Tag: releasing judgement

Family Constellations Facilitator Training 2024 (in person, in Meadows, South Australia)

Featured by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Family Constellations, Healing from child abuse, Personal Development

Facilitating this training has been my greatest joy this year. I look forward to sharing it with whoever feels drawn to participate in 2024.

It is such a privilege to walk beside people on a healing journey. This Family Constellations Facilitator Training is a 6-month healing journey where you learn about the hidden dynamics within families that impact our health and wellbeing.

Learn about intergenerational trauma and how it passes down the family line looking for someone to face it, feel it and release it on behalf of all.

Learn how to see your life and your experiences from a systemic perspective, understanding why your parents and their parents may not have been fully available to nurture and nourish their children.

See the repeating patterns and how to shift them.

Feel your emotional hurts and transform them, speaking your truth to representatives of those involved.

Release what no longer serves you so that you can open to receive more love from life, Source, Earth, yourself and your family system.

Connect to the bigger processes unfolding, supporting your growth and healing.

This training is a 6-month journey of stepping into greater peace and love. It will involve some challenging moments as you face and feel the inner depths of your pain, your truth of how you feel and what you need, but you will come out of it empowered to create more of what you do want in your life.

And as a bonus you will have also learned how to and practiced facilitating constellations for yourself, others, and small groups. You will have the skills and knowledge to become a Family Constellations practitioner if you wish to do so.

There is no pressure to do this. You can simply do the training with the intention of focusing on your own healing and that of your family system. It is up to you.

With Family Constellations there is no right and wrong. We hold a space for what the field wants to reveal to us. We honour what we are shown and those involved.

We give thanks for the realisations and the freedom that comes from understanding the wider system and hidden dynamics shaping our families behaviour.

We honour all involved and give thanks for our lives. We face the truth and acknowledge what is.

We turn from that which has held us back and walk forward into the new feeling the support of our family system walking with us.

We feel the presence of our ancestors and foster a deeper sense of belonging, of being held, loved and supported by those who came before us and passed on life to us.

We honour life and the difficult journeys we have as humans with tender hearts in a world that can be deeply painful and cruel, as those around us act out their wounds and slowly return to their natural state of innocence.

Learn how to rest in the stillness, peace and love of the field, which holds you in pure light enabling you to rebalance, renew and refocus into living from a state of love.

If this feels interesting to you, if you are willing to go within and face what is, then you are welcome to do this training.

You don’t need to have any qualifications or existing skills.

I will provide you with a detailed manual explaining life from the Family Constellations perspective.

We will have one weekend a month together to do constellations, to share and heal deeply.

In between you read the manual and practice what you have learned.

We can stay in touch through a private Facebook Group and of course I am available for 1 on 1 sessions (but these are at an additional cost, discounted for training participants).

There are more details on my website including a list of Frequently Asked Questions.

Blessed BE,

Jodi-Anne

How do you accept where people are at?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Personal Development, Relationships

Here’s a video exploring how to accept where people are at. We all have different levels of emotional and spiritual awareness. We are all healing and evolving at a rate we can handle. When those you love appear to be in a different place to you it can be tempting to rescue them or judge them as less aware, but that isn’t helpful or even true.

From a larger perspective, some of us can be very egotistical about spirituality and what we think is right. Each person has to find their own truth, their own way to their heart and to live from that space. The best thing we can do to help is to focus on love and acceptance, coming from our own hearts, so that we are anchoring that vibration for the benefit of all.

In this video, Jodi-Anne explores ‘How do you accept where people are at?’ It is one of over 100 questions she has asked about life and channelled an answer through automatic writing. All of these answers to questions about life, how to live peacefully and happily are available for free on the ‘Life Insights‘ page of her website.

What does it mean to be free of the past?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Healing from child abuse, Personal Development

Here’s a video exploring what it means to be free of the past, how you know when you’ve broken free of it and are no longer being affected by it so much. I hope you find it useful.

To be free of the past means to no longer be affected by it, which means you no longer think about it, cling to it, or be affected by it in your current day to day actions. It no longer informs your thinking, attitudes or expectations of what is to occur in the future.

To be free of the past means you are completely present to the moment, living now. Your energy is here now, not split between worry about the past and future, with only partial attention on the now.

When you are present now you can notice the signs and synchronicities that occur all around you, giving you feedback about how you are progressing in life and guiding you forward as to what to do next.

When you are present to life in the moment you notice your inner guidance, your intuition, and your body’s signals about what it wants from you. Your body will tell you what food is most beneficial to eat at each meal. If you are lacking a particular vitamin or amino acid you will get an inkling to eat a specific vegetable or meat if you need protein. Your body will tell you. You just have to be quiet enough in your mind to hear it.

Likewise, your body will tell you whether or not someone is being honest with you, or whether or not you should trust them. You will get messages to go certain places with no explanation of why. If you follow the inner advice you may be shocked that you bump into someone important to your goals at that place or find the perfect book to help you along your path.

Living in the now enables you to meet people a fresh – to not have tainted views of them based on past experiences. It means you can be friendly and kind to all with no baggage or preconceived notions of who they are.

There is much to gain from living in the now and breaking free of the past. But how do you do it? How do you let the past go? You do so with every breath, every thought, every action. You do so by paying attention to your now and calling your mind back to now whenever it wanders to the past or future. You do so as a loving discipline, centring yourself back to the now with your senses – focusing on what you see, feel, hear, taste and smell.

You can use Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to help you to clear out the past energies, the tensions, stresses and traumas that have accumulated throughout your life and weigh you down.

It is these old stagnant energies that lead to our fears of events happening again. We still have the emotional pain inside and want to avoid feeling it again. It is all this past residue that keeps us away from living more fully in the moment.

TRE can help you to ‘shake out’ these old energies, thaw out any frozen shock and trauma so that you can finally discharge that energy, let it go and focus more on your now. When your body is more relaxed and feeling safer, it is easier for you to live life from a more joyful place, connecting with others and having fun.

Your interactions with people will feel more satisfying and fulfilling as you will be connecting more deeply, intimately, seeing into each other’s soul, your essence, rather than distracted, surface chit-chat. Such deep interactions fill your cup with love and attention – you feel seen, heard, valued, loved and this fills you up.

You no longer need to scream out for attention or to be heard. You are seen and heard, first by yourself, then others. So make the effort to be more in the now. You will be surprised how much more enjoyable the day is, how much less stressful it is, and how much more productive it is. Achieve one task at a time without pressuring yourself by worrying about getting it all done. One step at a time is enough.

You don’t need to see the whole path in front of you, just the next few steps. When driving at night the car’s headlights illuminate the way in front of us, but we can only see a short distance ahead. We drive on trusting the next part of the road will be illuminated when we approach it. We don’t waste energy worrying if the road is there or not. We trust it is.

Similarly, life leads us forth and we cannot get lost. The path we are to take is determined and we are guided to it. It is predestined, chosen before we birthed. It just plays out like a movie. We are the lead character and live through each scene, each chapter of our life. We are all held safe in God’s arms as we journey forth on this path of evolution and growth.

There are potholes and obstacles on the road, but we are guided around them. Sometimes one’s car breaks down and we have to rest and repair it. This is all part of life. Some journeys are long and tedious, some are short and joyful. You never know what is going to occur on each drive. It is part of the mystery and adventure. Even unexpected setbacks, accidents and tragedies are part of God’s plan, leading us forth, on this evolutionary journey.

Through pain, we wake up to what is truly important in life. We let go of the mundane, rat-race and focus on what we really care about, what we are passionate about and what makes our heart’s sing. Life is that journey to our singing hearts. Before the music is pitch-perfect we have to clear out the baggage of the past and be able to live in the now. It is worth the effort. Blessed BE. Amen.

In this video, Jodi-Anne explores ‘What does it mean to be free of the past?’ It is one of over 100 questions she has asked about life and channelled an answer through automatic writing. All of these answers to questions about life, how to live peacefully and happily are available for free on the ‘Life Insights’ page of her website.

How to know when to stay or go?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Personal Development, Relationships

There are times in all relationships when intimacy declines and you start to wonder whether the relationship is a healthy one or not.

One of you may have diverted your energies elsewhere, making you unavailable fully to your partner. Some people connect in at work, sport, a hobby or focus more on the children leaving a partner feeling alone and less connected. Of course some have affairs. But more often than not one or both partners become distracted internally, dealing with whatever emotional pain and triggers have been occurring.

This diversion inwards makes less energy available outwards and again a partner may feel left out in the cold. They can feel that their partner’s warmth, their focus, and their energy are not with them anymore. Sometimes if this is temporary it can be sustained in the relationship as is. If the distracted partner comes back to focus with the other, all is well.

Sometimes however this disconnection can continue for a long time. It can be completely unintentional and not due to a lack of love. If one or both partners are dealing with emotional pain, they are simply not available to fully connect with the other. They may truly want to, but feel unable to.

If the partners can talk about what is going on honestly. If they can support each other in their efforts for growth, they may find a way through. But both must be willing to talk openly, honestly and to do the work to heal their inner hurts.

No matter how much you love the other, you cannot heal their wounds for them. They have to go within, feel and heal. They have to make the time to look at the way they are living their life and choose to make changes so they can be happier, healthier and more available to mutually nurture and nourish the partner and the relationship.

Each has to choose to make the relationship a priority, to create time together doing fun things. If they don’t it can become stale, boring, not stimulating and they might drift apart.

No matter how hard you try to please the other or to take care of the other, if they are not looking after themselves it won’t work.

They have to step up, take action and do the work to heal their hurts, change their thinking and behaviour patterns, so that they can be more positive, more available for themselves and the other. They have to do the work. You can’t do it for them.

If you stay too long in the above scenario you will become deflated, depressed and despairing. It is outside of your control to make it work. You can’t force it, pretend it, fluff it up so you feel better. You need to face facts and see whether or not your emotional needs, your intimacy needs, your physical needs, etc. are being met within the relationship.

If they are not you need to consider leaving for the sake of your own health. You can’t wait forever. You will get angry. You will get resentful. You will get manipulative and forceful trying to get your partner to take action. But if they aren’t ready, they’re simply not ready, and no amount of pushing, cajoling, crying, etc. will change that.

You can’t roll a boulder uphill easily. That is what you are doing if you are trying to get someone to change who simply doesn’t want to or know how to.

Even if they’re depressed and unhappy, they won’t change till they feel capable and you can’t make that happen. You can love them, encourage them, provide books or other resources, but then you need to accept what is. Step back and wait. Give the person a chance to decide what they are and are not willing to do.

Sadly they may choose not to take action. That is their right. Your choice is whether to accept that or not. Your choice is to decide how long you are willing to wait before you start focussing elsewhere too.

The healthiest thing to do is to focus on making your life happier. Spend time with friends, do activities or hobbies you enjoy. This takes the pressure off of the relationship so you both can breathe.

If the partner becomes more available you can connect back in deeply. If they don’t you will feel more held and fulfilled in your life outside of the relationship and you can let that expand. The choice is yours.

Face facts and decide what to do. Don’t pretend all is okay if it is not. Don’t blame the other. Just see it from their side. They need to focus elsewhere. This is not a rejection of you or a judgement of you. It is just a phase of life taking them in a different direction. The question becomes will your roads meet again or travel further apart.

Surrender and trust that no matter what happens life will lead you both forth to experience what you need to, in order to keep healing, evolving and opening your hearts. You will both be taken care of as you move along your journeys, together or apart.

If you do part, give thanks for all you have shared, learned and grown during the relationship. Give thanks for the good and challenging times through which you gained more clarity on what is important to you, and what you will not accept or compromise on.

Give thanks for the love, the joy, the passion which may have long gone cold. Give thanks for the acceptance and connection which would have nourished you in the beginning. Let go of judgements, condemnations or harshness. Just let go with love and trust you will be led forth into that which you need next in your life.

When the time is right you will meet another and the cycles of love and growth will continue. We go through many of these cycles each lifetime. Sometimes the cycle occurs with the same partner, when relationships cool then warm up again, and sometimes it occurs with new partners.

Trust that what is meant to be will be, and all is truly okay, even if it feels painful to acknowledge the truth of the current situation. Take a deep breath and smile, knowing all is okay deep within and anything that needs to shift and release will.

Flow with the waves of emotion and let them dissipate. You will have grief over letting go of something you thought would last forever. It’s only natural. Be kind to yourself each day and don’t think too far ahead. Relax and let go knowing all will be okay in the end. Blessed BE.

By Jodi-Anne (27 April 2019).

  • Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
  • If you found this blog useful you may wish to consider purchasing a copy of Jodi-Anne’s book ‘Advice from a higher Source’ which contains 85 more answers to questions about life. The paperback book or ebook can be purchased online at – http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JMS2011. (Once you have clicked into view the description of the book, go to the top of the page and choose the flag symbol for your country, this will show you the price in your currency and enable you to purchase it in that currency)

How to accept divine timing and your growth rate?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Personal Development, Self help techniques

It is not up to you how fast growth occurs. It takes a lifetime to achieve the growth your soul has come to experience. Events will occur to create the shifts needed, for awareness to dawn and self love to occur. This will all happen at the destined time. You can not influence it. You think you can by going to that workshop, doing that healing, but we tell you it still occurs as needed. It is your soul guiding you forth. It is your soul giving you the urge to do the workshop or healing. It is all occurring as it needs to.

Let go of the judgement, the impatience and flow with the process, accept what comes and what goes. It is not up to you. People will come and go out of your life, behave in certain ways to trigger you. Everything that is needed for your growth will come, because it has to for you to evolve as needed this lifetime.

You can’t get it wrong or miss an important event or person. It will all occur as it needs to. You just judge it with your mind, assuming you should be doing more or be more advanced by now. There is no more advanced, there is no better than or worse than, don’t compare your self to others. Don’t assume how you should be is anything other than how you already are.

You humans make it so hard for yourselves. You are determined to see yourselves as not good enough, but this is just your thoughts, just your conditioning. Change it, so you are accepting of yourself, so you know you are exactly where and how you need to be right now, so you can be kind and loving to yourself. That is what is needed so you can enjoy the process more, so you can enjoy the journey.

You will get where you need to be regardless, but you affect your experience of it with your thoughts. You create suffering and angst with your thoughts and judgements.

If you’re struggling to cope with the stress of your daily life you can use a wide range of tools to help yourself release the stress, lighten up and enjoy life more. When you do this it is easier to accept what is, as it is no longer all consuming, all pervasive. the challenge is balanced by your doing more relaxing and enjoyable activities as well. Whether it’s time alone, time in nature or with friends, whether it is exercise, dance or doing something creative. Find what makes your heart sing, helps to cheer you up, refuel you so you can keep moving forward day by day. Do what you love and it makes it easier to bear nearly any circumstance you face.

If you’ve experienced heartbreak, trauma and loss that has devastated you then you may need a different kind of support. Whether that be guidance and support from a counsellor or use of embodiment activities like Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) to help you reconnect with your body, shift out the stress tension and trauma, so your body and nervous system calms and you can finally have peace within. There’s lots you can do to support yourself as you face whatever challenges life brings you.

Accept what is and flourish. Deny it and struggle. Rally against it and feel helpless, depressed or worse suicidal. Accept what is, knowing it will pass, that it is just a phase of growth and you will have peace. Accept yourself and your journey and you will have joy. Accept those around you and trust they are guided forth in their process, that they are all doing exactly what is needed for their evolution and growth, then you will have love overflowing in your life – from you to others and from others to you. Accept what is and have peace.

Foster greater acceptance and trust, faith that it will all work out okay and you will have excitement, anticipation and positive feelings of the future. The choice is yours create negative feelings with your thoughts or positive ones. The same outcomes will occur, just your experience of it, your sense of joy or suffering will differ. Which will you choose? It is entirely up to you. Blessed BE , Amen.

By Jodi-Anne M Smith (21 April 2017).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.

How to accept the choices of others?

by Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith, posted in Conscious Evolution, Personal Development, Relationships, Self help techniques

When you are caught in emotional pain it is tempting to blame others and judge them for their choices. Yet each is doing the best they can to cope with the pain and trauma they have inside.

Each is doing what they can to live, survive and eventually thrive. Just because you don’t see another’s pain doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Everyone has challenges. Everyone is evolving and therefore going through challenges and change. It is a never-ending cycle of growth.

Allow each person to be where they are and to do it their way. Some will reach out longing for connection. Some will hide and isolate themselves for protection, not wanting to be caught up in other people’s drama or just trying to survive the drama going on within.

When life has been hard it can be very messy inside, with chaotic thoughts and mood fluctuations. It can take a lot of energy just to navigate through the day and function effectively enough at work and in your day to day activities. There is often little energy after doing all that and people need to rest, to re-energise, to refill their dwindling energy reserves.

Different people refuel in different ways. Some need time alone. Some need time in nature. Some need to exercise or do an activity that they enjoy. Some need to be with friends or family who love them and fill them up. Whatever works for you will not necessarily work for others. Each has to do it their way, in their own time.

Shake out your stress and frustration using Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE). It can help you to calm your nervous system and body, so you don’t feel so scared or feel a need to isolate yourself. It can help you to drop back down into the social engagement state (ventral vagal) of your Autonomic Nervous System (ANS). It helps you to self-regulate and to release your past hurts and traumas.

When you clear out the old pains, the stagnant energy, it’s easier to focus on living and enjoying your life regardless of what others choose to do. When you’re balanced and at peace, you can hear your intuition and guidance. You can receive insights into the deeper reasons why certain events are occurring or why people are behaving the way they are.

Do what you need to do to look after yourself, to nourish your body, mind and keep your energy clear and vital. Let go of worrying about others or assuming they don’t like you or some other judgement. Let it go. Focus on what you can control and change, and that is you, your health and wellbeing.

TRE can be a great support to assist you with this. Once you have learned TRE and can self-regulate it, you can do it for free at home as often as you need to help you maintain balance and heal. It’s a wonderful tool for self-care.

Expecting more than someone can give just sets yourself up for disappointment. Learn self-reliance and spend time with those who do connect with you, who do have energy for you. Don’t waste your breath complaining about what is – if others can’t give to you, there is nothing you can do to change that fact. The individuals involved have to change, heal, decide to spend time with you. Some might and some might not.

Remember each is struggling with their own internal world, their own challenges and they are doing the best they can. Choose love for all beings and focus on healing yourself, so that you can feel peaceful regardless of what occurs around you.

You may not like the way some people behave or the state of the world and what occurs in it, but it is what it is. Do what you can to be happy, to influence those you can and let the rest go. It is all happening for a reason and it is all part of the evolutionary journey. Choose kindness in all you do and choose peace within. When you can do this you will see more peace outside in the world as well.

Do not let yourself be used, exhausted, emptied by others. Have firm boundaries and say yes when you want to and no when you don’t want to do something requested of you. There is no need to sacrifice yourself to please others. Each is on their own journey of awakening and will get there in the end. Each person will find love and harmony within. They just have to process their pain, release the emotional density and centre within.

Send each person who irks you, love. Know they are doing the best they can, then let it go. Let them be where they are at. Let them be who they are. Love and acceptance heal, not judgement or blame. Let it go and choose peace, accept what is and live your life knowing all is okay, all is a part of life and all happens for a reason.

By Jodi-Anne (29 June 2016).
Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.