Hi everyone, here’s a video looking at how do you free yourself from fear. I hope you find it useful. Many blessings to you, Jodi-Anne
In this video, Jodi-Anne explores ‘How do you free yourself from fear?’ It is one of over 100 questions she has asked about life and channelled an answer through automatic writing. All of these answers to questions about life, how to live peacefully and happily are available for free on the ‘Life Insights’ page of her website.
When unexpected events occur it shakes your foundations, your normal way of being. If you feel uncertain, unsafe or scared then your nervous system will react with either fight, flight or freeze responses.
People who get angry at what is occurring, who rage that more should be done are having a ‘fight’ reaction. The adrenaline and cortisol pumping through their veins fuels an aggressive reaction.
There may not be an enemy that can be fought. In this case, you can’t fight the Corona Virus in the traditional sense. It doesn’t have have a physical body for you to face up to, seething and threaten it and go several rounds in the boxing ring.
This is what those in a fight response are ultimately wanting to do because the act of fighting uses up the adrenaline and cortisol enabling them to calm back down, for their nervous system to regulate.
Without the fight, the cortisol and adrenaline stay in their blood and gets stored in the body as tension, tightening of muscles, clenching of the jaw, etc.
It takes emotional awareness to notice what is occurring and to take action to self-soothe, rather than lash out at others with the upset that you have. Be aware many people may behave in ways they normally wouldn’t as they are in ‘survival’ mode, feeling unsafe and a need to protect themself and their family. To some, it may literally feel life-threatening, so their behaviours may be extreme.
Those who react with a ‘flight’ response will want to run away to escape the danger. They will find it hard to be still and being locked in their home may feel stifling and like being in prison.
The cortisol and adrenaline in their system are priming their muscles to run, run, run, so it’s almost impossible for them to meditate, relax, deep breathe, be still and enjoy the chance to rest and strengthen up. The flight reaction of their nervous system is telling them it is not safe to relax and enjoy the time at home.
Even though they may consciously want to relax, they can’t. The reason for this is that the ‘survival’ mechanism is a different part of the brain, the hindbrain, that takes over when we’re in a fight, flight or freeze response. The neocortex or rational thinking part of the brain gets suppressed.
Evolution wise this made sense. When a lion is about to attack you it doesn’t help you to be able to talk to it or to think slowly through all your options, the pros and cons of each, to decide what to do. You need to react instinctively and quickly in the face of danger, and that is what the limbic system does. That’s why it is so hard to think clearly and express yourself if you’re in a heightened nervous system reaction with high levels of a fight, flight or freeze response occurring.
Those people that have a ‘freeze’ reaction are instinctively hiding and holding still, hoping that the lion won’t see them. They hold their breath, breathe shallowly and slow down their internal bodily reactions, coming to a place of panicked stillness in the hope that they won’t be seen.
They may dissociate from their body, literally escape it by focusing elsewhere in their mind, off in daydreams or splitting off part fo their consciousness.
They literally jump out of their body, like energetically floating above it. This is the out of body experience people can have during a near-death experience. They see their body from the perspective of being outside of it. They’ve been so scared, so terrified of death, they’ve jumped out of their skin.
This too is part of the ‘survival’ mechanism. If the lion was about to eat you, you don’t want to be fully conscious in your body and feel it, so you jump out. The body also gets pumped full of opioids which numb you, so you don’t feel yourself being eaten or killed.
That’s why some people will seem numb, not fully present, not with you when you try to talk to them. They’re not. They’ve escaped. This can be dangerous as someone who is dissociated from their body can be accident-prone. They’re not paying close attention to what they do. It takes them longer to notice that they’re touching the hot kettle and it’s hurting them.
They may be forgetful. If you are dealing with someone who has dissociated, numbed out, know it’s not that they don’t care. They have switched off out of panic, out of terror, feeling like death is imminent. We need to help such a person to reconnect with their body, to bring them back to the present moment gently, compassionately.
Don’t expect too much of them or ask them to do anything complex. They simply can’t. Until they calm back down they can’t concentrate and be responsible for others. This is where compassion and understanding can help prevent any judgements, arguments and accusations. When you know what is occurring you can adjust your expectations to help the person to recentre, to come back into their body.
Looking them in the eyes, holding their hands or feet, talking to them softly, this will gently invite them back into connection with their body. Standing on the grass with bare feet will help them to ground. Touching things, smelling things, tasting things – reengaging the senses will help bring them back. There’s a lot you can do to assist such a person.
Essential oils can be very calming and again help you to connect back to the present moment. The olfactory bulb is connected directly to the limbic system, the emotional part of the brain, so smells quickly alter how we are feeling emotionally. Within seconds a comforting smell can result in a little or a lot of relaxation.
Gentle movement can help a person who is coming out of a freeze response. Whether that be yoga, tai chi, qi gong. You don’t want to do heavy aerobic exercise as that ramps the body up. You want to do gentle, calming exercise so the person feels safer.
One process that can help with all of these reactions – fight, flight and freeze – is Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE). It is a series of gentle exercises designed to start the body’s automatic stress, tension and trauma release process.
The body has a built-in mechanism to ‘shake off’ tension, stress and trauma. The shaking uses up the adrenaline and cortisol from the fight, flight, freeze reactions and it enables the body to calm back down, to drop out of a parasympathetic freeze reaction or a sympathetic fight or flight state, to the calm parasympathetic state where we can connect and relate to others.
It’s a natural process available to all of us. If you would like to know more about TRE you can visit my TRE webpage, the TRE Australia website or the global TRE website.
I can teach individuals TRE as part of an online appointment or an in-person appointment. You can then use it to help your body calm and relax whenever you need to. It’s a great self-care tool that not only helps you to come out of a heightened nervous system state but also helps you to open up and expand.
When your nervous system calms, it no longer sends your brain signals that you’re in danger, so the mind relaxes too, and the defensive mechanisms that you’ve used to protect yourself start to soften. They start to loosen up so it’s easier for you to choose to think and behave differently than you’ve always done. You’re no longer fighting against yourself so much.
When we’re in a defended state we may consciously want to change or start a hobby or change our life, but internally our body resists it, subconsciously thinking and reacting as if the change is a threat and should be avoided, hence the resistance and difficulty taking action.
When your nervous system is relaxed and calm, and your body is feeling safer, you don’t have so much resistance. your body actually wants to connect with others and enjoy life.
It is my hope that this blog helps you to understand the various reactions that those around you may be having during this challenging moment in time with the Corona Virus. It’s not that people are cold, callous, uncaring of others. They’re just reacting in survival, feeling a need to compete with others in order to survive. They want the toilet paper, food, etc to ensure they and their loved ones are okay. This is part of our primal, instinctive reactions when we’re in a fight, flight, freeze reaction.
With empathy and compassion, we can help each other to calm, to do the best we can through all of this. Try not to take people’s reactions personally and do what you can to help yourself and others to balance up, stay grounded and enjoy these times as much as we can. Blessings to all. Namaste.
By Jodi-Anne (28 March 2020).
When someone you love commits suicide it shatters your whole world. You wake up feeling like nothing will ever be the same again, and that’s true. It won’t be. Your life has been irrevocably altered.
You will have many, many moments of questioning “If only I’d done this….. if only I’d told him/her I loved them more…. If only I’d spent less time on my own goals and more with them”. Stop this. This is just torturing yourself. You can’t know the reasons why this has occurred. Even if a note was left it will only be part of the picture.
The truth is that this beautiful person was struggling to the depths of their core and couldn’t see a way out. They saw no other option than to leave their body as a way to end the pain.
Unfortunately that doesn’t work. You carry the pain with you to the afterlife and as a soul you reflect on your life, you see the pain you have caused others, you see where you could have chosen differently, and you feel all your regret, shame, anger, embarrassment and sadness over it all. You take the time to reflect, to realise, to learn and grow with the support of the Angels, Ascended Masters, your ancestors and Guides and then when you feel strong enough and ready you reincarnate into another lifetime with similar circumstances, so that you can choose differently.
You keep doing this until you find a way through, till you evolve or grow with love into Godlikeness, into mastery of that situation, that challenge and then life will bring you another lesson, another challenge to work on.
That is life. That is what it is all about. So the end of your current life is just one chapter in a very big book. It is not oblivion. It is not eternal damnation. It’s just a pause along the way that is the journey of that soul’s life.
So when someone you love has died by their own free will, there is nothing you can do to change the fact that it has occurred.
Your lesson, your challenge is to stay here too, to not give up, to not escape the pain through addiction or self-harm. Your challenge is to be loving and kind to yourself and others around you, while you all grieve and go through the stages of denial, questioning, bargaining, raging, grieving and accepting what has occurred. It is a process. It takes time, lots of time.
But to do it as gracefully as possible requires you to sit in stillness, to go within and feel your pain, to love and hold the parts of you that are struggling, to comfort yourself and give yourself the space you need to adjust to this change in your life. Cancel your to do list, rest and BE. Give to yourself the time and space you need.
Your loved one is still with you, watching over you in spirit. They see the pain they’ve caused, that is part of their lesson. They realise the damage they’ve done.
You can help them by helping yourself move through it as quickly as possible, and this happens when you are honest with yourself and them about how you feel. So have conversations with the deceased person. Close your eyes and imagine them in front of you, talk to them, hug them, hold them, empty out the grief in your heart, tell them all you need to say. You can tell them your ‘if only’s’ and see if they respond. They may tell you there is nothing you could have done.
When someone is stuck in that much darkness, even if someone comes in shining a light they can’t let it in. It seems too foreign, not a match, not a puzzle piece that can slot into place. No matter what you attempted, the same outcome would have occurred in this lifetime and the proof of that is it did occur, the person ended their life.
If we believe that God has a plan for us all, then we have to accept that suicide, as horrible as it is, is also a part of God’s plan. It is one of many dark choices that people face along with committing crimes, killing others, raping or torturing others, etc. There are many hard lessons that people go through, the challenge of resisting and doing their best.
Sometimes they get so depleted, so exhausted, so filled with a sense of hopelessness that they say “That’s enough for me this lifetime. Take me home. I will try again another time, but for now I’m done.” That is what suicide is. It is opening your arms up to God and saying “I can’t do this one, please bring me home to rest, to strengthen up, before I try again”. We all go through moments of despair. Some we find a way through. Some we don’t.
Suicide is not a massive sin as has been preached in the past. It is just a giving up on this game, this lifetime. It is not a finality, just a stepping stone in the journey and it will continue on.
Yes, the soul will have to work through all the pain leading up to the event and that which is caused to others afterwards. It’s not easy, but it is the redemption that leads to the growth, and there are celebrations on high when the soul finally does master the lesson and makes it through. Even if still only a partial joy in life, if they manage to keep living their life they will be led forth to find peace and happiness. It can take many lifetimes, but the person will always be supported along the way by their Guides, their higher self, and their Angels.
Try to understand suicide is not wrong. It’s unfortunate and unnecessary, but it is an option provided to us all if we feel we can’t proceed.
That person who is now in spirit will be okay, and what they long for is that you too will be okay, that you will find a way through to find peace and joy again in your own life.
They don’t want you to be damaged or adversely affected by their choice. Do something in honour of them so that you are growing and advancing, make a decision to live more fully, to honour your heart and its needs.
Use their experience to motivate you to live your life more fully, more beneficially for you and others. If you need to change jobs, move, travel, take a risk to let people close or to reach out when you sense someone is in pain, do it.
Do whatever you can to make something good come out of this experience, then you are creating a positive legacy as a result of your loved one’s choice and that pleases them, then they can relax knowing you are okay, and something good has come from it all. That reduces the burden they feel.
So if you want to help them, help yourself. Honour yourself and your needs. You will get through this. Just take it day by day and honour where you are at. Honour your needs. If you need to rest do so, the dishes can wait. It’s okay if the house is a little dirty, or you’re eating ‘take out’ for a while.
It’s okay to ask for help if you need it. Let family, friends, and/or a therapist be there to assist you on your path, as you learn to keep moving forward, to see that there is still goodness in this world and that you can find peace and happiness again. Blessed BE. Amen.
Channelled By Jodi-Anne (16 July 2019).
This is a topic many of you struggle with. Finding out that someone you love is dying soon or slowly in pain, terrifies you all. It breaks your heart open and you feel temporarily lost as the normal layers of protection over the heart are dislodged. You feel vulnerable, exposed, scared, and lost. Many want to run and hide, put the defences back in place and forget the news that shocked them.
Others want to rush to the person to comfort them, to assist them, to be with them. Some do that. Some feel so awkward not knowing what the best thing to say is or to do. They feel frozen in terror unable to decide. This is shock. It is the freeze or immobilisation state. You need to calm and soothe your body, so it can relax back into its normal state, before you can be of use to yourself or the person who is dying.
The news which is always devastating serves as a catalyst shaking up all who hear it. It gets them to question how they are living their lives.
You automatically wonder what it would be like to have received a death sentence like that yourself or for it to occur to those you hold dearest – parents, partner, or children. You try it on in a sense. You try to imagine it or feel it. You do this as you are trying to make sense of the implications, trying to understand how the other person feels and how you can help.
Do not torture yourself guessing. Simply ask. You can say to the person “I’m having difficulty accepting the news. I’m so sorry you are going through it. I wish I could change it. Please tell me if there is anything I can do that would be useful for you. I don’t mind what it is. I just want you to know I love you and I’m sorry you are going through this.”
That is the truth of the matter. Don’t burden the person with how you feel or what it has brought up for you. Try not to put on a stoic face, emotionless and soldier on through an interaction with the person. They don’t need any coldness.
They need warmth, closeness, to know they matter, that they have made a difference in your life and that they will be missed. Helping them to feel loved, seen, accepted, and cherished is the best thing you can do.
Let go of your fears and just be there, if it is appropriate for you to do so. You can offer, but accept if the person says no, that they would prefer to spend their remaining time alone, or with their family and closest friends.
You don’t have to turn up on the door step and camp out. It isn’t necessary. You don’t have to feel guilty for living your life or having fun. You don’t have to sacrifice your wellbeing. It won’t help the other to live longer.
If you do notice yourself falling into unhelpful patterns, stop, listen within, and send love to the part of you that is scared, hurting or feeling vulnerable. Talk to that part of you and comfort them.
Remind them that you’re not in trouble here. You didn’t cause it. You can’t control it. And you can’t fix it. It’s not your responsibility, and it’s okay to be upset. Comfort that part of you and find peace with what is.
It’s okay to rage at the sky or God, to say how it seems unfair or you wish it was different. It’s healthy to let the emotion out. Whether its fear, anger, rage, sadness, despair, guilt for being healthy, etc. Just acknowledge what you feel inside and love those parts of you, so that you can come back into balance.
Know that in time it will be you or someone closest to you. Death happens to us all. We can’t prevent it, but we can choose to live our lives more fully, so that when death does come knocking, and it will, that we can open the door and smile saying “I’ve got no regrets. I’m ready. It’s okay you’re here.” To not fight against what is.
When it is your time, it is your time. No amount of begging, crying, bargaining will alter it. We all have an allotted amount of time here on Earth. We each have the choice of how we spend it; of how much love we share and how much good we do in the world. Do what feels right to you and celebrate your life.
Thank the person who is dying for all they have shown you, for being the catalyst for your healing and learning to love even when it’s painful.
Thank them for all you have done together and shared. Tell them your favourite memories of them and your time together. Help them to see the goodness of their life, to feel a sense of “Yes, I’ve used my time well. I have mattered. I have loved, and I’ve had some fun”.
Help them to celebrate their life so that they can ease into their transition more peacefully. Of course you can only do this if the person is willing. They may have anger, guilt, resentments, grief, etc. that they are working through. They may feel a victim, abandoned by God. They may be thinking it is unfair or refuse to even acknowledge their situation.
Some choose to soldier on living life as normally as they can, until they drop dead. Others decide to party, travel, make the most of their remaining time. Some have no choice, bedridden and in pain. We do not have control of what occurs and when. We only have a choice in how we respond to it.
Just talk to someone who is dying and accept where they are at, whatever stage of the mourning process they are in. Accept where they are at and be there as much as they want you to be. And celebrate your life, your time and your options.
Thank this beautiful person for reminding you that life is short and you need to use the time you have as wisely as you can. Thank them, love them and let them be however they choose to be. It’s their life. Their rapid process of clearing, realising, feeling, etc. as they wind down and close off from this lifetime.
Yes you can talk about what happens after death, but be respectful. Everyone has different beliefs. Some won’t want to talk about it, and some may be desperate to do so, wanting to prepare themselves for the next chapter.
Know that you are all taken care of. There are Angels, Guides, loved ones who are departed, who will meet the person when they cross over. Death is not the end. It is just a waking up out of the body and ego, back into the fullness of who you are.
Your higher self, soul self, is magnificent. Part of you has been on a journey here on Earth to learn and grow. You already have the fullness of life, but you step down into a body to experience it, to feel it, to go through duality.
In the other realm there is love, fullness, oneness. There are no opposites. You come to Earth to experience the opposites, to feel loss and pain, and love and joy.
You come to Earth to advance your soul’s evolution and learning, through living out various experiences. Each lifetime you choose a different focus to explore and hopefully master. If you don’t, you come back again and have another go.
This is not the end of your friend’s life. It is just the end of this chapter. Her book has many, many chapters already lived and more to come. So don’t despair, know that what is meant to be will be. If she is to live longer she will, but if it is her time then that is final, but she will live on in your hearts and memories.
She will also live on in spirit as she explores the other realm, and eventually when she is ready she will choose to return to Earth to undertake her next adventure in duality. All is okay. Just accept what is and breathe through any emotions.
You know what to do. Just be as kind and patient and accepting as you can be, as everyone will be going through deep emotions as they adjust to the news, and work out what they want to do to assist this beautiful person in her final days on Earth. May you all find peace in your hearts. Blessed BE. Amen.
By Jodi-Anne (11 May 2019).
To stop reacting from the past you need to let go of old hurts and realise that the actions today are not related to the past. The person with you today is not the person from the past. They do not think, react or explode like the person in the past. Any similarities are there as triggers to help you release your past residue. They may have some similar traits, but it is not the same.
In the past when you were hurt so deeply it was because you were a child and felt helpless to control or shift what was occurring. You couldn’t escape the pain unfolding in your childhood home. You couldn’t leave. You couldn’t heal the adults or talk them into a better feeling state. No matter what you did to make life better – being quiet, cleaning up, being funny or cute or getting good grades. No matter what you tried you couldn’t shift what was going on inside the adults involved. It was up to them to heal themselves, to take responsibility for what was occurring and to do something about it.
Likewise, if you are still expecting the worst, reacting to your partner or others as if they are that past person, then it is your responsibility to shift the feelings and patterns inside yourself.
Your partner is allowed to behave the way that he or she does. They are allowed to have their ups and downs, their challenges and time required to find a way through them. They are allowed to be human and imperfect. They are allowed to be who they are with their quirks, habits and abilities – good and bad.
As long as they are not abusing you or being mean to you, you have no reason to truly be upset with them. It is not their fault that you fear the worst. It is not their fault you expect World War III whenever they get a little upset. It’s not their fault if you misinterpret their reactions and feel unloved, ignored or left behind. It is not their fault what is going on inside you. That is your area of control and responsibility.
Let the person off the hook. They haven’t done anything wrong. They are just being themselves and you are triggered by some of their behaviour. The trigger is in you and it is occurring to help you see there is some wounding in you that needs to be seen, felt and released.
So thank the person for showing you your route to freedom – they have shown you where you need to focus your healing energy, so that you don’t automatically react with fear around them or others, so you don’t live on egg shells waiting for the walls to crumble, so you don’t live tensely waiting for the moment to run and hide.
That high level of preparedness, of reactivity, is bad for your health. It not only impacts your ability to enjoy life. It impacts your immune system and digestion, and many other bodily functions. Instead of being in rest and digest mode (parasympathetic nervous system), you are in fight, flight or freeze (sympathetic nervous system) with adrenaline and cortisol pumping through your body. Blood is diverted from your organs and into your periphery, your muscles so that you can react instantly.
You need to calm your body down. You need to come out of hyper-alertness, hypervigilance and relax. Easier said than done! There is an alarm going off in your head shouting “Danger, war. React”. But really there is no danger, no war. No need for overreaction.
The work that needs to occur is inside you. It is not your partner’s responsibility to fix what is inside you or to not trigger you. If the pain is inside you then you will get triggered. Even if they altered their behaviour you will get triggered by something else because the pain is inside you.
Leaving, being on your own, isolating doesn’t resolve the pain. It just avoids it, delays its resolution. So it is best to stay and face it, unless the relationship truly is toxic and abusive, then you should leave for your sake and your children’s. But if there is love, if there is tenderness, closeness, compassion – some of the time – then the relationship is a beneficial one.
It will never be perfect, no relationship is. Each person is here to evolve and grow, so they will have times of feeling stretched, triggered, lost and despairing.
It is the path to freedom – to feel these things and move through them. That’s the challenge to move through it so you’re not constantly reacting the same way to the same thing.
When triggered remind yourself this is not the past, this is not the same, this is not my parent or whoever it was who did abuse you in the past. Remind yourself I’m not a little child anymore. I do have power. I do have choice and I choose to support myself through this reaction. I recognise this is my stuff. It’s not about the current person and his actions and reactions. He/she is okay and probably doing the best they can right now, same as me. I’m going to honour us both.
I’m going to sit and breathe and let these feelings flow out of me. I’m going to do whatever I need to, in order to honour myself and my body and balance back up. I’m not going to beat myself up for reacting.
I’m going to speak softly and soothingly to the younger part of me who is hurting and hug them, hold them, comfort them, help them to let go of the past pain and see that it’s okay now. It’s safe to relax and have fun. I’m going to invite that younger part of me to rest in my arms, or a garden, or a fun place in my heart; to see that they are cared for and loved, and safe and protected. That’s my job as the adult that I now am. I need to look after me, so that I do feel safe and can let go of the past.
What happened in the past is not occurring now, but it feels like it is as the trauma is still present in my body. I have to help my body let it go and I do that by being kind and gentle with myself, and my partner or whoever it is that has triggered me.
I am the one who got triggered. Therefore it is me who needs to do something to feel better. It is not about them changing. It is about you altering your inner reactions so you do not trigger so easily. So stop blaming, judging or condemning the other person, and focus on healing your inner world.
Do what is needed to soothe your body – spend time in nature, have a bath or foot soak, have a massage or other form of body work, rest, draw or write to shift the energy out, relax, rest, meditate, listen to soothing music, smell relaxing smells – essential oils, incense, cooking. Do whatever you need to do to look after you.
And know that each time it happens you are letting go of the old so you can be present to the now, to be here now, not dragging along the past in your back pack or body. In this sense it is good that you got triggered, so you can clear out more of the past stuck within you.
You may resent the fact it is still occurring, but the truth is it needs to occur to help you heal, to give you the opportunity to honour yourself. And the more pain you went through, the more there is to be released. It just is what it is.
Don’t fight against it. Don’t resent it or the other person – that just prolongs it. Do what you need to do to find peace. That is the most useful thing to do. There are many tools and techniques you can use to release stress and trauma out of your body, but listening to and honouring your body and its’ reactions is a very, very good start and it is free. There is no need to see a practitioner, unless you want to or feel that you need help to build the skills to self soothe.
Whatever you do, choose peace and kindness for yourself and the others involved. Each is doing the best they know how with their current mindset and feelings. Each is serving the other with what gets triggered and each can help the other as they move through their releases by just being there and accepting the process.
No one needs to be rescued. Just seen, loved and accepted as they are. Give each other that gift and in time you will blossom.
This is just residue releasing so that you can be more present to enjoy the now together or apart. It matters not. Free the space within you, so love can fill up the space previously occupied by hurt, loss, disappointment or grief. Let it go and let love fill the space. You can you know. It is worth the time and effort to do it, so you can enjoy life more. Blessed BE. Amen.
By Jodi-Anne (24 February 2019).
Many of you live inside your minds disconnected from your bodies. You eat, you sleep, you do all that you do without much feeling or awareness of what is truly going on inside you. Your body may be screaming at you saying “I need rest” or “I need exercise”, but you don’t hear it. You are too busy rushing from one task to another or numbing out so you don’t feel your unhappiness with your life.
Some people numb out with food, others alcohol, work, computer games, Facebook, etc – anything that helps you escape and not have to look too deeply at what is going on inside, behind the curtain so to speak.
Your body has great wisdom to share with you, but most people have learned to ignore it. They don’t want to acknowledge they are unhappy with their work or their relationship. They don’t want to face the consequences of that truth as it is scary to contemplate changing jobs, leaving a marriage or following your passion in a different direction.
The loss of security, certainty, safety feels too threatening, so we eat or drink or do whatever action we need to distract our self from that niggling sensation inside and the truth of our being. If we disconnect completely we die, so most of us maintain a minimal connection. We can feel a little, but avoid feeling a lot.
Some have dissociated from their bodies due to trauma. It is like they float above and outside of the body, connected by a thread, just watching, waiting for the next traumatic experience. Such a person lives in fight, flight, freeze, flop. They are rarely relaxed or enjoying life. Their life force energy is used up by the hypervigilant nervous system constantly scanning for danger. Such a person is hardly connected to their body at all and can let bad things occur without feeling it.
They may eat to excess to the point of becoming obese. They may have sex with strangers and not really be present during it. They may walk into the path of oncoming traffic without realising they have done so. When you’re not in your body you are risking your health in more ways than one.
Eventually the body will get sick. How sick depends on your fate and your determination not to listen to the body’s messages. If you constantly ignore your intuition or your truth that you are unhappy in some way, then your body has to ramp up the message so you will listen.
It tries many ways, but if you refuse to hear then illness, accidents, near death experiences may occur to get you to stop and pay attention. Much better to face the truth before then, to listen to your body, to ground within it and become at peace with yourself and your life.
Many people feel helpless to change their circumstances, hence they avoid it. Start by just acknowledging what is – “I don’t like where I’m living or what I’m doing. I’m lonely and scared. I hate myself and what I’ve become ……” It may not be that severe, it may only be “I wish I hadn’t done X,Y,Z. If I hadn’t I would be in a better position now. If only I had…..”. Any of these types of regrets, resentments, self loathing will lower your energy and if the pain is too great you will numb out in some way.
It is like our bodies are full of ice. All that unmoving emotion frozen within. To start thawing it out we need to acknowledge it exists. “Yes, this is how I’m feeling. I don’t know what to do about it yet, but this is how I’m feeling”. To even just admit that helps so much. It may let you breathe a bit deeper, to see within a little more.
Then you can consider options. “I’m not ready to make a massive change in my life yet. I know I could, but I’m going to be kind to myself and take it slow. I’m going to support myself as I learn how to respond to this and as I listen for insight and guidance as to the next best steps for me to take”. Become your own best friend.
Slow down and give yourself a chance to rest, to integrate and strengthen. Spend time in nature and let it soothe you, replenish you, guide you. Pray and ask for guidance and support from God or your Higher Self, your Guides of Angels. Who or whatever you are comfortable connecting with. For some people that may be Mother Earth or a deceased loved one who they love and trust.
Your ancestors are around you in spirit form. They do connect with you and you can gain strength and support from them. Just welcome them into your heart. Ask them to hold you and guide you. There is so much support available to us from life. We just have to ask and allow it in. Simply close your eyes and ask your ancestors to be with you. Sense them nearby, talk to them, let yourself see them, feel them, hear them. You can and it is good for you. Anything that helps your heart open and your mouth smile is beneficial.
Trust in life and your process. It is okay to go slow. Nature shows us the passing seasons and cycles. It takes time to grow. There’s a time for stagnation, for the shoot to emerge, for the plant to grow and strengthen, for the flower to bud, blossom, wilt and die. There is a time for the seed to fall, to hibernate, to germinate and for the cycle to repeat itself with new growth and life.
We humans want it all to happen now. We expect life to be all okay, all happy right now thank you very much. That’s not how life works. We have spent a lifetime, if not more, partially disconnected from our bodies. It is going to take time to reinhabit them, to melt the ice, to feel the feelings, to honour our truth and find the courage to act upon it. See what is involved. See that all you need to do is take baby steps and let the process occur.
Your body wants to be healthy and happy. Your soul wants you to grow and evolve. It will give you the insights and guidance you need. You just have to be willing to face your truth and take baby steps towards your goal.
You don’t need to figure it out with your mind. Let your mind rest. Let life force flow to the rest of your body. Your mind doesn’t have to work so hard. It’s actually not in charge. It thinks it is. The ego wants it to be. But your body is much, much more powerful and it will win out.
No matter how much you study, learn, succeed or achieve, your body will make you stop and listen. That’s why so many over achievers have heart attacks or other physical challenges. They love their mind, but ignore their body. Until one day the body says “Enough, pay attention to me”. It is a little like a child’s tantrum, but it is an important one, a life threatening or empowering one, depending on which way you look at it.
Many people think of their body as failing them, as the enemy, as an annoying nuisance interrupting their plans. This is foolish. You are your body, it is you. You need to accept this and honour all of you. It’s not selfish to take good care of you. You need to do it. Then you can make a more whole-hearted contribution to society. You can take heart-felt sustainable action that fulfils you, strengthens you and brings you joy. You do this by embodying all of who you are.
It’s time to embrace your body, to anchor within, and to listen to your Soul. Listen and you will be guided forth as to what is most needed. That may be rest, stillness, play and fun. For many that seems pointless, a waste of time. It’s not. Your body needs time to replenish, to strengthen and heal.
Often the answer to a problem will intuitively come once you’ve stopped focusing on it and struggling to find it with your mind. Let go of control and feel, play, have fun. It is just as important for your health if not more so than the food you eat.
You can eat the healthiest food, but if you are disconnected from your body, it doesn’t benefit from the nourishment you have given it. Even vitamin tablets may not be absorbed fully if your focus is in your mind or outside of yourself. You can literally be starving yourself by your thinking and actions that are negative for the body.
It’s time for us to realise we have a new task, a new baby or pet or responsibility to take care of and it requires a lot of our time and attention. When we do give to it and love it, we blossom. We need to honour our bodies, our whole self – just like a baby or child in our care. It is that precious, that dependent on us, that important. We have to give to ourself that same love, care, devotion and attention. We deserve it, for each of us is a precious child, a precious Soul living life the best way it knows how.
It’s time to simplify our ambitions and to focus on living life honouring our self, our needs and opening our hearts to see where life wants us to go, not where we think it should be. Just be yourself, anchor into your body and let yourself move forth with love for self, others and the planet who supports us. When we anchor into our hearts we will be much more nourished and fulfilled. It is safe for you to do so, to be in your body and your heart. Comfort yourself like you would a scared child, for that is what you are.
Comfort yourself and see the inner ice melt and fall away. Let the light in, let the warmth of the sun fill you with more vibrant energy and sing your way through life listening to the information in the wind that blows inside and outside of you. That is how you anchor into your body and your life. Blessed Be. Amen.
By Jodi-Anne (12 August 2018).
Accidents happen for many reasons. Some standard, logical such as inattentiveness, tiredness, pushing too hard and not focused in the present moment. In your case, this car accident was karmic. You and the other driver had a destined date for this to occur and you could not have avoided it. We have helped to minimise the impact on you and we are pleased to see your rapid recovery.
The truth is that in everyone’s lives certain events are destined to occur, to help them awaken and advance in their spiritual growth. This is one such incident. Through it, you can see that we are here supporting you, your faith which was already strong is further strengthened. Your love and appreciation of other people – the medical staff, the bystanders who helped out, etc, has grown. You see the goodness all around you and your heart opens and expands, hence the crack, yes only a slight crack, but still a cracking open of your sternum – the walls and defenses that were around your heart are crumbling away, to let the light shine through more brightly.
Accidents serve many purposes. They are not tragedies or random, they are purposeful and deliberate in their occurrence and outcome. It is not necessarily a sign of you needing a wake up call or a punishment or a negative outcome or balancer of karma, etc. You humans are very creative with your judgements. It is simply the best way to achieve the next step in your evolutionary process. It opens you up further to experience the light and to share it with others.
You inspire people through sharing your story and that opens them up to consider our existence, the role of awakening in life and Spirits supporting you all. It is a tool, an avenue through which you can help with the awakening of humanity. Nothing more, nothing less, no big deal. Things like this happen all over the world every day. We don’t want to make it sound too grand. It is just one simple cog in the wheel turning, there are millions of cogs in each person’s life and this is just one miniscule event which will soon be forgotten, so be it.
Yes the same is true of natural disasters which are occurring on a larger and more frequent scale on Earth now. They strip people’s egos back to bareness. It doesn’t matter how pretty or smart you are or what colour your skin is or who you love – Mother Nature’s power can take away all you hold dear in a split second, a mansion or a shack. Such occurrences require people to quickly adjust to the realisation that material objects are just that and they are of no importance in the big scheme of things.
Such occurrences get people to band together, to help each other, to come back into connection. When you have lost everything and someone gives you something or shows you kindness, it touches you deeply, your heart opens up more fully, and you start to value connection more than the material goods. Likewise, the depth of destruction helps open the hearts of those not involved, who send donations, support and help out in whatever way they can.
It also helps lift people out of their routines, their stuckness as they decide to assist. Even if it is just sweeping roads, talking to neighbours, sharing food or clothes – whatever they do, helps them to see that they are fortunate, they are abundant and their choices do matter. They have the power to do good everyday, to make a difference – this empowers them to take positive actions in their life, instead of wallowing in self pity because they don’t have the latest gadget or fashion.
The same is true of illness – it is a teacher, an awakener. A heart attack, cancer, etc occurs to slow a person down, to get them to reflect on their life, what they are doing and prioritising. It gets them to feel their vulnerability, their fragileness, to open to Spirit/God and pray, to consider the existence of a higher power and purpose for life. It leads to significant changes and reshuffling of their perspectives and choices in life.
So all these types of “accidents”, events, serve a purpose and it is one of goodness, of awakening, of inspiring others to see their greatness and capabilities, to shift their focus and way of living life.
Nothing happens without a positive purpose. Trust in this and have faith that all that occurs is serving you mightily. You might not understand it, but it is. All happens for a positive reason, which you may or may not become aware of down the track, till you cross over and watch the replay of your life – to see the opportunities you were presented with along the way, to step into the grandest, highest version of yourself and serve humanity in the unique way that only you can do. You are all special, all important, all capable, all here for a reason.
Have faith that life will bring you what you need every step of the way. You don’t have to try and force things to happen. Surrender and trust and know that we and your loved ones that have passed, watch over you, guide you and cheer you on. We love you dearly and we love all of you the same, for the greatest sinner and the greatest saint are the same in God’s eyes. You are all serving a purpose, experiencing what you need to for your own awakening and asisting others in theirs with your interactions. Without any darkness you wouldn’t see the light. Both are needed, both serve a purpose, and both are good. Do not live in fear of what might occur. Live in faith that no matter what occurs it is serving you, helping you in some way and you are loved and looked after, even when you feel alone. Blessed BE. Amen.
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In this short video Nadine Burke Harris explains how adverse childhood experiences impacts the health of the child and continues to do so over the lifetime of the person. She explains in scientific terms why this occurs and ways the impacts can be reduced. She believes that this is a public health issue and should be addressed as such with multidisciplinary teams available to help affected individuals to heal the trauma and reduce the impacts.
When you have suffered a painful start to life you bury your true self inside under layers and layers of protection. The innocent part of you is wrapped up safely, hidden away and kept under wraps for fear that exposing it will result in more pain, loss or abandonment.
This makes it very difficult to know who you are and to live your life with joy. Basically, you walk around with a gaping hole in your heart as part of you, the core part of you is missing in action. It is simply not there, disowned, buried, ignored and left in the dark.
This results in a sense of emptiness and loss that cannot be filled by material objects or worldy pursuits. No matter what you achieve or do, you still feel empty and like something is missing, beacause it is. You are missing, the truest part of who you are, the indivdual, unique aspects of you.
We often modify who we are to fit in to different situations. We show different parts of ourself or aspects of us to different people and situations. At work you may be smart, responsible, friendly, helpful, kind and thoughtful. At home with friends you may be more casual, relaxed and playful. On the sport field you may be more rambunctious, competitive and blood thirsty. With your kids you are hopefully gentle, loving, kind and attentive.
But how are you when you are with yourself? Do you sit quietly and listen within to hear what it is your heart needs? Do you even know that your heart speaks to you or your inner child? Do you give yourself any time in the day to be with you? Do you even know what it is that you really like to do? What activities make your heart sing? What is it that you thoroughly enjoy doing, where time just flies past and you feel really peaceful and complete afterwards? These are things your true self, your unique self likes to do, things that fill your emotional needs up, they fill up your cup of life, your reserves and fuel for completing the rest of the tasks you need to do in your day to day busyness.
If you are not taking the time to listen to and meet your heart’s needs, then it is likely that your cup is close to empty. You may feel drained, exhausted and wondering whether it is worth the effort doing all the things you do. You are probably craving change, but not sure how to go about it or if you have the energy to try.
Uncover who you really are and sing through life. Make time for your true self and true desires and you will feel much better. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. Your heart’s desire may be for long walks in nature; to simply sit and read a book; to play with your dog; to cook a nice meal; to watch the sunset; to play sport; to spend time with friends; to eat chocolate cake while savouring every bite and letting it ooze down your throat.
Slowly, simply living life, enjoying it more fully, being present to each moment as it goes by. Less stress, less rush, less fuss and bother, less worry or forcing things to happen, less controlling and mind chatter. Just relax below that, slow your breath and drop into your heart centre, listen to it, it will tell you what you need to be happier and more fulfilled.
As you meet your own needs you become more of who you truly are, as you are allowing it back to the surface. It doesn’t matter if others don’t like doing what you like doing. It doesn’t matter whether you can only do it for an hour a day or an afternoon a week. What matters is you take the time to connect in with your heart and breathe through any stress and tension there to get back to a state of peace and oneness with your core self.
If you still have reistance to connecting with your heart, just send love to those parts of you who are scared to be seen. Breathe in gold light through your crown chakra and into each chakra, then see the gold light spreading through every cell of your body, every muscle, every fibre, all your DNA, RNA and molecules. This helps to relax, calm and soothe the body. It gives the cells what they need to start healing and releasing that which no longer serves them. Gold light is a high vibration that can help shift out that which no longer serves us and that which holds us back from living life more fully.
Embrace who you really are, your uniqueness. It truly is okay to be you. There is no need to hide it or yourself away from the world. While those in your early life may not have honoured who you are, you can and must if you want to be peaceful and happy. Own it, own who you are and have fun in your unique way.
When you let yourself have pleasure, by doing what you love, you will discover how you can do that and be of service to others. There is a way that your passion can become helpful to others and even a source of income for you, if you wish it to be so. It is up to you. You may not want to turn it into a business adventure. You may just want it to be your hobby, your special time out just for you. Whatever it is, do it, honour who you are and let your real self shine. No need to hide it under a bushel, let your love out, your light shine through and be at peace. For you truly are safe and deeply loved throughout the Universe. You just need to clear out the old story and residue, so you can see the truth and live your life without fear and with a lot more joy. So be it. Amen.
Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) can be used to help shake out any fear, tension and trauma you have within. If we’re caught in fear it is usually due to past painful events that hurt us and we’re wanting to avoid experiencing that again, so we contract, limit ourselves and our expression in an attempt to stay safe and not experience any more hurt, rejection or shame.
If you were ridiculed for your uniqueness, your passion and joy when doing what you love most, you may have decided not to do it any more. You may have given it up. Denied yourself what you loved most, so that you would fit in, be more accepted and less ridiculed.
It is understandable as a child you would do that to protect yourself, but as an adult it doesn’t matter what other people think so much. Clear out the old pain and trauma with TRE so you can open back up to fully being you and doing what you love. You will feel so much better when you take the time to spend on your passions, your joys. It will positively impact all of your interactions because you will be more content and peaceful in yourself.
When you honour you, you give permission to others to follow their passions and joys too. You role model to them that it’s okay to be who they are. The world needs more of us doing this so there is less anger and conflict in the world. See how big an impact this can have. It’s not selfish or self-indulgent to take time for your passion, your hobbies, your joys. It’s a gift you give to yourself and the world.
Here’s a link to an article about a great new book explaining how we can inherit trauma from past generations of family members and how we can use family constellations and other methods to heal it.
The article (and the book) include case studies of clients that were not be helped with traditional psychology approaches that focused on what had happened throughout the client’s life. Once they opened to the idea that the trauma, pattern, addiction, health issue may have been inherited, solutions were found using Family Constellations concepts.
If you have an issue that doesn’t seem to shift no matter what you do, consider looking further back in your family line at where it may have come from. I can help you to do this.
