How to recognise when a relationship no longer serves you?

lovely-friendship-images-4k-image-1Relationships occur to support your growth and expand your understanding of life. Through conflict and challenge in relationships you learn to see your conditioning, your patterning and what it is you need to heal.

Simply leaving one partner and moving to the next one will result in repeating the lesson and confrontation which will surface once again hoping you will heal it and resolve the issue. Once you heal the issue inside you, you no longer need to manifest it in the outside world.

So how to tell if the conflict you face in a relationship is leading to beneficial growth and therefore is still a useful, supportive relationship or if it is time to leave? That is the million dollar question.

If your relationship is generally happy, filled with love and supportive of you and your growth, then it is beneficial. If your partner accepts you as you are, cares for you and wants the best for you – then it is clear that this is a beneficial relationship in which you can continue to grow.

Life will never be completely easy and relationships wil always have their ups and down. The challenge is not to run away too early or throw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak.

It is a time of tumultuous growth on Earth. Much is being asked of you all and you are clearing out dense emotions and energy at a rapid rate. There are going to be times when you or your partner are bogged down in their stuff, where they are not able to see the light of day, where they appear stuck and hopeless. Will you love them at this point or leave them? Love stays. Love heals. Love reconnects the wounds within to the light of love and freedom.

Love and support each other through these challenges. See the good in each other, not the weaknesses. See the growth and changes occurring in all beings you interact with.

While there is love and support a relationship is worthwhile. When the love is gone or there is meanness, harshness and selfishness, then perhaps it is time to part. But not before hand and don’t go too soon, as it may just be a healing crisis that can be worked through resulting in elevated energy / vibration for all.

Trust life to guide you forth. If you are meant to leave you will get a clear message. If you are confused then it is not time to go. Look at your own stuff to heal, focus their and keep healing your own stuff, raising your vibration and welcoming greater love and light into your heart, body and mind.

You are a being of love. It is only the wounds that stop you from seeing it and feeling it. Don’t reject yourself or others. Love them. Love them all. It is love that heals and reunites us.

If you are being abused by a partner by all means leave. But if there is love there, support and encouragement – see it, value it, appreciate it. If you can talk heart to heart and connect deeply that is a gift, a powerful healing opportunity guiding you both to wholeness. Don’t turn away from such a love because it is not your version of perfection.

All relationships will have challenge, that is what they are designed for. They help you clear out your conditioning and patterning. Will you love or reject the other when they are less than perfect? You too are less than perfect. Do they accept you? Are you being less loving than them?

It can be very complicated to see through all the projections and wounded aspects to see into the heart of the other. But try to do so. In their heart they are still pure, innocent souls. Each just needs love and acceptance to help them unlock the door to their heart and let their light shine.

That is why we bond in relationship. We are looking for someone to love us as we are, which gives us permission to consider that we are worthy of love and are okay even with our wounds. When we feel this, we can let our guard down, the defenses and walls dissolve and we can be vulnerable, authentic and intimate. Without that acceptance we don’t feel safe to expose our tender hearts and heal our deepest wounds. It is the love and safety that comes with intimacy – seeing into another’s true essence, that heals us both, all who participate in it. Be that loving. Be that supportive of each other and your relationship will continue to grow and evolve.

That is the goal of life – to evolve into conscious and loving light beings while living here on Earth. If you can still your mind and go deep within to the still place of your heart, you will hear the truth about your relationship and you will know what to do. The answers are within you, you just have to have the courage to hear them and the sense to patiently wade through all the static like noise that comes from your projections and mind chatter.

Never take action rashly. Never leave or attack the other when you are feeling threatened / defensive / rageful. Breathe through those emotions and work through your stuff, so you come to a place of balance before talking to your partner or friend about the situation. In this way you respond with honesty and love for both of you, as opposed to reacting full of initial emotion, which does not necessarily represent how you really feel. Trust life to lead you forth. Let go of needing to control it all or figure it out. If you are confused it is not time to leave. It is time to look within and heal the buttons being pushed and the wounds beneath them.

Relationships are not meant to be warm and fuzzy all the time. They are tools for growth and learning how to love fully, accepting another as they are – not directing them to be your ideal man or woman. They are who they are, accept them. Don’t try to change them or control them. That will only result in resentment and frustration on both sides. No one likes to be told they are not okay or not good enough. No one deserves to be treated that way.

Love everyone you come in contact with. That is what we all need, to open our hearts and become our true, authentic selves. So choose peace and happiness. Don’t take things personally and accept each other as you grow and evolve in love. That is how it should be. Blessed BE. Amen.

By Jodi-Anne (11 Sept 2015).

Further free guidance on healing techniques and self love are available on the Life Insights and Healing from child abuse pages of this website.
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