotions quickly and effectively. You have learned to fear them, swallow them, hide them for fear of others teasing you, thinking less of you or rejecting you. When the truth is all humans go through strong emotions and losses throughout life. It may occur at different times, but all experience the gamut of experiences there is to experience. Everyone will go through loss, grief, betrayal, shame and guilt. So why not support each other, accept it as part of life. There is no need to hide it. Heal it instead! Break free of it and enjoy life. You are learning that all emotions and experiences are okay. They are part of the ebb and flow of life on Earth.
You chose to come to Earth to feel and learn what it is like to be in duality. No one forced you to come or sent you bad things. You chose prior to incarnating what you would do and with whom. You chose what experiences you wanted to learn the various lessons you wished to master.
Many of you chose multiple life themes to learn as you were eager to evolve quickly. Sometimes it can feel like too much. Rest assured you will only be given what you can handle. Support is always there you just have to ask. Reach out to others, find the right book, movie or song that gives you insight or relax and sleep. Sleep allows you to go home and access divine guidance while your body is resting. It really is extremely important that you get a good nights sleep. Don’t stay up late wasting time with TV or other distractions.
Life is about the journey of awakening, of coming to know your true self, of clearing out your baggage and emotions so that you can be your authentic self at all times. This frees you to be of service in the unique way that you can because of your unique gifts. Each of us has a purpose to fulfill and it waits underneath our personality challenges until we are ready to step forth and integrate it.
It truly is a wonderful journey. Don’t be stuck in pain. Reach past it to the light. We are here to help. Blessed BE. Amen.
Below is part 2 of the infographic explaining the concepts of neuroplasticity from the Alta Mira Centre. This infographic explains that we can train the brain and rewire it by altering how we think. It shows how mindfulness and meditation can help us create new pathways in the brain. The infographic was created by the Alta Mira Centre – www.altamirarecovery.com.
To see part 1 of the infographic – click here.
Below is an infographic explaining the concepts of neuroplasticity – that our brains continue to grow and change. They are not hardwired as was previously believed. This infographic explains the latest findings in neuroplasticity and its links to addiction, compulsive behaviours and how to change these. It was created by the Alta Mira Centre – www.altamirarecovery.com. To read the whole article go to: http://bigthink.com/ideafeed/this-nifty-infographic-is-a-great-introduction-to-neuroplasticity
To view part 2 of the infographic click here.
Jodi-Anne started her life full of pain, disappointment and shame. She felt unloved and unwanted by her parents and worked hard to succeed and prove she was worth loving. She hoped to get noticed and loved, but found that she rejected any kindness for lack of trusting it was real. She was wounded and armoured living from the mind and closing her heart so as not to feel the pain within or experience any more loss and disappointment.
She achieved many impressive promotions in her career and multiple qualifications only to realise that these did not make her happy or healthy. She realised in time that she hated her life and fell in and out of depression for many years. She awoke to God and the greater evolutionary journey in her mid 20’s. Since then she has been focused on releasing her emotional pain and baggage to return to a state of harmony and peace. She has used many different healing modalities and is trained in those she found most beneficial – Psych-K, Reiki, Light Therapy.
In an unexpected turn of events Jodi-Anne found herself returning to the role she first commenced her career with. She had loved that role and sang through each day enjoying being of service to the community as an Environmental Health Officer. She is currently reliving this experience and happy living simply and performing a job she enjoys and enjoying her life outside of work.
For the first time ever she has no desire to achieve, advance, fix, heal or change herself or anyone else for that matter. She finally has peace inside and is content being in that feeling and opening to greater balance in her life with social activities, close heart-focused friends and a love for life.
She is not seeing clients or offering healing services at this stage. This is a time of celebrating the peace within and honouring self. Jodi-Anne will from time to time post on this website. She will not however be on here regularly so do not be surprised if she does not answer emails or queries quickly. She is finally living and loving her life.
It is her hope that all beings find this peace and become that in the world, for then we truly will have peace on Earth. Much love to all, Jodi-Anne x