Category: Personal Development

What is the healthiest attitude towards money?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Personal Development

Money is not evil or bad. It is not sinful to have money. Lust and greed are just egoic states of being that souls must move through as part of their learning and growth. Money is just the tool for this learning and healing.

Money supports you, enables you freedom to do as you want and choices of how to live in life. Money is just the tool for this. It is just a tool that can be used for many things. It can be used to help yourself or others who are in need – this is God’s use of money – service with money to help the poor, the destitute and needy. This is God’s mission for all to rise above the poverty line, for all to live knowing his love and the wealth and bounty that comes from knowing you are safe, you are loved and you are held tight in his arms. No need to worry or fear, you are supplied for today and tomorrow.  It is all taken care of, relax, enjoy your life and serve.

Humanity is evolving and growing. It is moving from thousands of beings seeing themselves as separate to each other, to the majority acknowledging we are one, we are interconnected and hurting one, hurts us all. We are moving towards seeing the totality, the unity of all that is. For many it is just a concept. For some it is truth, they see, feel, hear, touch and taste it. They sense the bigger forces at play. They see the interconnection with pollution and environmental destruction on the planet. They understand the damage caused by greed and ruthless companies hell-bent on profits at the cost of nature and life. They see the destructiveness of Western expansion on local communities and indigenous lifestyles. They see all of this.

Part of the next wave of evolution is the expansion of the heart to hold all people dear, not just your family members, but all of society, which is your larger family. When you do this you automatically expand as love is felt for all beings, for life and the planet. In such an enlightened state you wish to help all, to be of service, so all flourish and succeed, so all feel the warmth and love of God, Source, Universe – whatever you want to call it.

This is the natural evolution of human life. It is occurring all around us. And as a part of that evolution your relationship with money evolves. It is no longer one of clinging and desperation for fear of lack. It is no longer one of greed and separation, bolstering up a false sense of ego self seeking outside approval and showing off to get it. Your relationship with money evolves to one of peace and grace, a confident knowing that all is well, you are loved and looked after and when you vibrate at a state of wellbeing then money flows to you easily and gracefully. You will be guided forth to do what you need to do to serve self and others, to gain the wisdom and wealth needed to implement your purpose, your God-given mission here on Earth. When you are in this state of flow and grace, there is no grasping, no forcing, no efforting, no lack. So money comes, it flows with ease and grace as does love, health and vitality.

You can see clearly how this is really about your vibration, your state of being. It is not about money as an entity or substance. Money is just one more thing in your life that is utilised as part of your evolution and growth. It is not good or bad. Same as alcohol, drugs, tobacco and other items you judge as bad, evil, dangerous and intoxicating. The substances are not the problem. It is the use of them, the emotional state of the people which leads to addiction and poor behaviour. It is the emotional state, their level of vibration that leads to the substance being used in a destructive way.

We are not saying drugs can be used in a healthy way. They cannot, they lower your vibration, interfere with your clarity and your connection to Source. We are just saying that it is how items are used that makes them beneficial or destructive. The items themselves are just learning tools, just part of the evolutionary journey. As you raise your vibration and connection to Self and Source you don’t need or feel a pull towards these lower vibrational substances.

People who use drugs and alcohol do so because they feel disconnected, they have emotional pain and turmoil inside that they wish to escape. Alcohol loosens their lips, loosens the hold of the ego mind and helps them relax and break free from the pain inside temporarily. It quietens the busy mind and the negative self talk. That feels like relief, so it feels beneficial. It is just a temporary fix, but it gives reprieve from the daily hell and torment that many people live in.

As they evolve they gain that peace, that reprieve from other sources – from being in nature, from meditation, from art or sport or whatever activity they enjoy doing and can lose themselves in. This creates space, for the mind is not so active and in that space is God, Source, no-mind, the pervading peace of Christ. It is this that we are all evolving to. Then we don’t need substances to be addicted to, whether that be money, drugs or something else.

Instead of plugging the hole with substances you can use Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to shake out the hurts underneath, to discharge the painful emotions and stagnant energy from moments of trauma experienced through life.

When you learn to heal and become your own supportive guide you no longer feel so empty, sad or angry. You feel more heard, seen, valued and appreciated. All of this lessens the sense of emptiness. It starts to fill your internal cup. You feel replenished and cared for, ready to be seen and enjoy life. When we fill the hole inside ourselves with love, with light, with laughter, we don’t need the other substances.

TRE can help you on this journey, so that you release the old and open to the new. When you do this there’s less need to consume. You don’t waste your energy trying to impress others. You’re content to just BE and enjoy life doing what gives you joy and peace.

Then money just becomes something we are grateful for, that we welcome, that we accept when it is in abundance and also at times when it is in short supply. We watch it come and go, knowing we are safe and looked after and more will come. We trust our inner guidance and know we will be guided forth to act when the time is right to be of service, and part of that will involve obtaining the money needed for us to fulfil our role. Life becomes about service, connection and love, and in that state money flows to you easily to support your mission, as you are not blocking it or yourself. You are not judging it or yourself. You are welcoming life and saying yes to it all. This is the healthiest relationship to have to money and to life. It is what you are here for. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (25 Feb 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and HEALING FROM CHILD ABUSE pages of this website.

Celebrating life – how to do it?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Personal Development

To celebrate life is to honour and accept all that is. It is to say thank you for all that has been, is and will be. It is saying thank you for all of it. I accept it. I honour it. I allow it to be my truth. I stop fighting against what is. I stop resenting what was. And I stop trying to force what is to come to be what I want. I accept God has a plan for my life and what I need most will come. Life will bring me what I need, so I heal, so I grow, so I evolve into a loving being of high vibration and can be of greatest service while I am here on Earth.

celebrate-17

Celebrating life is acknowledging life knows best. It all happens without my effort, my struggle. I can just relax and enjoy the ride whatever comes, knowing it is needed and meant to occur. The pleasant and unpleasant events, all come for a reason and I ride through them without judgement, without attachment, without misery – my thoughts are calm and accepting of what is – so I don’t feel misery or create drama.

When triggered I use the tools I have learned to process the internal reaction and return to peace. I use my breath to calm my body. I use Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to release any stress, tension and trauma. And I talk to and hold the younger me who is in pain or who has surfaced related to the trigger and needs reassurance that she is safe, loved, cared for and seen. I give myself the nurturance I need and sing through the day knowing all is well and I am being led forth by the Universe, through good and seemingly bad challenges that lead to my growth and evolution. Thank you, Universe for looking after me. I have faith that all is working out for my highest good, so I relax, trust, play, knowing all is well in the bigger scheme of life.

Instead I celebrate life. I celebrate the diversity of experiences, the learning, the greater self-awareness and the connection to spirit. I feel the vibration in and around me. I sense the love and beauty in all things. I see God’s touch wherever I go and I know I am guided forth to create my best life, to experience all that I can to evolve and grow while here on Earth.

I celebrate life and sing, not because I got my way or things worked out how I wanted because they have not. I sing because I am free. Free of the tyranny of judgement and fear, free from the misery and drama of questioning and controlling. Free from the pain of feeling stuck, lost, fearful.

I celebrate and sing because I am resting in the arms of the divine, knowing I am held and supported, knowing I walk the Earth with an army of supportive Angels and Guides walking by my side, urging me on into the unknown, into the depths of my heart and soul, into greatness, into wholeness, into unity with Self, God, life, with all there is, recognising, feeling and embodying oneness. I celebrate the lack of separation, isolation, loneliness. I celebrate the oneness that is our true nature and the acceptance of self and life that has finally occurred.

I enjoy each day, waiting to see what will occur, what growth will result, what greater freedom will occur due to healing whatever is triggered this day by the people, things, places, times and events I experience. I trust it is all leading me forth to achieve my highest potential, to embody my higher self on Earth. Such a gift, such an opportunity. For these gifts I am grateful and I celebrate life. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (17 Dec 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How to love yourself fully?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Parenting, Personal Development

Most people do not fully love themselves. They may like themselves a bit, think that they are okay, but they don’t cherish the precious being that they are. They don’t look at themselves with love and reverence. They don’t honour their bodily needs and treat themselves with the respectful thought, touch and actions that they would do for others.

self-love-healthy

Many of us have been taught to dislike ourselves. Life has shown us evidence that we are not lovable, good enough or okay. This is false evidence. It was just the interpretation of events that were not actually about you, even if it seemed they were.

Parents can rarely meet all needs of a child. It is too much to ask for. That is why traditionally they say it takes a tribe to raise a child. When one is tired and needs to rest, another steps in to care for the child. That way interactions can be mostly positive, loving, nurturing and accepting.

In today’s way of being parents are often trying to do it on their own or with occasional support from family or friends. The parents are tired, coping with work, money concerns, their own stuff as well as caring for the child. Out of exhaustion and frustration it is harder for all their interactions to be loving and kind to the child. There are times when they simply have nothing left to give and may feel resentful of the child and its needs. They may wish the child didn’t exist or they could give them away. This is just exhaustion. Just a lack of support in the way that modern life operates.

The children however can sense the above. They feel that Mum or Dad is not available, distant, angry or upset. They feel the absence of love and joy when Mum is depressed and lonely, struggling to cope. While the parents actions are not really about the baby itself, it will feel like it is. It’s not that it is the baby’s personality, the being that it is, that is the issue. It is the demands of parenthood in a time when that role is undervalued and unappreciated. It could be any baby and it would get the same response. However, as a baby and a child growing up we do assume it is about us personally. We may think ‘if only I was prettier, smarter, more like Mum, Dad, brother, sister – whoever does get the attention more easily – if only I was like them then I’d be lovable. Then I’d be okay’. This is the foundation of self loathing, self rejection and self denial. We start manipulating who we are to please others, to get approval, to fit in and receive love. It is all about LOVE.

In the early stages of life we need to be nurtured and looked after by others, mainly our families and friends who care for us and our welfare. Without touch and care babies do not thrive and gain weight. It physically damages them to be left alone and not cared for. Uncontrolled crying, being left to cry, actually releases cortisol into the baby’s blood stream, a stress hormone, that eats away, dissolves parts of the baby’s brain. It actually damages the brain physically.

So don’t let babies cry. Find a way to be there for them. Ask for help and support when you need it. Go outside into nature and let the Earth’s energy support you if no one else is around. Ensure that you do have plans in place for those times when your personal reserves are empty, when your gas tank is on zero. Have someone you can call on or text that can come help.

Do loving and nurturing things to reduce your stress levels and support your body. Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) is a process you can use at home whenever you like to reduce tension, stress and trauma. It helps you to come out of overwhelm, to calm down and relax, so it is easier to deal with life’s challenges and connect with others. It soothes your nervous system making it easier to face the day ahead and the tasks you must complete.

The breakdown of community and isolation that most people live in, makes connection so much harder. So many people are lonely, scared to reach out to others for fear of rejection or further loss and pain. Instead they hide at home with their pets who provide them with their main source of love and affection.

If so many people are feeling lonely, unloved or deep down feeling perhaps they aren’t lovable, don’t deserve love or will never be loved, shouldn’t we just all take the risk to love each other, to meet each others needs? Acknowledge we are all carrying wounds around this and beliefs about ourselves that we need to change, emotional pain that needs to be felt and released, so that we can realise we are perfectly okay as we are. Take a step today and reach out to another human being. Offer your friendship, your love, your time and see what happens. Not all will accept, but some might and you only need one or two to start with. Offer them your heart and say ‘I will love and accept you as you are, will you do the same for me?‘ You may not say this out loud, but energetically it is what you are wishing to portray. Get out there, join social, sporting, art or other types of groups. Do what makes your heart sing and you will start to feel more fulfilled and full of love as you honour yourself and treat yourself in more loving ways.

There is much that you can do to show yourself that you are loved, lovable and deserving of good things in life. Tell your friends how you feel and you will be surprised that they feel that way too. We all have some self doubt and insecurities. We all have issues we are working through. Sometimes sharing with others is good. Other times put that aside and just have fun. Just go out and have fun.

This is how you love yourself fully, by honouring your own needs and meeting them. By doing for yourself what your parents could not do. You choose to be there for yourself, to meet your needs, to rest when needed and have fun. You follow your heart’s messages and do what it desires. You risk opening up and connecting with others who feel safe and play together, honouring each other.

Love is not hard. It is our natural state, the most natural thing for us to do. We have just been conditioned to be wary of it due to life experiences. It could be school events where you were bullied or teased. It could be workplace incidents that led you to feel incompetent or not good enough. These issues can occur at any time of our life, but the seed of them is planted during our time in the womb and as a baby.

A foetus knows whether it is wanted or not wanted while growing in the Mother’s womb. The foetus receives the Mother’s blood supply and all the molecules of emotion it contains, through the umbilical cord. It carries this from the start, this knowing, and it forms the start of its identity. Preconception, pregnancy and birth truly are significant and important events which shape the personality of the child and its feeling of being loved or not, safe or not, wanted or not. These are times when tenderness and care are needed. When loving touch is needed. Ensure that these are times of love and joy, and your baby will flourish and grow with less doubts about self and his/her self worth.

deserve good lifeThe important thing to realise is everyone goes through this. We are all carrying degrees of ‘Am I okay?’ questioning. Realise you are. You are enough. You are perfectly enough exactly as you are. Find the courage to show yourself to the world and stand strong in who you are. You don’t need to play games for approval or modify yourself to fit in. Let it go and be yourself. Let it go and be happy with what you have and who you are. As you do so your inner world will flourish and your outer world will alter to match it. You are okay. You are lovable, and you do deserve the best in life. Do the healing necessary so you believe in yourself and live life freely as the beautiful human being that you are. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (8 Dec 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

What is impatience?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Personal Development

Impatience is not accepting God’s plan for your life and assuming that you know better what should occur in it.

Impatience is arrogance, wondering why you don’t have all that you want and getting angry or frustrated as you feel you have missed out. But you haven’t missed out on anything. You have experienced exactly what you needed to experience in this life time, for the greatest evolution of your soul. Trust in this. If you do trust God / the Universe to bring you exactly what you need then you can relax and flow. You can be peaceful and content. You can be happy right now in whatever circumstances you are in.

Impatience is an unwillingness to accept what is or to accept divine timing. What you want may or may not eventuate, it depends on what will lead to the most growth for you as a soul. Sometimes painful experiences are needed to help us separate from our ego mind and being totally focussed on ego goals e.g. career, success, wealth, advancement.

God works in humble ways and through humble means. There is no fanfare when flowers blossom, even though it is a miraculous achievement, one worthy of singing and exalting. Likewise when a limb falls off of a tree there is no mourning, no solemn exchange or grief. Nature just flows and accepts what is.

tree and flowerNature shows us the transitions in life, the process of birth, growth, decay, rotting and death. It shows us what we all must go through. What we all must learn from. We cannot avoid these stages completely. We can certainly go through them with ease and grace, but it is hard for most to accept the loss of their vitality or ability to do all that they used to be able to do. Many people fight death and old age, try to deny it, resist it, but that doesn’t work. Accept it as part of life, love yourself through all stages of life, all shapes of your body, trim and athletic or round and pudgy. It doesn’t matter which.

What matters is love. Are you able to love yourself and others at all times? Can you remain kind and patient when people need your help? Are you still loving when you don’t get your own way? Are you still happy and peaceful in amidst chaos, trusting it will shift and accepting it as God’s will? These are the signs of spiritual mastery. These show you your progress. The other material stuff does not matter. God does not care if you own 3 houses and a sports car. He cares if you can give your time and attention to the poor and destitute making them feel loved and accepted, and worthy of life. God cares how loving we are to ourselves, others and the Earth. God is love and wishes us to become that too.

There is no rush in mastering this. Life is our learning ground and we evolve at a rate we can handle. We will get there this lifetime or another. There is no rush, so relax, enjoy what comes, knowing it is helping you evolve. That is all you need to do.

Follow your heart’s guidance. If it is telling you to leave your job or relationship then do it. We fight so hard against the heart’s messages out of fear. What if it isn’t the right thing to do? What if i’m mistaken or naive? Most of society doesn’t listen to their heart. They are conditioned not to, so it does feel risky to listen to it, to follow its urges, especially when that requires letting go of security and control, which in reality are illusions, but strong ones the ego mind holds on to.

Will I be safe if I follow my heart? Most certainly yes. God and the angels will be by your side, singing and celebrating as you move into your true profession, being of service in whatever way makes your heart sing and your eyes water with gratitude. Noone is holding you back from this except yourself. Trust the process. Trust in life and have faith that all is working out as it needs to for your highest good and the highest good of all.

We are all evolving into loving, light filled beings. This is what life on Earth is about. It’s not about achieving material wealth or success at ego tasks. Those are distractions from the true task. The task to love more fully every day and stay connected both to God and your heart as you move through each day. So let go of impatience; and trust, accept what is and listen to your heart. It will guide you home to peace and happiness. Blessed BE, Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (01 Dec 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

The impact of a lack of nurturing and stress on the brain

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Family Constellations, Healing from child abuse, Personal Development

This (4:15 mins) video by Madhumita Murga explains how a lack of nurturing when we are young can limit our ability to cope with stress and creates changes to the way our DNA is expressed. These changes are passed on to future generations resulting in them having a sensitivity to stress.

Chronic stress damages the brain in several ways, which are explained in the video. The good news is that the damage can be reversed by releasing the stress and healing the trauma that caused it. Many stress reduction techniques can help including exercise and meditation, while therapies like Psych-K and Family Constellations can assist in healing any trauma and emotional pain underneath it.

What does it mean to be free of the past?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Healing from child abuse, Personal Development

To be free of the past means to no longer be affected by it, which means you no longer think about it, cling to it, or be affected by it in your current day to day actions. It no longer informs your thinking, attitudes or expectations of what is to occur in the future.

To be free of the past means you are completely present to the moment, living now. Your energy is here now, not split between worry about the past and future, with only partial attention on the now.

When you are present now you can notice the signs and synchronicities that occur all around you, giving you feedback about how you are progressing in life and guiding you forward as to what to do next.

When you are present to life in the moment you notice your inner guidance, your intuition, and your body’s signals about what it wants from you. Your body will tell you what food is most beneficial to eat at each meal. If you are lacking a particular vitamin or amino acid you will get an inkling to eat a specific vegetable or meat if you need protein. Your body will tell you. You just have to be quiet enough in your mind to hear it.

Likewise, your body will tell you whether or not someone is being honest with you, or whether or not you should trust them. You will get messages to go certain places with no explanation of why. If you follow the inner advice you may be shocked that you bump into someone important to your goals at that place or find the perfect book to help you along your path.

Living in the now enables you to meet people a fresh – to not have tainted views of them based on past experiences. It means you can be friendly and kind to all with no baggage or preconceived notions of who they are.

There is much to gain from living in the now and breaking free of the past. But how do you do it? How do you let the past go? You do so with every breath, every thought, every action. You do so by paying attention to your now and calling your mind back to now whenever it wanders to the past or future. You do so as a loving discipline, centering yourself back to the now with your senses – focusing on what you see, feel, hear, taste and smell.

You can use Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to help you to clear out the past energies, the tensions, stresses and traumas that have accumulated throughout your life and weigh you down.

It is these old stagnant energies that lead to our fears of events happening again. We still have the emotional pain inside and want to avoid feeling it again. it is all this past residue that keeps us away from living more fully in the moment.

TRE can help you to ‘shake out’ these old energies, thaw out any frozen shock and trauma, so that you can finally discharge that energy, let it go and focus more on your now. When your body is more relaxed and feeling safer, it is easier for you to live life from a more joyful place, connecting with others and having fun.

Your interactions with people will feel more satisfying and fulfilling as you will be connecting more deeply, intimately, seeing into each other’s soul, your essence, rather than distracted, surface chit-chat. Such deep interactions fill your cup with love and attention – you feel seen, heard, valued, loved and this fills you up.

You no longer need to scream out for attention or to be heard. You are seen and heard, first by yourself, then others. So make the effort to be more in the now. You will be surprised how much more enjoyable the day is, how much less stressful it is, and how much more productive it is. Achieve one task at a time without pressuring yourself by worrying about getting it all done. One step at a time is enough.

synchronicityYou don’t need to see the whole path in front of you, just the next few steps. When driving at night the car’s headlights illuminate the way in front of us, but we can only see a short distance ahead. We drive on trusting the next part of the road will be illuminated when we approach it. We don’t waste energy worrying if the road is there or not. We trust it is.

Similarly life leads us forth and we cannot get lost. The path we are to take is determined and we are guided to it. It is predestined, chosen before we birthed. It just plays out like a movie. We are the lead character and live through each scene, each chapter of our life. We are all held safe in God’s arms as we journey forth on this path of evolution and growth.

There are pot holes and obstacles on the road, but we are guided around them. Sometimes one’s car breaks down and we have to rest and repair it. This is all part of life. Some journeys are long and tedious, some are short and joyful. You never know what is going to occur each drive. It is part of the mystery and adventure. Even unexpected setbacks, accidents and tragedies are part of God’s plan, leading us forth, on this evolutionary journey.

Through pain we wake up to what is truly important in life. We let go of the mundane, rat-race and focus on what we really care about, what we are passionate about and makes our heart’s sing. Life is that journey to our singing hearts. Before the music is pitch perfect we have to clear out the baggage of the past and be able to live in the now. It is worth the effort. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (26 Nov 2015).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How to free yourself from fear?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Parenting, Personal Development

Fear takes hold of us when we are put into a state of phsyical danger. It is a natural mechanism designed to help us. It is the fight or flight or freeze response associated with the amygdala in the brain.

When a wild animal or cave man is attacking you, it is a good response. Blood flows away from your organs, digestion, immune system and brain and goes to your muscles, so that you have the best chance of winning the fight or out running your attacker. In this response you are helped to survive.

However, for many people their body’s are locked in fight or flight mode all the time. This is not helpful or healthy. It makes the body stressed and unable to do all that it needs to do with ease and grace.

We need to help calm and soothe our bodies back to a state of peace and relaxation. We need to let go of the tension that accumulates so readily in modern life. Rushing around all the time, trying to meet deadlines, putting ourselves under unnecessary pressure to achieve, to succeed in our jobs, our homes, our families, to have the best of everything.

Modern society measures success based on wealth and posessions. This is not an accurate description of success, for it ignores the lack of joy, close relationships, poor health, fatigue and exhaustion that comes from always being on the go.

Health-Happiness-Peace

A truer measure of success is peace and happiness. Is a person happy with their life, are they operating from their passion, fulfiling their creativity and purpose in life, are they loved, loving and kind with many close friends and healthy relationships with family, work colleagues and those they meet on the street. Do they have time to spend with their kids, who know that they are loved, important, valued and heard. Or are they waving goodbye to the kids in front of the TV as they go off to work.

Which version of life do you relate to most? If the first then it is not surprising that your body may be locked in a fearful state. There is no deep relaxation when someone is constantly on the go, rushing around. The body doesn’t get a chance to relax and recharge. Sleep may be broken and less of it than is needed for good health.

During sleep the body realigns with its natural state. With the mind switched off it can finally connect with Source and let all the residue of the day be cleared out. Some of it appears as dreams. Some of it just releases. But deep sleep is needed for this restorative process to occur.

If a person is locked in to chronic fear, they may struggle to sleep soundly, which then exacerbates the situation, as the body does not get the time to heal itself that it needs. Sleep really is very important. It is worth going to bed an hour earlier so you can sleep more. It is certainly more important than watching TV.

Most of people’s fears today are not about life and death situations. It is usually about stressful situations faced due to pushing themselves too hard in modern living – traffic, job pressures, rushing around, not having time to do everything that is needed. These are the superficial fears, the feeling like the ‘wheels will fall off’ if you actually stopped to rest. These are easily rectified by actually choosing to do less. By realising that you are living at a pace that the human body has not been designed for. So, choose to do less. Cut out unnecessary tasks and do only that which bring you joy and are truly required for you to live a happy and healthy life.

The deeper seated fears are those that come from childhood conditioning – ‘Am I good enough?’, ‘Am I lovable?’, ‘Am I acceptable as a human being?’. These are core fears, doubts about your being, your essence, that have resulted from not receiving enough of your parent’s attention, love and kindness when you were little.

toddler-mom-playing-field-istock-christingasner400

With modern lifestyles this is only getting worse, as more and more families have 2 working parents and the children spend more time in front of the TV and in childcare than they do talking or having fun with Mum and Dad.

Children’s developing brains do not have the capacity to understand that Mum and Dad are working so hard because they think they need to have the big, fancy house and cars and holiday homes, etc. The children simply see that Mum and Dad do not want to spend time with them and they assume it is because of a lack inside themselves.‘If I was more lovable, a better person, if I was more ….. then Mum and Dad would spend more time with me. They don’t value doing so, don’t make time for it, so I must not be valuable or lovable’.

This sets the scene for a fearful life with low self esteem. The child grows looking outside themselves for validation, constantly looking for evidence that their fears are real. ‘See the way that person looked at me, it confirms my fear that the world is a cruel place or danagerous place. See how that person pushed past me, etc’. These people may not have even noticed the first person and their actions aren’t deliberate or targeted, but because of the fearful thinking the person takes it to heart and draws false conclusions about the world and their safety in it.

In time with enough fearful thinking, it becomes habituated and the body goes about reacting as if it is always in danger. The day is lived on high alert, which is not healthy for the person concerned. As it takes hold the body gets overloaded and the result can be panic attacks and high anxiety levels. The body is so full of adrenalin and other fear related chemicals, that it becomes toxic and normal thinking abilities cease. The blood is flowing away from the conscious mind, locked into the primitive or hind brain in fight or flight mode. This is traumatising and exhausting.

Underneath all of this fear is faulty thinking, false assumptions about self and your ability to cope with life. Negative self messages may have been programmed into your subconscious mind when you were little, leaving you feeling weak and helpless.

From 0-7 the developing brain of a child simply absorbs what it hears, like a tape recording. What a child hears is what they believe about themselves and their abilities. It becomes the self-talk they say to themselves later on. It becomes the programming in their subconsicous mind. If a child is told it is weak, clumsy, useless, unwanted, a burden, not good enough, etc, then these become the core beliefs that the person will live with throughout their life, unless they learn how to change them.

If a child is told it is hopeless or can’t achieve, then they will struggle to be successful throughout their life. There will be this internal self sabotage due to their programming, which won’t let them be successful. Those negative self beliefs will kick in and stop them achieving their goals. Worse, it will create high levels of stress and anxiety whenever they try to achieve anything, as the tape recording in their subconscious mind will be constantly playing – telling them they are going to fail or are in danger of making a fool of themself if they try, etc.

Some people are aware of this negative self talk, for others it occurs quietly below the surface and they don’t even hear it. But it is occurring regularly throughout the day, adding to the fear and anxiety.

Over coming the fear and anxiety requires turning up the volume of the self talk so you are aware of it, then choosing to change it. Every time you hear a negative self belief, stop it, and say a more positive statement to yourself. Instead of ‘You always do that, you always stuff up’, say ‘In the past i’ve struggled, that’s true, but now i’m choosing to be kinder to myself. I can do this. I just have to practice and build my skills’. Become your own best friend and encourager of yourself.

The subconscious beliefs can be reprogrammed, changed to be positive, supportive beliefs that help you achieve your goals. There are many ways to do this including Psych-K, Lifeline Technique, Hypnosis [and] use of affirmations for long enough and often enough that the statement becomes habitual thought.

While affirmations take a long time to become habituated, the other techniques are much quicker. With Psych-K it only takes a few minutes to replace negative beliefs with more positive ones. However, lots of belief balances are needed as most people have a lifetime of negative self beliefs to reprogram. As you do, the tension in your body can release as the fearful programming is let go of. If you know you are safe, loved, wanted and cared for there is less reason for being on high alert. The body can start to relax as the danger has passed.

This deep level of core belief change is needed for this deep relaxation to occur. That is why just thinking more positively is not enough. Our conscious mind represents only 5% of our brain’s processing capacity. 90-95% of it occurs in the subconscious mind, which makes your body function without you having to think about it. The subconscious mind makes our hearts beat, our lungs breathe, our digestion work, etc. It does all of this without our having to think about it and it is so powerful it over rides our conscious thoughts. We cannot make ourselves stop breathing or not be hungry, our body forces us to breathe and to know that we need to eat. So, just using positive thinking is not enough to over come these deeper bodily reactions and programming. Changing core self beliefs is needed to help the body relax and let go of fear.

Diet and exercise also assist the body to be healthier, as does extra sleep, vitamins and minerals. There are many things that can be done to help the body let go of fear – massage can help a body in heightened fight or flight mode to relax a little and slow down.

For those that have been abused or suffered trauma, body work is very important as the person needs to learn that it can be safe to be touched. This is crucial for their body to relax and soften and allow them to feel safe again. It will take time for this relaxation to occur. Someone who has been traumatised and hasn’t released the underlying emotion may automatically flinch when touched. They automatically pull away for fear of further abuse or trauma. This is very sad, and this patterning will continue unless action is taken to heal it.

The nervous system of someone locked in fight or flight mode is constantly activated. Processes like Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) can help the body to calm by activating the body’s natural release mechanism. The body will shake out the tension and stress, if allowed to, so that it can return to a state of ease and grace.

When a person’s nervous system calms it is easier for them to relate to and connect with others, as their body is open and more receptive. It no longer fears or assumes danger from interacting with others.

TRE and other trauma release processes that focus on healing the autonomic nervous system are an important aspect of healing from fear, so you can have greater peace and relaxation.

Underneath the fear and anxiety is buried emotions from the initial events that led to the conditioning. It may be sadness or anger or shame and embarassment. Whatever it is, these emotions need to be felt and released so the body can go back to its natural state of peace and relaxation.

ocean free.jpg

Know it is possible to overcome exagerated fear responses. It is possible to heal these automatic reactions. It just takes time and effort to calm and soothe your body, to reprogram your subconscious beliefs and use more self supportive thinking and self talk patterns. Time in nature can also soothe us as can body work, diet and exercise. There is much that can be done. Enjoy. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (18 November 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Epigenetics – explaining how we can inherit trauma and tendencies for anxiety and depression from earlier generations in our family.

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Family Constellations, Healing from child abuse, Health, Parenting, Personal Development

Here is a great article explaining how our ancestor’s negative experiences affect their DNA expression, which can be inherited by future generations. For instance, if Grandma was raised in an abusive, alcoholic home or suffered some other trauma, some of that trauma and reactions to it can be passed onto future generations, predisposing them to becoming anxious or depressed.

epigenetics article

How to accept the now and not focus on past or future as the source of happiness

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Personal Development

Many people are trapped in the past. “I enjoyed life when I was ……., why can’t it be like that again? Why did it have to change?” This is victim thinking. You can’t change what happened, but you can create a life you enjoy now. Let go of resentment, regret, fear and loss by living NOW. Do something you enjoy, rather than wallowing in your mind and on your own. Go outdoors and sing, enjoy your life. It is up to you.

Similarly, many people are trapped in the future, always thinking about what will be, what is yet to come, this prevents them from living life fully as they are so preoccupied with the future that they don’t take action now. This is pointless. It wastes the now with daydreaming. If your daydreaming feels good and inspires you then it is beneficial, a part of manifesting your desires and bringing them closer to you. But if your daydreaming leaves you sad, longing for what could be and not enjoying or happy with now, then it is detrimental.

There is no guarantee that the future you envision will occur as you want it to, and even if it does, it may not be the perfect panacea you imagine. Life will always have challenges. You just have to move through them and choose to make the best out of every situation you face.

To be happy you need to acknowledge and accept what is. You need to be grateful for all that you do have, rather than resentful because you don’t have what you want most. What you want will come when you clear out your resistance and raise your vibration, so you match the vibration of your desired item, person, place or thing. It can come when you are open fully to love, to receiving, to acceptance and harmony. It won’t come while you are sulky, sad, resentful, bored, glum, depressed, etc. See this. Wallowing in self-pity does not move you closer to your goals.

If you are feeling stressed, unhappy with your now, restless or anxious, then Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) may help you to unwind all that tension so that it is easier to be in the now. TRE can help you to let go of old trauma activations, to complete them by tremoring out and moving through all those stored emotions and energies in your body from past challenging moments.

When you complete the old trauma activations, the fight or flight moments, the frozen in terror moments, the collapsed in defeat, resignation and despair moments… when these are cleared out of your body it is easier to face the now and welcome in the new.

When you are clogged up with all the old feelings, fears and traumas of course it’s hard to be here now, present, open and enjoying life.

It’s not that you’re broken, flawed, lazy, etc. You just have baggage inside you to clear up, to sort through and to discard that which no longer serves you. It’s just a task to be done. Like cleaning house. the longer we delay doing it the bigger the job is, and it can become overwhelming.

It’s best to just start. Choose one thing to do to change your circumstances and start. That might be exercising more, eating better, meditating, going out with friends or starting a hobby. Choose one thing you know you will feel better after doing it and do it. This is how you start to enjoy your now more.

You need to train yourself to take action so you will be happier with now and more hopeful of what is to come.

How do you do that if you are currently unhappy with now? Make gratitude lists, see the benefits of now. You have a home, food to eat, a job to do, friends and maybe a partner. You may have pets or family who you love and enjoy spending time with, a sport or a hobby you enjoy doing, there is nature to explore. There are many benefits/blessings all around you. You just have to focus on all of these gifts and accept the now as enough. “I am satisfied with my life”. “I make the most of my life”. “I enjoy my now, every moment”. “I accept my now and what is occurring in my life”. “I accept my life and trust in my future”. “I focus on the now, knowing that is all I need to do”. You don’t have to make the future happen. It will come automatically. There are many core beliefs/thinking patterns to change and replace with the examples given above. It really is about loving what is, not fighting against it.

Your happily ever after is a myth, there will always be challenges and growth occurring. Life is about evolutionary growth and awakening to the light, learning to be peaceful and content in all situations. If you are not content now it just shows you the potential growth you are yet to achieve.

Life does not need to be hard. You do not have to struggle or feel you have missed out on so many things. This is all just flawed thinking. You have experienced exactly what you were meant to experience. You have what you most need to support your growth and evolution. The Universe delivers the people, situations, places and experiences you need to evolve. It occurs without your active involvement. It is like a movie, the destination is preset and is just unfolding around you, revealing itself to you in each moment.

Let go of the struggle and fight, accept what is. Do this by consciously catching yourself whenever you are thinking unhelpful thoughts. Deliberately think positive, supportive thoughts – reprogram your subconscious mind so these are your default thinking patterns. There are many ways to do this – Psych-K, Lifeline Technique, affirmations, etc. Do it so that you do not have to work so hard all the time. Then you can flow with life and accept what is. Life can be a blissful party if you accept it fully and ride the wave of whatever comes. Just accept and move through every situation that comes, trusting there is a reason for it, some evolutionary growth in it. Life just happens. There are no mistakes and no wasted moments. It is all helping you move forward in life.

You can fight against it, but it won’t change what occurs, just your experience of it. So choose to enjoy it as much as you can. You are only harming yourself with your thoughts and decreasing your joy and vitality. Choose to enjoy every moment. It is up to you and you can do it. It is a choice, a practice to develop and do so much that it becomes a habit and automatic to you, like driving a car. It took a lot of effort, focus and remembering/practising to drive a car safely and smoothly, but after a while, it becomes natural, automatic. You need to do the same with your thinking patterns until they become automatically positive and helpful in creating a joyous experience of the now, of each moment in your life. That is what is needed to let go of focusing on the past or future as your place of happiness.

There is no magic cure. You have to make the effort to change your thinking patterns and take action to create a more enjoyable experience now. Do a hobby, visit friends, have fun. Don’t just sit at home wishing it was different. Take action to change your experience of life and be grateful for all you have and all that is to come. Trust God/The Universe to bring you perfect experiences without you having to force it / beg it / make it happen. Life wants you to evolve and will bring you what is needed. Trust in that and relax. Enjoy life now. It is up to you. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (20 Sept 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

Crystal light bed treatments

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Personal Development

John of God Crystal Healing Beds

A crystal light bed is a device enabling deep cellular healing that enables the release of buried emotions and issues that block a person from awakening to all they can become.

Through raising the vibration of the person, the detritus can fall away. That which no longer serves them falls off of them, like bark being shed by a tree. It falls off easily when the time is right.

crystal bed triangleThe person then integrates the shift, releases the emotions and gains freedom from past patterns and beliefs that were locked in their DNA at that lower vibrational frequency.

Freedom comes from accessing the truth of your heart and being. The truth which has just been locked away under layers and layers of conditioning, beliefs and emotional pain.

The crystal bed helps you shift the layers and unfold the pain and the past, so insights surface and freedom from the past occurs. It is a true gift from God and the entities of light who work through it to assist each individual to receive whatever it is that they need at that moment.

The crystal bed frees a person from the emotional, spiritual and physical density that is held within their bodies. It enables this weight to drop off and light to take its place.

Each colour is a different frequency of light that balances the chakras and meridians in the body. The light enters the cells providing the energy required for the body to heal itself—the resources needed for the body’s own healing mechanism to kick in and come back to life. The body will heal itself when given the resources to do so.

Often emotional and spiritual healing has to be done first to enable the shifts in the physical body. This will all occur naturally in the days following a crystal bed treatment as the entities of light continue to work with the person at the pace the person is ready for.

The process is gentle, however, the emotional residue to resolve can be harsh. This is up to each person to process. Emotional pain can not be magic-ked away. It has to be felt and released, so that the energy leaves the body. In time forgiveness and peace will descend onto the person, but there may be a dark night of the soul experience first as the emotional pain, blockages, repressed memories and experiences long forgotten surface to be healed.

You don’t need to know or understand everything. Just trust what occurs is what is needed to clear out your system to enable it to hold a greater frequency of light.

As you stabilise in the new vibrational level you will notice shifts in your outer life as like attracts like. Heavy painful experiences will not come in the same way, as vibrationally you are no longer a match to them. You are lighter and you attract lighter experiences.

Tragedies will still occur, but you will no longer experience them as such. You will see the light in all things. It will be easier to move through situations and to see the healing that comes from all you experience. For it all truly happens for a reason. There are no coincidences or mistakes. All happens to awaken you to the now and the higher consciousness of life and your purpose while here on Earth.

Your life is not for you to gain egoic wealth and happiness. It is for you to grow spiritually rich and self aware, to come into a state of self love and acceptance, from which true riches will then flow—to be authentically yourself, knowing that is enough. No need to please anyone else or impress them. Just relax and be. Be content and happy knowing you are awakening to God’s love and the God within you.

Casa Dom Inacio, abadiania, Brazil
Casa Dom Inacio, abadiania, Brazil

The crystal bed helps a person to achieve this through dropping away the false layers, the egoic myth. Insights will come, glimpses of the bigger picture of why we are here on Earth. It is a portal to the higher realms and higher consciousness, subtle but profound, fun and easy to do.

When you are ready to face your past, release your feelings and move forward, the crystal bed can help. Lie on it fully clothed and receive the light, open to the healing and surrender to God’s will and purpose for your life. Welcome home. We await you with open arms!